Hi, 28F. Been with my current partner for 11 years. Have 2 kids. I’m doing my best, a lot of times giving in just for his pleasure and not necessarily my own.
For the last 5-6 years I have had the worst time dealing with no desire to be physically intimate. I “give in” 2-3 times a week, which to me is pretty average for two married, working adults with a family.
My husband insists that we are not doing it enough. He will often times exaggerate the gaps between intimacy. We sometimes are intimate 1-2 days apart but then go another 3-5 days with nothing and then the cycle starts again. But often times he will say things like “it’s been 3-4 weeks” which just adds to my frustration and anxiety around intimacy. I don’t even think there has been a week that lapses in between, other than the obvious menstrual cycles, which even then, he is requesting some form of pleasure.
I’ve told him once or twice about my lack of interest and he almost just disregarded it, and has no concern about how I’m feeling even when I feel I’m trying my best to put my feelings and thoughts aside to get him off.
I guess I’m hoping for feedback on this, good or bad. I just don’t know how to make him feel better about it without disregarding my own feelings.