r/InfluencerLounge • u/RuralBohemian • 1d ago
Mom Influencers and their special needs children.
I have a child who has special needs, so I understand to an extent the confusion, isolation, and despair. I do. But that’s what support groups, FB groups of parents of kids with the same condition, maybe mental health care for yourself is for. But I cannot understand a mother who posts her child’s worst moments online for content, interactions, and money. Seeing that “send a gift” overlay on the photo of her injury really just makes the point loud and clear who this is really for. The only person I feel sorrier for than her son is that poor aide who got one small mention and probably continued to deal with this for hours.
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u/MJFife 1d ago
I have type 1 diabetes so a lot of the “family” T1D pages come up for me on social media and I HATE THEM. So much!!! These little kids having every vulnerable moment of their chronic disease documented for the universe to see. I watched a video of a kid having a severe low and I cried. So thankful my mom wasn’t shoving a camera in my face every time she checked my blood sugar 😭 they all say they’re “raising awareness” but it’s just for the parents to get attention via their kid’s illness.
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u/lizardgal10 1d ago
It’s the worst! I follow some ADULTS who post chronic illness/disability stuff about their own conditions and am constantly getting recommended medically complex/special needs kids. Somebody needs to study that variety of influencer. So many of these kids are being shown in incredibly vulnerable moments, and many aren’t really capable of understanding that they’ve being posted. Even the older ones who act on board with it the “inspiration porn” vibes are strong.
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u/bthks 1d ago
I am learning sign language for fun, so I follow a bunch of Deaf creators on social media but the algorithm has decided to feed me stuff about medically complex/disabled kids as well and it drives me up a fucking wall. I don't want to hear the latest setback in your 13-year-old daughter's struggled with incontinence AND I BET SHE DOESN'T ME TO HEAR IT EITHER
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u/Titaniumchic 1d ago
My son has a genetic disorder that we only recently became aware of.
He has an assortment of health issues - nothing life limiting (if we do things right) just quality of life limiting.
I tried to join a couple groups…. On fb. Bad idea…. Everything is horrible, everyone’s unhappy, everything is wretched.I noped out of those groups
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u/SmartPomegranate4833 1d ago
You’d wonder how much awareness they’d be interested in raising if there was no monetary gain.
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u/Sharp_Skirt_7171 21h ago
Right?! How about fundraising for children's hospitals, non profits dedicated to improving the lives of people with specific disabilities, or anything remotely connected with the disease they claim to be raising awareness for? I mean, anything other than over sharing on the internet for money.
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u/Kwellies 18h ago
That would be such a trigger for me. 😭 My child was diagnosed with Type 1 9 months ago. He recently had his first real low. He was feeling it and he was telling me while it was happening how scary it felt. I can’t imagine having the wherewithal to be recording my child going through that. All my focus was on getting his supplies, checking his blood sugar, holding him in my arms and comforting him. I can’t imagine how it must have felt to the child to not only be experiencing low blood sugar but also having it recorded.
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u/EatM0reBeans 14h ago
My kid has had type 1 for 8 years. We’ve had some very scary lows and I can’t imagine thinking of filming and sharing it. I can’t stand the type 1 parent influencers. It’s exploitative and the kids can’t reasonably consent to their medical info being put online forever.
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u/Desperate-Traffic667 1d ago
Her nonsense randomly shows up in my feed and both her and her ex/baby daddy are weird, toxic, and fame hungry. Her ex was an addict, he relapsed, and both him and her were documenting it all online. He'd be high af, making nonsensical posts. She'd be posting very private and personal moments about dealing with his relapse. I believe he's sober now, but they're both fucked in the head, I feel bad for their kids.
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u/tradhomewrecker 1d ago
I can't believe she's posting with her ex again, it's insane.
There's a whole snark subreddit for her + her ex, I went down a rabbit hole once
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u/clario6372 1d ago
What!!! Omg I did not know that. Deep cringe
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u/lizziemoo 22h ago
App he’s been clean for enough time they can be in the same room again or sum.
