r/MadeMeSmile • u/_FIZZRIX_ • 13d ago

Wholesome Moments Some of the best feelings in the world.💖😭✨

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47.0k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

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4.2k

u/themanyfaceddogs 13d ago

Just me or was three just chilling with a random touching them so much?

1.6k

u/MrsMonkey_95 13d ago

That‘s what I thought first, but then I remembered it‘s actually fight-flight-freeze response. Media has done some damage ignoring „freeze“ for decades

781

u/-nom-de-guerre- 13d ago

It’s fight, flight, freez, *and* fawn

everyone forgets fawn; and it is associated with severe childhood abuse and trauma

177

u/TerminallyBlonde 13d ago

Yep, my main response is fawn and I could be terrified but smiling too. The mindset is "I'll show my belly so they are pleased and don't hurt me" and I'll do mostly anything to keep them happy to keep myself safe. It's basically trauma teaching you that your safety is dependent on other people being happy with your behavior.

234

u/LukewarmJortz 13d ago

The girls that were smiling until they realized who it was were defo fawning.

88

u/Consistent_Smell_880 13d ago

it’s dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge

Everyone forgets that if you can dodge a hammer, you can dodge a wrench

3

u/TallDarkandWTF 13d ago

And if you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball

2

u/TenshiS 13d ago

It's stop, drop, rock and roll

Everyone forgets you can rock AND roll

6

u/Neutral_Buttons 13d ago

Fawn is so insidious. I have a nasty fawn response and I hate it so much.

2

u/ragweed 13d ago

I'm a freeze and fawner but when some unknown has put their hands on me from behind, like a waitress who's overly friendly, I'm not smiling about it.

1

u/Testing_things_out 13d ago

What is fawn?

15

u/BouncinBabyBubbleBoy 13d ago

I've also heard it refer to as "appease," but fawn fits better with the other 'f's. 

Basically, it's having an automatic reaction of trying to be kind, funny, or charming to prevent potential harm. I learned from a really early age that if you can make the big scary person laugh or tell them what they want to hear, they are far less likely to hurt you, and you're more likely to get your needs met.

It's almost like a dog showing its belly and grooming a potentially threatening dog.

3

u/bullitt-rider 13d ago

acquiesce would be a court room description

It's generally fight flight friend freeze flop

-1

u/bullitt-rider 13d ago

Survival.

Fight flight friend freeze flop is the more accepted description.

-8

u/Mertoot 13d ago

Some BS these mfs made up about the staged clips above lmao

6

u/Shartiflartbast 13d ago

To think you could have just googled instead of looking like an ignorant prick.

-4

u/Mertoot 13d ago

Nah I just felt like p*ssing on this thread because nobody bothered to explain it for those of us who didn't know

Either post the definition or get out instead of making us google stuff

5

u/CalmBeneathCastles 13d ago

It's psychology, Kevin! Look it up!

0

u/enron2big2fail 13d ago

They don't "forget" it really, they just don't know about it. When the framework was developed in the early 1900s it was just fight or flight, which I think got culturally snapshotted as a phrase. Freeze got added next I think, and by then the seal was broken to add all sorts of things (which is good, it's good to have a more detailed view of acute stress responses). Now people will talk about the 7F's of fight, flight, freeze, fawn, flop, flood, and flock.

0

u/bullitt-rider 13d ago

Fight flight friend freeze flop

0

u/GamingWithPanda 13d ago

Fib is in there too. 

0

u/Late-Button-6559 13d ago

So fawn isn’t an instinct? It’s a learned behaviour?

1

u/RosebushRaven 13d ago

A bit of both, but yes, more learned than instinctual.

-1

u/Unique_Self_5797 13d ago

My older daughter falls into fawn whenever her sister throws a tantrum about something, and I'm actively trying to help her out of that, well trying to help both of them learn to stay in their window of tolerance, but that shit is hard to teach 7&8 year olds(and younger when we first started trying) because their window is so small to begin with.

But for some people their nervous system just defaults to certain responses from a super young age. My younger one kind of evenly fight or flight when she's in a hyperaroused state, but freeze when shes in a hypoaroused state(keeping things simplistic). My older one is pure fight when she's in a hyperaroused state and evenly freeze/fawn when hypoaroused.

My personal responses tend to be flight and fawn, and I did not have an abusive childhood, let alone a severely abusive one. I've just always tended towards fawn.

350

u/_autumnwhimsy 13d ago

yeah 1000000% i don't think people realize that this is indeed TERRIFYING until you turn around and process the random man that is kissing you on the cheek is your partner who you don't think it gonna be there. im sure these women thought they were just getting assaulted on camera for a second.

