Sometimes love can be found right under your comment section!

[u/HarshitaS]

most wholesome thing I saw all week

[u/RAMDOMDUDDS]

Yes and no. We have to remember that attraction is a spectrum. I've met loads of unconventionally attractive men and women who just don't carry themselves well due to past experiences. Some of the people who believe they are so unattractive aren't truly "ugly", they've just been treated as ugly their entire lives that they just slap that label on themselves.

I mean i'm a dude and I personally find loads of the "conventionally attractive" celebrities god awfully ugly(but I place personality over looks). Simply because of the things they say or do, meanwhile someone with the polar opposite mindset will believe they are an angel simply because they have a pretty face or nice body.

And of course there are the people who fit perfectly in your comments category. Like the guy we are talking about.

[u/Inevitable-Level-687 → u/RAMDOMDUDDS]

I'm asexual, which means I don't experience sexual attraction. Sometimes I feel like I'm studying aliens when I watch non-asexual people talk about what's attractive. Attractiveness as an ideal is pushed so much that what non-asexuals experience as attractive looks incredibly dull and generic if you don't experience attraction. Like I see someone say someone else is hot and it's always some guy who looks exactly the same as all the other attractive guys.

[u/Gloomy660660 → u/Inevitable-Level-687]

I’m aroace and am super curious what other asexuals experience… Personally, there are a handful of people I think are super handsome, I call it aesthetic attraction haha So while there’s no sexual attraction, something about their appearance coupled with their mannerism makes me gravitate towards them

[u/RAMDOMDUDDS → u/Gloomy660660]

I've heard of that, I was apparently that for my first girlfriend lol. I definitely wouldn't consider myself attractive by any means, but she apparently saw me helping people a lot and after our first kiss she told me it was my kindness that attracted her the most, but she apparently thought I was cute right away.

[u/_sissy_hankshaw_ → u/Gloomy660660]

I'm pansexual and have had many times in my life where I'm sure I'm ace but I have the same "attraction" to textiles and design as I do a human. I'll get more excited over a tapestry, tasty meal, or interesting bird than a person. Maybe twice a year I'll have a "hot damn" moment but the person is a work of art inside and out usually, not what most would call "attractive". I think I found my people lol

[u/RAMDOMDUDDS → u/Inevitable-Level-687]

I feel you, I'm bisexual but place personality above looks. So to some of my more understanding friends I'll say I'm a pan-forward bisexual who prefers women. I still feel that attraction to physical characteristics, but once I experience someone's personality I will either like that person more or the physical side immediately drops because they suck as a human being.

Needless to say, I'm used to being let down lmfao.

[u/Inevitable-Level-687 → u/RAMDOMDUDDS]

I've felt an attraction like. Once in my life. It wasn't sexual attraction but there was a "hot damn" moment.

I heard him say the words "hey, what's that garbage you like to watch?" to his girlfriend and it died instantly.

That's the closest I ever came to sexual attraction and it disappeared the moment he was a dick to someone he loved lmao

I COMPLETELY forgot about that until I saw your comment!

[u/RAMDOMDUDDS → u/Inevitable-Level-687]

And its completely valid. I fell head over heels for a new girl in my school all the way back in middle school, then I actually talked to her and she was such a bitch(I don't call anyone that), but I mean straight up disregard for others personal opinions while expecting everyone to respect her own, joked about tearing another kids paper up.

The very next day she got suspending for both fighting in the locker room as well as knocking two kids lunch trays out of their hands.

Some people can be otherworldly attractive physically, while being the most vile in personality. But on the other side of the coin I've met someone whose both incredibly kind as well as beautiful. Unfortunately nothing came from that but hey, glad for the experience.

[u/Acidmademesmile → u/RAMDOMDUDDS]

I'm just very sexual but I have sexlexia

[u/WhoseverFish → u/Inevitable-Level-687]

Same. I really don’t get what people see when they say someone is hot.

[u/shinebeat → u/RAMDOMDUDDS]

I get what you mean! I personally find a lot of "conventionally attractive" people unattractive too, or some might look okay, but their face gets boring after a while. And to me, the personality makes the person more attractive (if they have some positive traits like humor, kindness, etc), or vice versa.

I could find someone attractive, but if they show some extremely negative trait, I would immediately find them ugly. Or someone might look unattractive initially, but their personality makes them more and more good-looking to me.

[u/RAMDOMDUDDS → u/shinebeat]

Yeah, the last person my brain decided to be attracted to wound up being a crazy chick who believed a specific tea blend would (idk how else to say this while minimizing banworthy content) end a pregnancy early and yelled at the woman(my friend) who asked for the help when it didn't work.

The human brain is a fascinating thing.

[u/youinthefreezer → u/RAMDOMDUDDS]

I've dated "out of my league" because I like to think my personality is a draw. I've also dated people who would probably be considered unattractive by a lot of others. Personality matters. You can be the hottest person ever, but if your personality sucks, then no thanks.