I don’t know the whole thing cos I don’t follow but her posts rock up in my feed so here we are 🫠😂2
u/Luna_bella96 21h ago
What’s it called?
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u/Ok-Dust-1181 20h ago
LauraClerySnark and StephenHiltonSnark
I’m apart of both, been following their nonsense for a while now. They both annoy the shit out of me. I feel so bad for their kids
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u/Just_Nebby 1d ago edited 16h ago
She annoyed me long before her son's diagnosis. She made a production out of a fridge falling on her.. recording herself in a neck brace on a stretcher. Idk how much was legit cuz I blocked her a long time ago..I just saw what others said. Apparently she was willing to give an update about her condition if you paid a subscription fee
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u/Icy_Sandwich866 1d ago
She is a nut always has been, back when she called herself HelenHorbath, and ran around screaming STEVEN!!!!
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u/tradhomewrecker 1d ago edited 1d ago
I have a level 3 autistic child who has headbutted me before at full force and it's hard to describe the strange mixture of emotion that follows. It's hard to explain to people that I can feel so much reactive anger towards an innocent child who doesn't know better and doesn't mean any harm. But the fact is, you're being violently attacked and it does make you feel things. Anger, sadness, a misplaced sense of betrayal and "why me, god?" All the complex emotions that are hard to be open about because you're afraid that someone will hear you and accuse you of not loving your child.
It is hard for me to understand why Laura puts this stuff out there. Though I'm open with others about what I deal with, I'm not that open and I don't air out the raw emotions for millions of followers...I found a therapist who takes parents of disabled children often and has an autistic son of her own and I talk to her about these things because she understands and it's private. I think all children deserve privacy. I think parents can talk about their experiences without specifying the particulars - especially when those particulars are the details of what is probably one of the worst days THEIR CHILD has ever had, too.
I will say, I read through the 23 comments that were here when I got here and some of you are really uninformed about autism, the public school system, and more. Some of you are seriously revealing your ignorance and you are exactly who I am talking about when I say I don't post much about my experiences because I'm afraid of being shamed. Read a fucking book. Leave your house and volunteer. Find out what the world looks like beyond your screen.
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u/WestBaseball492 1d ago
I just wanted to chime in and say thank you for sharing. I’m sorry people who are ignorant make you feel worse about your experience. It sounds like you a dealing with a tough situation but handling it well. Good job on being able to share your own struggles with those who understand without exploiting your child like this yucky influencer.
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u/tradhomewrecker 1d ago
Thank you. The years following my son's diagnosis were lonely and hard. I am glad I eventually found support but I wish that someone, anyone, would have told me that it was normal to need mental health support and here's how you get it. I had to find everything myself. Actually, this is also true of the supports I found for my autistic son.
None of it is easy. At least, not in America.
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u/Plus-Scratch1709 18h ago
Thanks for this comment. I think there are a lot of comments on this post that are missing the mark.
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u/Rose1982 1d ago
Yes!!!
My eldest has type 1 diabetes. I need and deserve support through that. But I don’t need to obliterate his privacy to achieve that. Type 1 parent groups are RIFE with parents all too happy to post half naked pics (to show off insulin pumps and CGMs) or pics of their kids in DKA in the hospital.
Imagine lying in a hospital bed, literally fighting for your life, feeling like utter shit and your mom is taking pics of you and posting them in groups with thousands of members saying things like “his fight is my fight” and other such banalities.
It drives me bonkers. You can join these groups and ask for support and vent in ways that don’t disrespect your child.
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u/nebraska_jones_ 1d ago
I have type 1 diabetes and I always joke to my mom that I’m gonna buy her one of those cringe “Type 1 Warrior Mama” bumper stickers lmao. She’s like “yeah no thanks”
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u/Rose1982 1d ago
I joke with my son about that too. He’s a middle schooler so it makes him cringe so hard 😂
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u/No-Solid-4255 1d ago
So gross. It gives Munchausen by proxy.