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u/MyNameIsJakeBerenson 13d ago

And the people accusing them of smiling about someone else touching them don’t get it

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u/DigNitty 13d ago

And they're also out with friends. They see their friends not reacting and know that something is up.

21

u/forkball 13d ago

This is most true of the woman who got kissed on the top of her head.

She's like is someone on my head what's up but her friends are filming and not reacting like a weirdo is touching her so she figured out it can only be one person.

26

u/CaptainABC123 13d ago

Interesting point. Their friends are probably smiling which is inconsistent with what is happening. One system says freak out and the other says everything is fine.

Also, I suspect these women smelled their partner before seeing him.

-1

u/photosendtrain 13d ago

Or it's just not that deep.

103

u/Ivory-Robin 13d ago

I was gonna say— these videos show a lot of classic Fawning responses. Reactions like this are taught to women as we grow up to keep us safe.

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u/Small_Article_3421 13d ago

Probably why she literally started crying the moment she figured out it was her bf and not a random stranger. Pro tip, making your partner think she’s being sexually assaulted is never a nice thing to do.

8

u/tocahontas77 13d ago

I don't think that's what these men were trying to do at all. They were just trying to surprise their partners.

Men don't realize what women's experiences are. How could they, when their experience is so much different? So I guarantee this thought didn't cross the mind of any one of these men.

1

u/6-foot-under 13d ago

I think that she assumed that it was another friend joining the party late. Remember, it's a birthday party.

1

u/TGin-the-goldy 13d ago

It’s very much staged

1

u/tocahontas77 13d ago

Don't forget "fawn"!

1

u/Naschka 13d ago

Girl 4 is far more sus, she is absolutely fine swinging with a random person hugging her from behind and you know she did because it took her a while after starting to to show a shock.

1

u/razor330 13d ago

You’re giving them too much credit #3 genuinely knew it was her man by the way he was kissing her. #4 is clearly open to cheating as long as it’s abroad.

0

u/d_ippy 13d ago

I’m a freezer!

110

u/Time_Phone_1466 13d ago

Yeah my wife would come out swinging. I surprised her sort of like this once and she chose violence immediately and asked questions later.

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u/MrsMonkey_95 13d ago

That‘s „fight“ and most in the video showcased „flight“. Number 3 pulled the „freeze“ out of her hat

20

u/owlbi 13d ago

Right? Fighting would be appropriate for someone randomly caressing you in public.

These videos made me a bit depressed (assuming they're real and not staged) because they show the default female reaction to unwanted physical conflict is to deflect with a smile. Society has taught women they aren't safe enough to forcefully reject unwanted physical contact.

7

u/Acheloma 13d ago

One time my partner and I were at a concert at a club and he went to use the bathroom. When he came back he approached me from behind and put his arm around my waist/hip. I immediately elbowed him super hard in the stomach and was about to stomp his foot when I finally realized it was him.

He conceded that he didnt think that one through; he had already seen me elbow men who got too handsy in the past so he really should have known better lol

3

u/Hell_Child 13d ago

I was taking a shower when my husband came home early one day, and he was shocked by how close he came to having my shampoo covered thumbs in his eyes when he thought it would be funny to yank back the shower curtain. He hasn't done it since. Matter of fact he announces himself every time he's had to come into the bathroom when I'm showering ever since then, even when I know he's home.

889

u/Kalimah18 13d ago

Because staged.

268

u/Plus-Professional-84 13d ago

The textures feel off… my gut says it’s AI

114

u/AXEMANaustin 13d ago

I think some of them were ran through an ai filter.

49

u/Aguita9x 13d ago

Yeah, a lot social media sites have started to automatically put the AI filter on videos supposedly to better the quality but it just makes it look worse most of the time.

29

u/AXEMANaustin 13d ago

I think it's just to get people used to it.

20

u/Annanymuss 13d ago

Sadly I belive is to make every video real or not to look AI so no one would truly recognize AI videos anymore

15

u/CosmoKram3r 13d ago

I run my videos through a water filter. All my /r/HydroHomies love it.

14

u/Fabulous-Beach9027 13d ago

that last guy looks uncanny.

2

u/AU5T1N 13d ago

It's something called video upscaling and its been a thing for a while. Personally I think it always looks terrible when videos get upscaled to higher resolutions/quality and it makes everything look weird. Video compression and encoding is also done automatically by social media websites to optimize video size, and it can also mess with how the videos look.

1

u/trixtah 13d ago

Had me in the first half

1

u/Plus-Professional-84 13d ago

Didn’t know that was a thing

1

u/AXEMANaustin 13d ago

It's stupid, so so stupid.

16

u/RandumbStoner 13d ago

Your gut is wrong

47

u/Rope_slingin_champ 13d ago

Think its the taco bell?

