Sometimes love can be found right under your comment section!

[u/HarshitaS]

most wholesome thing I saw all week

[u/Adventurous-Flow5390]

To be completely honest, I think truly attractive people who have people swooning over them left and right are probably more likely to end up with somebody who isn’t as conventionally attractive but is genuinely a decent person. As they would stand out, rather than the opposite.

Whereas, normal looking people generally see super attractive people as worth sacrificing some personality for. Or all in some cases…As I’m sure we’ve all seen at one time or another with some of our friends lol..

Sometimes though, it’s just straight confusing. I have a friend who is an extremely attractive woman, has a great career, tons of friends, a large community, all of that. Yet she decided to date a guy for a long time who was not only not at all conventionally attractive, but was a hugeeeee douchebag as well. Like two minutes within meeting him I was like ummm what’s up with this dude??? And almost nobody we knew wanted to be any where near him.. Yet, she moved out of state with him to live on his property and everything. It baffled me.
Only thing I can see he had going for him was he had some money? But like, she does too and gave up her career for him and everything? It was soooooo weird lol..

[u/kenzakki → u/Adventurous-Flow5390]

I know someone of about the same scenario a couple years back.

My friend has a cousin, she is very attractive, pleasant personality and is doing well for herself (forgot her work atp), we are not that close but she does hang around with us sometimes.

One day, she is seeing this guy who is a total douche (this is the best word i can come up without sounding mean) and a walking red flag. Initially, we thought its probably because we dont know him and he was just trying to fit in and we probably dont know him much yet for us to judge so we gave him a chance but over time, our perception of him only got worse and worse, they then decided to then move in together and move out of state. Years later my friend (her cousin) then asked me if we have any job openings at my firm (where i work) that she can work because everything imploded between her and that dude, she left him bringing their two kids with her, moved back to her parents and the only reason it took longer for her to leave was because COVID lockdowns were still a thing back then so she cant travel and have no place to go.

We didnt have any openings and the last i heard of her was that she is doing well but struggling a bit because shes now a single mom with two kids and have like 2 (maybe 3, i forgot) jobs while her mom takes care of the kids while shes at work.

Sometimes you just never know with people man. I never asked her but i for sure know its not because of looks (he isnt good looking) and not because of personality either, sometimes attraction to someone just cant be explained.

[u/Adventurous-Flow5390 → u/kenzakki]

Dude yeah, same kind of thing here.
I just can’t logically understand how stuff like that happens.

Like, did they just give the person the right kind of attention for them specifically? Or how does it go from “literally everybody else knows this person sucks, but they feel it’s a good idea to drop their entire life for them….??????” My friend is/was a very successful tattoo artist, and has a huge community as well. Like she could have very easily chosen from a few dozen of legitimately good dudes who would’ve treated her much better, with money, looks, a much much better personality, that provided everything else this guy did.
But nah, she has to go with the guy who’s almost certain to burn her life to the ground, and do it in the most boring way as well. Lmao.. it just makes no sense to me, and I’m not even about to try to understand it lol… Literally none of the stories she told me after she left the other state and moved back home were anything good either.. lol… Like not even “fun exciting drama” like a lot of people seem attracted to, just very standard douche bag shit.

Glad your friends cousin is doing alright now though even if she’s struggling a bit.

[u/Consistent_Cell_9163 → u/Adventurous-Flow5390]

Yeah pretty girl ugly dude combos good cause it’s like shrek.

[u/Excellent_Law6906 → u/Adventurous-Flow5390]

Sometimes you see a situation where you're like, "unless the sex is dynamite or they have blackmail on you, I have no idea why this is happening."

[u/Adventurous-Flow5390 → u/Excellent_Law6906]

Dude, yeah lol. Blackmail would make a million times more sense than some of these situations.

And like, if it’s the sex, how does it even get to that point for that to be a thing? Lmao.

[u/EDCknightOwl → u/Adventurous-Flow5390]

maybe she didnt want to work. im a lazy guy and would love to be a SAHD

[u/Adventurous-Flow5390 → u/EDCknightOwl]

But she did? Lol. That was why she moved back home, because dude was weird and controlling and felt threatened when she would try to go work. And like, literally anybody could’ve said that would happen after knowing the guy for a few minutes, he looks and acts like what you would expect a discord mod to look and act like.. To give an exact visualization lol…

I agree though, that’s not a lifestyle I would mind either. But I don’t think most of the type A personality people really fit that bill lol.

[u/EDCknightOwl → u/Adventurous-Flow5390]

so she moved back home,I must have missed this detail. also, maybe the sex was good (he's not good looking but hung like a horse and financial secure and he probably sweet talked her the way she like) she simply overlooked everything else.l.all the other red flags. and eventually she woke up amd realized hes a shitty person after he did X Y and Z. gotta get with someone who has a good soul. It's easy to tell once you meet the people that they keep close to them

[u/Adventurous-Flow5390 → u/EDCknightOwl]

Yeah I guess I didn’t say that before, I thought I had lol.

You’d have to know her to know how much none of that matters to her. A famous musician dude literally wrote her a fucking guitar ballad love song once, and she brings it up in conversation in a “the fuck was this dude thinking” type of way.. So it definitely wasn’t sweet talk or purely money. And I’m not going to speak much on other things, but I personally know it’s not that either lmao.

I think the only reason she came back was because of the work thing. She still says the dude was her soulmate and people have to be like “NO that dude is a fucking scrub, don’t even think about it.” A normally very sweet, but VERY butch lesbian friend of ours extremely seriously said that she would break his face if she ever saw him again lmao.. that’s the kind of hate this person gets from almost everybody but her .. lol..

It’s just so confusing in so many ways lmao. If it was just something like that I probably could understand it. So yeah, I just offer empathy and try to stay out of it. But part of me is just like 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

[u/FeralBanshee → u/Adventurous-Flow5390]

This is true, but looks mean nothing when it comes to being treated properly. I’ve been very attractive the majority of my life and dated both very gorgeous guys and a few “unattractive” ones - the unattractive ones were the worst over time! I am with someone very hot and have been for 14 years and while he’s flawed he is a very good human being who does the best he can. Of course we are both late 40s and looks change but he’s still always the best looking guy in the room, and I’m usually the most attractive woman, even now. Being attractive has not gotten me anywhere in life, really, and I rather regret not using it more to my advantage.

[u/Adventurous-Flow5390 → u/FeralBanshee]

lol. Yeah some people who are unattractive are bitter and mean about it. I don’t think that’s very much a secret. That’s not everybody though, and I just meant that when you’re super hot generally you have more options and are more likely to choose based on who somebody is rather than what they look like.

But obviously there’s plenty of hot people who end up with other hot people lol. That’s pretty common as well.

Hey dude, go get it. No hate there lmao. We gotta use what we can, as long as it’s not outright manipulative and harming others, at least.

[u/FeralBanshee → u/Adventurous-Flow5390]

Yeah that’s not my style.

[u/Adventurous-Flow5390 → u/FeralBanshee]

That’s good! Probably means that your partner chose well as well.

Best wishes and hope you two enjoy life