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u/Rose1982 1d ago
Yeah it’s a fine line. These kids do actually have a serious condition (and often other comorbidities) but there’s definitely a variety of parent (usually a mom) who makes their kid’s conditions their whole personality in an unhealthy way.
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u/No-Solid-4255 1d ago
You're right. I forgot that Munchausen means the illness is made up. I have a narcissistic mom and a little brother with T1D but he was diagnosed before social media was a thing. She for sure would have been one of those over sharers
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u/RuralBohemian 1d ago
I hate that so much. I’m a special needs parent which is different than the person actually dealing with the condition (my kid). Am I impacted? Yes. Is it actually my kid’s cross and not mine. Yes. Her fight is not MY fight. It’s actually not about me at all.
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u/tradhomewrecker 1d ago
I think talking about caregiver burnout and the overall challenges of being a caregiver is valid and okay. I think it would be fine if you referred to it as a "cross" and your "cross" can be different and distinct from your child's. There is a lot of pressure online and particularly on Reddit for parents of children with special needs to demonstrate how they're not one of those parents, one of those Autism Moms (TM), etc.
Our identities come from, in part, our life experiences. Being a parent of a child with special needs is a life-altering, continual experience. It's okay if being the mother of your child has become a major building block of your identity and is what you want to, or need to, talk about with others.
You do not need to ever fear centering yourself in your child's story. You won't. With parents who act that way, it never even crosses their mind to be introspective to that degree. They don't see their children as people, they see them as dolls.
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u/No-Animator6907 1d ago
I remember a post of hers saying she felt really sick and wasn’t doing well and it was a selfie of her with a full face of makeup looking completely fine…
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u/Willing_Mongoose1810 1d ago
I have a son with an extremely rare genetic disease (~50 known cases) and I know social media would eat that up! But as much as I would love the money to pay the mountains of medical bills we have, I value my sons privacy too much to do that to him
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u/colorful_withdrawl 19h ago
Seriously! My daughter has a slew of diagnosis but it doesnt make sense to be posting about them all. Every day is hard i also cant imagine finding time to make a long monetary post about my childs day
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u/Own_Stop_3502 1d ago
She wants validation and all of the "good job mama!!!!" comments. Privacy is important
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u/Vivid_Chemical_9417 11h ago
She and her ex husband use their children for content. Search them in Reddit, you will see all you need to know. They lie and make things up for attention because she took her abusive ex back and now she has ruined her career, and they will do anything for "content" especially complaining about her "non-verbal autistic" child. I hate how they label him.
Honestly it looks like makeup, did anyone see the "fridge fell on me" fiasco a month or two back? They have lost all their viewers so she will do anything for interactions of any kind. And don't get me started on her abuser, her ex husband that she is back with. Its a rabbit hole but seeing this? I could see her easily having her "nanny" who is a makeup artist, faking this for "engagement".
Look her up in Reddit. :)
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u/ACanWontAttitude 1d ago
She couldnt wait to take a photo of that. Probably gleeful she had something for 'content'
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u/FrequentTangerine846 16h ago
She LOVES when bad things happen so she can film/take photos of it. I have her blocked ever since the fridge fell on her and it became her whole personality.
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u/ohmichellemydarling 1d ago
She's doing this for attention and money.That is all I think it's unfair for her .To tell her special needs little boy worst moments.And post online this is forever on the internet.
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u/pinkfrostypenguins 1d ago
I think there is a big difference between documenting your experience here on Reddit where people are mostly anonymous, compared to posting under your name and picture.
However, there is some good that happens when people share their struggles but I do feel like there is a very thin line to tread. Also, it can also allow for discrimination if people are only posting negative things
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u/jeepchic20 19h ago
I agree. My son has severe ADHD and possible ODD/PDA and I had no idea about aggression that has come with this. If not for other parents on ADHD pages posting about the same behaviors my son was experiencing I would not have been versed enough to discuss with his psychiatrist or gotten him into therapy. It was good to know that I wasn't alone in what we were dealing with but, these parents weren't posting for clicks and content, they were where I was, confused and asking for help/opinions.
