I do kinship placement for my two teenage siblings. We have trial in just over two weeks for adoption.. I feel lost, my job is to keep them safe, even if it means from each other. My heart hurts and I I know what I need to do and that I’m not equipped for the help that one of them needs. I’ve tried everything for over a year now and a bombshell just came out that forces me to make a decision. Unfortunately, that decision means separation.

How am I supposed to protect them if protecting means hurting them in the process?

If you're raising a child while their parent is incarcerated, and sports fees are getting hard to manage, I wanted to share something that might help. Put Me In! is a nonprofit that helps pay for youth sports for kids with an incarcerated parent: registration and league fees, equipment, uniforms, camps, tournament fees. Your child picks the sport and team, and we help cover the cost. If you're in the U.S. and this sounds useful, email [hello@putmein.org](mailto:hello@putmein.org) and we'll explain how it works. I run it, so I'm happy to answer questions here too. If this isn't the right place for it, tell me and I'll take it down.

Needs new vacuum. Waiting on landlord

I’m hoping some of you might be able to offer a bit of advice, reassurance or just share your own experiences because I’m really struggling emotionally at the moment. I’m the oldest of 6 siblings. I have 2 adult siblings and 3 younger siblings who are 16 and under. I’ve had no relationship with my dad for almost 3 years. Our relationship had been very damaged throughout my teenage years and into adulthood, and eventually I made the decision to step away. My 7 year old son and the sister directly below me have also had no relationship with my dad for around the same length of time, and my dad has never met her 2 year old daughter.
When my mum left my dad, he unfortunately became very controlling about the children and, over time, alienated the younger 4 children. My mum now only has a relationship with my youngest sibling, since he came to live with me, (despite trying to maintain a relationship with the others, their thoughts and feelings were taken into account during court proceedings),as well as myself and sister who are no longer in contact with dad. My three youngest siblings were on the Child Protection Register for around a year before my youngest brother, who is 12, came to live with me in July under a temporary kinship foster arrangement. I’m really struggling with something I hadn’t anticipated: how do you celebrate the birthdays and special occasions of people you personally have no relationship with, when the child in your care still loves them and wants to celebrate them? When my younger siblings were living at home with dad, I always made the effort with their birthdays and Christmas. I never did the same for my dad once our relationship broke down, although I would give the children money so that they could choose and buy presents for him themselves. Now that my youngest brother is living with me, I suddenly feel like I have to put that thought and effort back into celebrating my dad again, and honestly, I’m finding it really difficult. Today is my other two younger siblings’ 16th birthday. My brother is seeing them tomorrow through arrangements made with social services, so I’ve spent the day baking cakes for him to take with him. He’ll be able to sing happy birthday with them, give them presents and have that sibling time together, which I genuinely think is lovely for him. I would never want to take that away from him. But emotionally, I’m struggling with it far more than I expected. I miss my other siblings terribly. I’m hopeful that one day we’ll be able to rebuild those relationships, and that gives me some comfort. But when it comes to my dad, if I’m being completely honest, I would quite happily never speak to him again. Because my brother now lives with me, we have to communicate through AppClose, and I hate how involved in my dad’s life I suddenly feel again. It’s bringing up a lot of feelings that I thought I’d dealt with years ago. My brother is seeing dad on Wednesday, arranged through social services, as his birthday is Sunday. Again, I completely support my brother having that relationship and being able to celebrate his birthday with dad. He’ll be taking presents and a cake to celebrate the same with him as he does our siblings. I want him to be able to do that without feeling caught in the middle. But how do I do that without hurting myself in the process? Do I just need to accept that this is particularly difficult because it’s the first time in almost 3 years that I’ve had to navigate birthdays and occasions like this again? Does it get easier with time? And how do you separate your own feelings towards someone from the relationship your child/sibling in your care has with them? Whenever my brother speaks about dad, I can recall good memories with him and speak positively about him, which doesn’t affect me in a negative way. I know this probably sounds incredibly selfish, and I feel guilty even writing it because ultimately this is about my brother and what’s best for him. I want to be able to support him wholeheartedly. But I’m also finding that this is affecting me quite negatively at the moment, and I need to look after myself too so that I can be the best possible carer for my son and my brother. I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who has been through something similar. How did you manage it? Did it get easier? And how did you protect your own emotional wellbeing while still making sure the child in your care could maintain those relationships? Thanks in advance for any advice or guidance😅

Looking for grandparents raising grandchildren and other kinship caregivers in California (LA metro preferred).

