Got broken up with because of my test results

[u/sour-hearts]

I don’t know what I’m eating I just found it at work

I’m 22 and this guy I’m seeing asked me to get a full panel STD/STI test before we continue our relationship. I agreed because I know I’m clean. I found out I have HSV1, we opened the results together and prior to me opening my results he was all over me and kissing me. He saw it and then he backed away from me. I asked him what was wrong and he said he has to do his own research on it and then he left.

We were texting and I told him that I’m worried that my thing is bugging him and he sent me this: “I really like you and you've been sweeter than any other girl l've talked too but I don't think I'd be comfortable with it. Dating is already hard enough honestly but I'd still like to take you out and hangout this Saturday”

I’m so confused because I thought HSV1 cannot be transferred unless I have an active outbreak. I haven’t had one since I was a child, that was my first and only time I got a cold sore. It’s been nearly 2 decades since then. If he’s so worried about getting it I understand him not wanting to be with me, but we have already done stuff, so I kind of don’t get it?

I’m feeling really gross right now. I feel so incredibly disgusting and there’s no way for me to get rid of how dirty I feel. This thing is forever. I initially didn’t think it was a big deal until his reaction.

[u/Saywhat_100]

nearly half the US population carried hsv1.

The situation sucks, but if he really has a hang up with it, that is his prerogative. You are not disgusting, there is nothing wrong with you.

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[u/stinkbomb6 → u/Saywhat_100]

Nah he doesn’t have a hang up about it. If he did he would move on. He just wants to make OP feel bad so that she feels emotionally indebted to him 🤮

[u/yobrefas → u/stinkbomb6]

Or….he just doesn’t want to risk contracting HSV1.

You are projecting malice and manipulation when he specifically said that he wanted to do some research and make a decision for his body.

[u/Quirky_Movie → u/yobrefas]

Please explain how making out with someone untested would not risk HSV-1.

Without testing, how would he know that the person is safe to kiss?

You are basically advocating for this person to engage in risky sexual behavior that could spread the very disease he wants to avoid. It doesn't make sense if he legitimately is concerned about HSV-1 to make out with other people. Your argument comes off as manipulative.

[u/yobrefas → u/Quirky_Movie]

Again, keep keeping to avoid my point. Every time, you come back attempting a new argument to somehow counter a very, very necessary belief that individuals always have bodily autonomy, period.

My argument does not come off as “manipulative” because you do not agree with it.