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u/jl8888 13h ago
Yes exactly! I’m surprised so many people are against this. There is a fine line because kids do deserve privacy, on the other hand the reality of parent autistic kids has been in the shadows for far too long. People with autistic kids need to know they are not alone and also what is “normal” for the condition, and others in the community need to know the realities of the condition so there is less stigma to the parents and more understanding
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u/NursePepper3x 17h ago
My therapist actually suggested I start a mommy blog/influencer account to speak on my experience and create a safe space for other moms. I decided to find a new therapist. I'm HAPPY to talk to other people in spaces that don't exploit my child or try to profit off of him. I will not open him - a minor child who is struggling - to the opinions of every whacko online. Mine is nearly 17. It's impossible to navigate some of these moments of crisis without involving the police. It's not social media scrolling entertainment.
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u/Good_Combination2290 1d ago
This is something you tell to your best friend or therapist. Not everyone. Your child doesn’t need everyone to know about this.
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u/Mental-Volume4395 1d ago
She just does it for attention. I wouldn’t believe a word she says after the fridge incident
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u/Prior-Entrance3156 1d ago
As an autistic woman who’s had her fair share of meltdowns and crying-screaming episodes, these mommy influencers have a real martyr complex. They post these anecdotes for praise and validation, so everyone can pat them on the back about what a wonderful strong courageous mama they are for letting their kid attack an education worker. It’s disgusting and incredibly vapid.
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u/Delightfuldisarray 1d ago
I hate this! Being a special needs mother is the hardest thing I have and will ever do, it's grueling. But respecting my child's privacy means a lot to me. I don't ever want him to look back and be ashamed/ embarrassed. We are supposed to be their advocates and protectors! Our school wanted to feature my son and I on their blog with a quote from me about how far we have come etc and I declined because some things are just meant to be kept private and a child's struggles is one of them in my book.
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u/mooooonchild 18h ago
As a mother to an ASD lvl 2 daughter, this stuff enrages me. Using your special needs child for content, to garner sympathy, or in any way to benefit yourself is just sick.
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u/Serious-Tear9571 1d ago
I actually feel really uncomfortable when parents/mums use their child with complex medical needs for content. I am not talking a woman's page occasionally featuring their child but a whole page dedicated to their child's medical journey. I understand that community can be found with others online when chronically ill, but these children have no say or consent about their face and private business being uploaded to the internet. On a more nefarious note, I wonder if the engagement and attention could also enable Fictitious disorder by proxy (formerly Munchausen's by proxy).
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u/Negative-bad169 11h ago
I know someone who posts on social media daily and includes “#nicu…(something)” on every single post, no matter what it’s about. The kid is about 6 now I think, but she still hanging onto it.
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u/Beneficial-Bag-2874 1d ago
When my child has epic meltdowns the last thing on my mind is, “I should share this with the world.”
I may reach out to a friend or a mom I know who has a similar child and vent but I keep it in my circle or even my journal. I started a journal for most issues and bad days I have with my son. This shit is too personal. Why do people feel the need to share everything or record everything???
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u/Lifes-a-lil-foggy 21h ago
Can’t speak for this crazy mom, but my crazy mom does stuff like this to stay ahead of the narrative. If she tells everyone I’m difficult before I can say “my mom is mistreating me” then they’ll dismiss anything I say as the words of a difficult child, etc.
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u/Ms_Eureka 19h ago
So this person is trash. I cannot stand her or her ex husband. They are both toxic, and its a pitty party for them both
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u/Agitated_Arachnid176 1d ago
My son is level 2 autistic and this makes me sick.
I understand needing support but this is not that, this is recording your child at his absolute worst moments for millions of strangers to see and monetizing it. It’s gross.
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u/Common_Chameleon 1d ago
I used to work in special education as essentially an aide (we just call it something different here), and this woman makes my blood boil. Obviously it’s horrible when a child attacks you, but it’s also horrible for the kid, and she’s making this all about her.