Free dual screen (~20 min): 1) California-relevant benefits shortlist for kinship households — navigation help only; we do not file claims 2) Fall-risk home check for an older adult in the household when applicable

You keep the write-up. No pitch first. Optional short problem interview after if you want.

Module A: https://form.typeform.com/to/Rl0i2lpp Module B: https://form.typeform.com/to/WMQQLjPu

So we are fostering my sisters 4 kids as they go through their court hearings and i just feel so pushed aside by my parents and kind of just like a babysitter they only want around when needed. I feel like my parents dont really care as much for me anymore but i dont want to say anything bc its not their fault the kids are all 4 under 4 and it is hard but like idk i just feel so pushed aside and unwanted atm idk what to do the kids show me more love than my parents these past few weeks i’m 17 so yeah i sound abit stupid saying all this but its just so much! I feel so guilty being excited for it to all be over and the kids to go back to their parents because i do love them so so much id do anytging for them but i’m so burnt out and just ugh idk

hi guys, me and my mother have gotten temporary custody of an 18 month old. i’m only 16 and my mother is 59 and disabled so she struggles taking care of her sometimes. i work so when i’m not at work i’m helping take care of her. to make a long story short we got her because her parents weren’t taking proper care of her and their house was COVERED in fleas and bedbugs and they never had any food. everything was going great until we started letting her have visitation with her parents. now after she sees them when we get home she won’t eat, she’s mean, she won’t sleep and she throws complete and total fits. she’s completely fine while she’s with them though. is there any way we can fix this? it’s tearing me and my mom up. we feel so bad. neither of us are getting any sleep because of it and we don’t know what to do. i’m sorry if this post doesnt make any sense i just need some help or at least know if this happened to anyone else.

Hi everyone,
I’m reaching out to the community for some urgent assistance. The Department of Human Resources recently contacted me to take in my younger sister as a kinship placement so she can leave foster care.This came up on very short notice. I just recently moved into a new apartment, and unfortunately, all of my savings went directly toward my move-in costs, deposit, and initial rent. To officially bring my sister home, I need to pass an immediate home inspection to ensure the space is fully ready and safe for her.I’ve put together a privacy-protected Amazon Wish List that includes basic emergency safety and home setup items required for the inspection, essential everyday needs for her, and a few of her favorite snacks to help make this quick transition as comfortable as possible for her.
Any help—whether purchasing an item off the list or upvoting for visibility—would mean the world to us and help bring my sister home safe.

Wish List Link: https://www.amazon.com/registries/gl/guest-view/AW73W4SVI033?ref_=cm_sw_r_apin_ggr-subnav-share_SCSR8NHTDC15M9NM7RWD&language=en-US
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and for supporting our family during this transition.

I am 19 and my 21 yr old boyfriends little sister has a horrible home life. Today we made the decision to call CPS and tell them about the constant verbal abuse, drug abuse, neglect, etc. that goes on in the home which has his little sister (14) and two adult females and a male and constantly has people going in and out to do drugs. We called, explained the situation, and they said “well, this isn’t something I’m gonna send someone out for. Just try to talk to her mom and ask if you guys can keep her for the weekend and on Monday they’ll screen the report and decide if they wanna send someone out.”

This is so frustrating to me. I just told them that her mom is forcing her out of the house so that they can do drugs and this male that lives with them has multiple times invaded her privacy. She shares a room and bed with her mom, was kept out of school for a month last year because her mom kept calling her out so she could stay home, and her moms bf is currently out on bond for an armed robbery (possibly party to the crime) and is in and out of the house as well and consistently threatens her. This space is not safe.

We want to shoot for kinship placement. We have the room and finances. I was in kinship placement when I was around her age and I know how it feels. I want to give her a safe space and environment to have privacy and a sense of self.

