Got broken up with because of my test results

[u/sour-hearts]

I don’t know what I’m eating I just found it at work

I’m 22 and this guy I’m seeing asked me to get a full panel STD/STI test before we continue our relationship. I agreed because I know I’m clean. I found out I have HSV1, we opened the results together and prior to me opening my results he was all over me and kissing me. He saw it and then he backed away from me. I asked him what was wrong and he said he has to do his own research on it and then he left.

We were texting and I told him that I’m worried that my thing is bugging him and he sent me this: “I really like you and you've been sweeter than any other girl l've talked too but I don't think I'd be comfortable with it. Dating is already hard enough honestly but I'd still like to take you out and hangout this Saturday”

I’m so confused because I thought HSV1 cannot be transferred unless I have an active outbreak. I haven’t had one since I was a child, that was my first and only time I got a cold sore. It’s been nearly 2 decades since then. If he’s so worried about getting it I understand him not wanting to be with me, but we have already done stuff, so I kind of don’t get it?

I’m feeling really gross right now. I feel so incredibly disgusting and there’s no way for me to get rid of how dirty I feel. This thing is forever. I initially didn’t think it was a big deal until his reaction.

[u/godonramsysthrowaway]

It doesn’t come up in a standard STI panel for those reasons, but it can be tested for and it seems like the guy OP was dating specifically requested her to get tested for everything possible

[u/sour-hearts → u/godonramsysthrowaway]

Yea he wanted me to get tested for everything. He said he was paranoid

[u/Itsjustkit15 → u/sour-hearts]

Did he show you his test results?

[u/karmicallykorrect → u/Itsjustkit15]

This is the question!!

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

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[u/Plushies-Sell-Trade → u/sour-hearts]

So paranoid? He kissed you…He could have HSV-1!

[u/WiseOrder4436 → u/sour-hearts]

When someone tells you who they are....believe them. He ended up being too paranoid to waste your time on.

[u/SurroundQuirky8613 → u/sour-hearts]

My husband gets cold sores. We’ve been married 23 years. I’ve never gotten it. He just doesn’t kiss me when he feels one coming on. And worst case scenario you get a cold sore. It’s not like a limb falls off or anything serious.

[u/Kwhitney1982 → u/sour-hearts]

Ok in that case, be glad you dropped this control freak anxiety ridden guy. I’m sorry but if it’s not a cold sore it will be something else again and again. Also, he sounds kind of stupid… 😬

[u/pumpkins21 → u/sour-hearts]

If he’s paranoid…he should’ve done a full panel as well and opened his results with you. Multiple people have asked if he did a full panel and I haven’t seen you reply, which makes me think he didn’t do one. 🤨

Please don’t feel bad about your results. That boy sucks and deserves to be blocked and laughed at mercilessly.

Not sure wth you’re eating but if it’s good, then that’s what counts!

Edit: scrolled a bit further down and saw that you said he texted you his results. Still a bit sus but whatever. Don’t hang out with this foo.

[u/Mezzoflation → u/godonramsysthrowaway]

I remember listening to a podcast that discussed this. They said that, even though it is an STI like all the other things on the panel, they leave it off on purpose. It's so common and asympomatic. Seeing it on a screening can cause severe unneeded anxiety, social stigma and relationship issues with the people finding out. Sadly, it sounds like OP is an example of this.

Not saying we should keep any hiding STIs from romantic partners is a good thing, but there's still a lot of stigma around it, especially when we're not educated on it. The podcast was about a person who had it and about how they navigated dating with it. If the guy was this paranoid about this stuff, maybe they should have looked into it to see that "testing for everything" means catching minor, treatable, and nonissue diseases like this

[u/Kwhitney1982 → u/Mezzoflation]

I’m not sure if I would even want to date a guy as stupid as OPs guy. He sounds like the prime target for medical misinformation.