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u/frenchwolves 21h ago
I can’t imagine posting about my child, first off. But second, if they had any kind of issue with anything at all, I would dead before it would ever be posted about. Christ what is wrong with these people???
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u/Skeleton_Meat 22h ago
Her hair swept ever so perfectly and her lips parted ever so slightly... girl come on
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u/legendarysupermom 18h ago
I have a kid like this...hes gotten better recently but hes violent i mean he was expelled from DAYCARE at 1.5 for severe constant biting that was seemingly unprovoked and random violence and just being generally disruptive during class time just to give u an idea how he is....however, beyond vague vent posts in special needs groups on Facebook i never ever post something like this and go into raw details like that...one day that kid is gonna be a teen and have internet access and id never want him to see that and think that mommy is mad or fed up or just flat out angry with him and doesn't like him...how awful
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u/Fun-Positive-9601 15h ago
Anyone who posts anything on the internet is doing it for a attention ....And I don't believe any of these women are benign in any way or altruistic.....they are doing it for attention and platforming their children so that they get views and likes. It has nothing to do with advocacy.
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u/Mysterious-Willow391 14h ago
Agreed. This is why I have a reddit account and change specific details to remain anonymous. Inevitably this shit is hard but my kid will eventually grow up one day and while im allowed to have a bad day, so is he.
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u/Sprinkles2009 18h ago
They want the attention of being told they’re such a martyr and a good person. Literally anybody considering having children should think about that. Your kid could have a disability. And if you can’t handle that, don’t have them. They always wanna nail themselves to the cross, but rarely think about the perspective of the disabled person who will become an adult someday.
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u/Away-Living5278 1d ago
Look, I don't have kids, but if your kid is acting that violent wouldn't you just take them home for the day? I know the aide is paid to help him but they also should not be hit or bit and if your kid is that dysregulated, they won't be learning anyway. Why not just take them home for the day where they might be able to regulate quicker.
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u/TypicalReference9003 1d ago
I work with kids with autism in a school and it really depends. Sometimes in their plan, it’s spelled out not to take them home when they are having a tantrum because it can reinforce it. It’s also just part of the job to an extent. I think if you are otherwise supportive of the staff and you are advocating for your child to be in The appropriate setting (not downplaying their issues and trying to have them in a less restrictive setting) it’s all good. Depending on the kid what they are learning in school may be a lot of self regulation and just coping anyway.
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u/chronicallyalive 1d ago
I have a three year old in her first year of SpEd. Paras (or as she calls it, an aide) are notoriously underpaid and deal with this shit all the time. If I witnessed my child acting this way at drop off, I would bring her home. However, there are countless parents who can’t do that because they have to work. I don’t know what the solution is for those families.
My kiddo is not autistic but because of her age, SPD, and possible ADHD, she does hit and/or bite. It sucks but I still have the best chance of calming my child during those moments. Paras (even 1:1) are at a huge disadvantage in the school environment.
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u/tradhomewrecker 1d ago
And some schools will actively discourage parents from trying get their child placed in alternative schools because that's expensive, so parents of children with challenging behaviors are often stuck fighting relentlessly for their child while also getting phone calls and reports from the school about their child and feeling terrible about it.
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u/Negative-bad169 11h ago
You are 100% correct. Went through this with mine.
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u/tradhomewrecker 11h ago
I'm really sorry to hear it.
I wish people in general would be more curious about why these things happen instead of just shaming the kid/parent. We should not live in a world where children are given less-than-appropriate supports just because some corrupt POS in Washington DC needs their fifth vacation home.
There is not enough money and that's why things are like this.
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u/sogothimdead 18h ago
My perspective as the sibling of a person like her son is that the disabled person might only or mostly hit their family members and not people outside of their family
My brother acted a lot better at school and even ate more types of food than he was willing to eat at home
Also it's not like they learn academic subjects at school, they learn stuff like daily routines and social skills
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u/SleepingInNJ 1d ago
People should not let their kids abuse education workers.