Has anyone else been told they will screen the report and then still had a positive outcome? I guess I just need to hear some positive words and possibly advice. I am sorry if this isn’t the right place to post this. I’m not sure where else to ask.

Hey, so I posted on this about a year to a year and half ago about my little brother i was 16 he was 7 now im 17 and he is 8. Things didn’t work out. I don’t know how to start this without breaking down lowkey 😭. Soon after i posted my last post on here my mom ended up giving him to another family which resulted him to going into a group home which is what we (i guess mainly i did??) wanted to prevent in the first place. I dont want my mother seen had a bad person she just has her faults but she decided she wasnt capable enough to do it after i started working. Before i started working i was the one mainly caring for him honestly even when i didn’t have work. I kinda knew this was (i just didnt know if it was my past trauma scaring me) gonna happen i even told her before he came into the home that if i needed to take him in when im old enough and take care of him in the meantime i will. My mom tries she really does, its just that her own mental gets in the way causing her to be a bit selfish. My little brother is not her kid he is my fathers kid, and she let alot her feelings with my father get in the way and the fact he wasnt her kid? I dont know how to explain it better because i am still pissed even though im trying to understand. I dont want to vent to much on here so ill get to the point. So she went to court and she told them she wasnt able to keep him. And found another family that was close with his uncle. They couldnt keep him so they sent him to a group home right after adopting him too btw. I cant even imagine how he feels, im sure he was already so heartbroken seeing his own sister give him away. This wasn’t my idea at all btw but i cant control my mom and honestly im glad she saw she wasnt stable enough to keep him before anything could happen. But idk i thought there was improvement and everything was getting better with the situation. So i have no idea where he is or how he is doing. He use to tell me everything and i cant even hear his voice. I keep thinking if hes okay and if he has anyone to talk to when hes sad. I remember one of the last days before he left he had a nightmare and slept with me the rest of the night. He even stayed in my arms while he was awake the next morning and i was still asleep. I miss him sm. Does anyone know if i would be able to reach out to him. I also still plan on when im old enough and stable (have my own place, enough money, and mentally ready) honestly ill probably end up taking him in if i can when im around 18-19 because i dont want him in a group home where anything could happen. Ive had many friends and family in and out of grouphomes and heard some not good things. I was wondering if there are any tips now to help me prepare for that? I cant talk to my mom about this because we always end up fighting. Any advice on how to cope? I always feel guilty and idk i cant stop thinking on how he feels and how i messed up. I just really need help.

I'm hoping someone here has experience with Texas kinship care or the DFPS system. I've been raising my sister's three children in Texas for a little over a year. They came to live with me after a period of housing instability, and it has become clear that their mother is not going to be able to resume caring for them in the foreseeable future. She is currently unemployed, does not have stable housing, and is supportive of the children remaining with me. I attended a kinship care orientation, but they told me they only work with children who are already in the foster care system. I also filed a CPS report to explain the situation, hoping to learn if there was a pathway to formal kinship care, but it was screened out because the children are already safe in my home.

My question is: Has anyone successfully gone from an informal relative caregiver to becoming a verified kinship foster parent in Texas?

Im lost to what to do with my niece who is almost 15, lying, sending nude photos on internet to strangers, generally not doing right things. This is my sister who passed daughter, who was 6 when she died, i took her on because she was out of control and needed support. I have twice had to take her to police to report online grooming and when she moved here the deal was total social media ban until 16, may seem harsh but she is very immature and naive and how she got groomed in the first place. For the last few years she has had very little support or guidance at her home, neglected and then given a phone, this became her entire world and an addiction, absolutely no supervision and led to many issues with grooming, friendships and everything. She had started to skip school and running off with an older boy who then abused her. I try so very hard to trust her but she just has continued to lie to me and today I found she has a secret instagram account, when I read through some of the messages I was horrified to see the same things again. Im so at a loss of what to do, I have her on a waitlist for a paediatrician, I have her lined up for counselling, as I know she is desperately needing this, but just when I think she turning a corner some drama happens. She also wants to be loved so badly that she will say and do almost anything for attention, and becomes very attached/obsessed in a relationship. What do I do? Part of me wants to let her go back to her home but I am so worried about what will happen to her then, and I'd never forgive myself. Anyway there's probably no answer, thanks for reading this far if you have. I am silently crying whilst I write this, I'm just at a loss.

https://benkincare.etsy.com

My twin sister was recently hospitalized in Ohio and is now on life support. Her doctors have begun end-of-life paperwork and do not expect her to survive much longer, possibly no more than a week.

