Got broken up with because of my test results

[u/sour-hearts]

I don’t know what I’m eating I just found it at work

I’m 22 and this guy I’m seeing asked me to get a full panel STD/STI test before we continue our relationship. I agreed because I know I’m clean. I found out I have HSV1, we opened the results together and prior to me opening my results he was all over me and kissing me. He saw it and then he backed away from me. I asked him what was wrong and he said he has to do his own research on it and then he left.

We were texting and I told him that I’m worried that my thing is bugging him and he sent me this: “I really like you and you've been sweeter than any other girl l've talked too but I don't think I'd be comfortable with it. Dating is already hard enough honestly but I'd still like to take you out and hangout this Saturday”

I’m so confused because I thought HSV1 cannot be transferred unless I have an active outbreak. I haven’t had one since I was a child, that was my first and only time I got a cold sore. It’s been nearly 2 decades since then. If he’s so worried about getting it I understand him not wanting to be with me, but we have already done stuff, so I kind of don’t get it?

I’m feeling really gross right now. I feel so incredibly disgusting and there’s no way for me to get rid of how dirty I feel. This thing is forever. I initially didn’t think it was a big deal until his reaction.

[u/tarobeansmayo]

This!! I personally wouldn't date someone with an STD active/ latent or whatever status. Like, I am sorry but no.

https://giphy.com/gifs/fXnRObM8Q0RkOmR5nf

[u/AltruisticPeanutHead → u/tarobeansmayo]

I got HSV1 from using my dad's chapstick as a child lol

[u/tarobeansmayo → u/AltruisticPeanutHead]

It doesn't matter which way it was transmitted. As someone with Stevens Johnson Syndrome from Tegretol, my body became a whole sore. Why would I put myself through any form of sore if I can help it?

I am baffled that people act like because they have herpes, we need to break the boundaries because "everyone basically got it, grow up". Body autonomy, my choice, but only who's matter?

[u/AltruisticPeanutHead → u/tarobeansmayo]

Okay all I really meant is I think some people literally forget that it is considered an STD cuz they didn't get it transmitted to them sexually, happens to me lol. I don't care what you do and am not sure where you got that I said you should be forced to interact with someone with herpes if you don't want to

[u/ickysock → u/AltruisticPeanutHead]

there are a lot of people in here who think that people who don't continue to sleep with someone who has herpes are 'contributing to stigma' and that they are inherently bad for doing so. I know because I've argued with them. I assume that is what u/tarobeansmayo meant.

[u/tarobeansmayo → u/ickysock]

Exactly. We get the terrible humans label because I chose not to. It has nothing to do with stigmatizing. No one here is claiming someone with a STD should remain single or whatever dumb reasoning. What I mean is, I can choose NOT to do so, for my own health. Same way some people wouldn't give a fuck.

So they should just find someone who doesn't give a fuck. From the comments, most don't give a fuck. So I don't understand the issue. I am sure OP can find someone who doesn't.

[u/tarobeansmayo → u/[deleted]]

Let me get this right: I am not a fun person because I decide who/ what / when goes inside my body?

Lolz. If that's the definition of "you're not fun".

Then I am not funny. Not one fucking bit.

[u/yobrefas → u/tarobeansmayo]

Joining in on the “won’t be doing standup any time soon, ig,” camp because I share this opinion — and not because I find someone “dirty” or “tainted” or because of a taboo. But because I don’t want a medical condition and we can all make choices for our own bodies. People shouldn’t be made to feel bad about anything they have going on, but if others don’t want that risk, they’re allowed that decision.

[u/tarobeansmayo → u/yobrefas]

Apparently we're not because everyone has it!

Funniest bit is very little considering that this could be a big deal if by any misfortune, you end pregnant, and your child has an inmuno disease.

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/tarobeansmayo → u/[deleted]]

Had to resort to name calling to try to make a point.

(I see the notification sis)

Sad. Low. And more sad.

[u/GirlDinnerDiaries-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Rule 3: Be Kind -- Don't Yuck Someone's Yum

➽ DECENCY & RESTRAINT: don't bully, shame, or be mean about anyone's food, habits, or lifestyle. Light teasing is ok, cruelty is not. No dehumanizing, name-calling, ad hominem digs, or insults to intelligence/literacy.

➽ ENGAGE IN GOOD FAITH: seek mutual understanding! Bring questions not assumptions, curiosity not condemnation, benefit of the doubt not accusations, and sincerity & steel-manning, not sarcasm. Disagreements and challenges must have appropriate tact, tone, and timing.

➽ TOUGH LOVE MUST LOVING: critiques must be constructive and free of contempt.

[u/GirlDinnerDiaries-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Rule 3: Be Kind -- Don't Yuck Someone's Yum

➽ DECENCY & RESTRAINT: don't bully, shame, or be mean about anyone's food, habits, or lifestyle. Light teasing is ok, cruelty is not. No dehumanizing, name-calling, ad hominem digs, or insults to intelligence/literacy.

➽ ENGAGE IN GOOD FAITH: seek mutual understanding! Bring questions not assumptions, curiosity not condemnation, benefit of the doubt not accusations, and sincerity & steel-manning, not sarcasm. Disagreements and challenges must have appropriate tact, tone, and timing.

➽ TOUGH LOVE MUST LOVING: critiques must be constructive and free of contempt.

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.

2 quick steps:

1. If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
2. Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.

That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