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u/covelemon 1d ago
A child with autism who is dysregulated and not in control of themselves is not the same as a person "abusing" an education worker.
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u/Fickle_Success_5464 22h ago
The intent isn't there, but the impact is still abuse. It is a valid way to describe being physically attacked, regardless of the attacker.
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u/Educational-Cake-944 15h ago edited 15h ago
That kid needs to be in a facility somewhere or be getting serious help before he gets big enough to cause legit damage. No idea if he is or not, but he should be and she doesn’t need to be exploiting it. Nip that shit in the bud the best you can while you still can.
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u/CoatWinter9234 1d ago
Yeah…I have never posted a single thing about any of our kids’ diagnoses on social media. That is not my medical info to give out, and I do not want them pre-judged by others because of something I said when they were 8 and having a rough day. I cannot imagine them finding posts of my raw feelings and it benefitting our relationship in any way I vent to my husband, a couple close friends, my mom, and a therapist. Everyone doesn’t need to know how you’re feeling at all times, but social media has conditioned us that that’s what “authentic“ means.
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u/thehazzanator 23h ago
I have a kid with level 3 asd, I can relate to her morning. But this is something I'd confide in a friend, not the internet, wtf is wrong with her
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u/SarcasticSeaStar 21h ago
And unfortunately she's not the only one! I'm a foster parent (of two special needs teens) and we had a similar conversation on that sub recently about foster parents making money off heir content. It's really gross!
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u/mmmichals11 20h ago
The makeup, perfectly open pouting mouth, hair swooped back elegantly…. And a massive mark from her child on her neck. Wtffffffff is the point of this?
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u/NikkiKnight3 19h ago
I used to be such a fan of hers. Bought her memoir and everything. Then her content became increasingly more about her children, then almost totally about her husband’s breakdown and co-parenting with a right wing weirdo with videos of her kids splashed in. Bleh.
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u/Negative-bad169 11h ago
Yes!!! I agree with every bit of this. I have 2 special needs kids. I don’t post about their struggles or medical paths online for the masses to get attention for myself. My kids have a right to their privacy, even if they are children. Support groups are a great way to get the true support parents need and not the attention they crave.
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u/Stock_Artist_7159 5h ago
I have a special needs child (not autistic). I feel for any special needs child, it is so hard, so isolating, and something no one outside of that world can understand. That being said, fuck all these people that exploit their special needs children on social media. It is gross and is child exploitation.
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u/justhereforthetea68 17h ago
She needs therapy it sounds like she’s judging her child’s disability for attention, yikes
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u/Shellymp3 1d ago edited 1d ago
I am a para 1:1 to a non-verbal autistic girl.
She sees me as “her person” and will use her communication book or run to something in the class she wants and bring it to me. I feel we were meant to be together for some reason beyond this world.
Today, for the first time, she was really, really off. Crying, hitting herself. She bit me on the arm a couple of times. Also didn’t eat or drink anything which is highly unusual. All I could do was rock her and hold her tight. When I would let go, she would jump on my lap and want pressure on her arm, or if I was unavailable she would run to someone else for the same thing. I believe she was having some kind of distress or pain, and not the usual missing mom and dad. My heart broke for her as there was no way to know what it was. Documented to the parents what happened, and hopefully they can figure it out.
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u/Radiant-Meringue-543 17h ago
Also the photo of herself. Thin. Blonde. White. Frailty. There is so much within that, too.
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u/BeebsMuhQueen 20h ago
Yeah. There was a fake Christian lady one I saw, she doesn’t even deserve me being mad and the error and arguing with her.. that’s how terrible she is.
She compares her child’s autism with leprosy, and talks about how some diseases just won’t go away etc but still try to purge them etc. The world needs to be purged of people like her is more like it… they give the world the ick, because they are icky. Her caption should be “God doesn’t need more influencers”
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u/Rare-Echo-386 1d ago
I have a child with profound autism and sometimes days are like this. I would never. Ever. Ever. Post this shit publicly for my daughter to potentially one day see. Laura is selfish.