She has two children, ages 8 and 12. One child’s father is deceased, and the other child’s father is currently incarcerated. We have no other immediate family who can care for them long term.

The children are currently staying with an elderly great-aunt in Clark County, Ohio. She has made it clear that this is temporary and that I need to take them as soon as possible. I had initially waited so the children could remain near their mother, but with school starting soon and my sister’s condition worsening, I want to bring them to live with me in San Diego, California, so I can provide stability and get them connected with mental health support. I am going out there this week for two weeks.

Before my sister became unable to communicate, we had discussed that I would care for the children if her health worsened. I have no children of my own and never planned on becoming a parent, but I know they would be safest and most stable with me, and I am prepared to do whatever is necessary to support them.

I am completely overwhelmed by the legal process and cannot seem to get clear guidance. I have contacted legal aid and tried to speak with someone while I was in Ohio earlier this month, but my calls have not been returned. Because the children are currently considered “safe with family,” no one seems to view the situation as urgent.

I am hoping someone can help me understand:

-What paperwork is needed for me to bring the children from Ohio to California?

-Can my sister sign anything while she is still alive if she is able to communicate or provide consent?

-Should I pursue temporary custody, legal guardianship, or another type of caregiver authorization?

-Would the case need to be filed in Clark County, Ohio, before the children move?

-How does the incarcerated father’s parental status affect the process?

-Is this something that requires an emergency custody filing?

-What type of attorney or agency should I contact if legal aid will not respond?

Thank you!

I’ve been trying to find a sub Reddit that fits - is this the place?? Thanks!

Back in February of 2022, our nephew (3 months old at the time) came to us for kinship placement and we had him until December of 2023. After reunification, we weren’t allowed any contact until July of 2024. Since then, we have had him every weekend and every time he gets picked up, he has a full blown meltdown and cries for up to an hour sometimes. He asks me every weekend if he can live with us ☹️

We have tried talking about his mom picking him up from when we first pick him up, we’ve tried telling him a little bit before, we’ve tried not telling him at all.. it’s the same outcome no matter what. I literally feel sick every time she’s coming to pick him up. I was hoping that over time it would get easier but it’s still absolutely heartbreaking for everyone.

Has anyone experienced this? If so, how did you navigate the situation? I’m open to any advice anyone may have to offer.

Does it drive anyone batty that you have to deal with people that you would never want to know exist because of kinship. I can deal with my sister to an extent and because, even if our relationship will never be mended , I want her to get better for her sons. But the bio dad and his parents are such trash, along with a family friend, who even via text carries such dark energy.

I thought they would be somewhat happy or at ease with my decision to allow a visit with their grandkid, my nephew’s cousin, because he had no record and he is innocent in this situation. However I’m asking for a third party friend to be there because it makes me comfortable and if I am having to jump through various hoops to prove that I’m a safe person then they can at least meet me halfway on this.

And my nephew’s dad has a super concerning criminal history but I’m the bad guy? Am I in bizzaro world? And he has yet to contact me at all about his son. Not that I’m upset about it. I just find it so weird.

Taking in family comes with a mountain of paperwork you didn't sign up for — visits, appointments, school stuff, meds, and every expense you're hoping to get reimbursed. I couldn't find a tool that wasn't locked to a specific agency, so I made my own.

It keeps everything on your phone (no account, nothing uploaded) and turns any date range into a clean PDF for a caseworker or court in one tap, plus a CSV of expenses/mileage for taxes. It also tracks meds with reminders and logs calls/texts for when you're documenting contact.

I'm the developer, and honestly I want to know if this fits kinship situations specifically or if I've built it too "foster-agency" shaped. What's the most frustrating part of the record-keeping for you?