7

u/KoalaTHerb 13d ago

I laughed so hard at this. I wish I had more votes

2

u/gooeymcgooberson 13d ago

Never trust your gut. It cant think

2

u/PlasticExplanation14 13d ago

I thought the second couple kinda have the same face....

2

u/Penguinz-Can-Fly 13d ago

How on earth do people actually think this is AI? AI isn't even remotely close to generating natural human reaction, which this entire video is.

1

u/LostAndContent 13d ago

This is the new "I don't know, looks photoshopped to me" no shade or anything like that, just an interesting comparison my brain made.

1

u/RareBar94 13d ago

Their facial expressions are very odd. This video is AI

1

u/CalmBeneathCastles 13d ago

I can't believe it's not aliens!

0

u/Why-so-delirious 13d ago

I'd say AI as well: I can't spot anything super wrong with it... except the cut.

The cut happens after ten seconds of video. And AI models generally generate ten seconds of video per 'chunk'. Cutting at exactly 10 seconds is a pretty clear sign of AI.

Clip after that has a suspiciously-placed cut at 10 seconds in, as well....

2

u/Plus-Professional-84 13d ago

We are so cooked

-1

u/iFckRedit 13d ago

It’s called makeup bro

3

u/Modokon 13d ago

But Ser, surely not! Not on the Internets.

12

u/ankerverse 13d ago

Omg, really?! My reaction to finding out this is staged is shock. Like how each of these women were so naturally shocked when they saw their boyfriend and didn't already have a canned response.

SHOCKED, I SAY!

2

u/Corregidor 13d ago

The first two seemed genuine, but the rest... Not so much

1

u/-sensory_overlord- 13d ago

I found the first one to be off too, if I feel a hand on my back and someone getting in my face I’m not going to keep eating

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u/Wulfgrimm720 13d ago

She looked confused and shocked, not chill

39

u/NoxTempus 13d ago

Insane that anyone could read that face and think she was chill.

She's shocked, uncomfortable, and looking to her friends for reassurance/help. She literally recoils when he kisses her on the head.

2.8k upvotes (at time of this comment).

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u/gulligaankan 13d ago

Freeze or flee, some just freeze

1

u/bullitt-rider 13d ago

Fight flight friend freeze flop or acquiesce

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u/Hansemannn 13d ago

Many freezes when I a bit of a panic like that

90

u/vonage91 13d ago

I feel like a couple of these were in abusive relationships

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u/tessellation__ 13d ago

Yeah, like look at me on a birthday trip with my friends and then someone just flies halfway across the world to butt in and be the only guy in my girls trip

3

u/Just-Like-My-Opinion 13d ago

The only time I've had a bf surprise travel to show up unannounced, it was an abusive relationship. So yeah. I got that feeling on some of these, too.

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u/GuardingxCross 13d ago

Its okay because he was the most handsome of the 3 so he gets passes to be creepy /s

20

u/RandumbStoner 13d ago

Lmfao Reddit when someone is in a healthy relationship

"I bet they're abusive!"

"Creepy af"

"They're cheating!"

You don't have to live life so negative

7

u/TonguePunchUrButt 13d ago

That's the problem - most of them haven't had or aren't in healthy relationships.

18

u/Chance_Vegetable_780 13d ago

Very strange comment imo. Got that vibe in 10 seconds of smiles and emotions did you

4

u/Talidel 13d ago

It's Reddit, so it is depressingly not all that surprising as a comment.

The girl cried when she saw him! Look how sad she is!?

0

u/aRandomBlock 13d ago

weird ass comment

0

u/TGin-the-goldy 13d ago

Just bad acting

3

u/KatyPerrysBootyWhole 13d ago

She looks extremely uncomfortable and then it cuts to her crying. I don’t want to imagine why she reacts that way but I don’t think it’s because she’s chill about being touched by randos

3

u/TahoeLT 13d ago

I found almost all of them disturbing - I am a guy and if someone randomly grabbed me from behind like that it might end up with them hurt. The fact that women apparently feel like they can't react to random contact like this is sad and pisses me off.

3

u/emerg_remerg 13d ago

As a woman, i would 100% stay calm and chill until i could find out more info, she was also reading her friend's reactions to guage her level of concern.

Especially the one that gets grabbed around the neck from behind, you can see the danger-assessment run across her face

2

u/Cloudyflowersnap 13d ago

out of curiosity, are you a man?

4

u/StuartMcNight 13d ago

And fourth was VEEEERY happy about it even before realizing

7

u/failed_asian 13d ago

She was celebrating her bday at a restaurant, it looks like. She might’ve thought it was one of her expected friends just arriving.

3

u/KittiWasabi 13d ago

Agreed - there is no way that my first reaction would not be like Sandra Bullock's self defense strategy in Ms. Congeniality

3

u/lastbeer 13d ago

I came to the comments specifically for this, so no, not just you.

2

u/Gumbercules81 13d ago

A couple were like .... ok this is nice

2

u/Tondamandino 13d ago

Or maybe… she knows how her man smells/ aura

1

u/Atllola 13d ago

This, she probably immediately realized who else would do that, and if it were someone else, then her friends/famiky at the table would’ve reacted differently, abd she would’ve seen it on their faces.

1

u/JennyferSuper 13d ago

In fairness I do the same thing when unexpectedly touched by strangers. I freeze and can’t move until I fully process what is happening and who is making it happen and what I need to do to make it stop without being on the receiving end of violence.

1

u/ermagerdcernderg 13d ago

They see their friends smiling and recording them, which adds to the fawning response

1

u/hammertime2009 13d ago

I thought the third ones (white shirt) reaction was a little off…. Or delayed. I know everyone reacts a little differently to surprises but her crying/emotional reaction was odd and she was just accepting the kisses on the head and cheek before she even could see his face and then she never kissed back or showed any affection back.

1

u/Arvandor 13d ago

I mean, I had a friend recognize me at a Costco while my wife and I were sitting down in the cafeteria area eating and he came and sat on my lap before I could even see him. My brain was very much "wtf someone's about to die," but if someone had been filming me I doubt it would even look like mild surprise. Maybe a raised eyebrow. I know too at a work thing my wife had someone up the ladder from her (another female) come up from behind her and caress her in a way that was making everyone watching a bit uncomfortable, and my wife just froze very much like these women did.

1

u/Arvandor 13d ago

Some of it is just panic freeze, and some people just don't mind being touched so long as it isn't aggressive. Some also just assume it's someone they know or them being mistaken for someone else that the rando knows and just assume it's at worst playful mistaken identity. I've been groped or snuggled up to from behind a few times by people who thought I was someone else, and it's never really bothered me, especially since they were mortified afterwards. It's never seemed lecherous or malicious, and that intent makes a big difference.

1

u/MonitorOk3031 13d ago

This. Any man that has “surprised” me from behind has received an elbow to the nearest available body part.

1

u/nautika 13d ago

She looks like she knew who it would be and overwhelmed with emotions.

The 4th one seems friendly. She embraced back without even knowing who it was

1

u/baltarius 13d ago

And then they act surprised when they find out who it is, like they got caught doing something wrong. Also feels like it happened a lot before for most of the women.

1

u/TheMace808 13d ago

Would you act aggressive if someone ahd their arms around you? Women a lot of times have to watch their reactions to people doing weird stuff to them lest they have someone reacting aggressively

1

u/IntrepidHero42 13d ago

I felt bad for her, she was kinda frozen but was looking at the reaction of her friends and was seeing there was no danger, so was kinda confused.

The blonde in the middle of the video, on the other hand, was actively enjoying it before she realized it was her man. In that one I feel bad for the man.

1

u/Honyuuruinoore 13d ago

Number three just froze up. She seems to be the type to freeze up when there is danger and she is scared, instead of her brain choosing fight or flight. Despite that she had the most sincere reaction.

Number 4 on the other hand was fine with a man grabbing her from behind and even felt ecstatic, before even realising it was her man. In fact, she even looked a bit shocked and perhaps disappointed internally after realising it was her man. She looks like a cheater in my opinion.

1

u/Smingowashisnameo 13d ago

I was wondering if she’s on some serious meds

1

u/BearelyKoalified 13d ago

what about 4 though, she started holding their arms and smiling before realizing who it was then the real shock came in.

1

u/holyshitbraah 11d ago

Nah screw the excuses number 3 and 4 were red flags for sure

1

u/SufficientHippo3281 10d ago

If you look at her eyes you can see she's terrified. She's a beautiful woman, I bet she's been experiencing unwanted touches her whole life.

2

u/Short_Brick_1960 13d ago

Yeah. Feels like it is staged, right? But that can't be

21

u/MrsMonkey_95 13d ago

Just freeze response, you can see on her face that she is most likely uncomfortable, she just stops moving altogether, even takes a while before she can override the freeze to turn and have a look

1

u/TGin-the-goldy 13d ago

I can’t believe how many people think this is real and not staged

0

u/Pure_Werewolf0101 13d ago

Pretty sure its all AI

0

u/razor330 13d ago

How to spot a cheater.

0

u/satuurnian 13d ago

That one didn’t sit well w me

-3

u/Open-Industry-8396 13d ago

I agree. It seems like they're comfortable with that type of behavior. Red flag.

-3

u/Exciting-Music843 13d ago

Chilling, she was loving the attention!

-4

u/stevendidntsay 13d ago

They were expecting someone else

0

u/UnluckyCountry2784 13d ago

Made me think those were staged. They’re so put together too.