Got broken up with because of my test results

[u/sour-hearts]

I don’t know what I’m eating I just found it at work

I’m 22 and this guy I’m seeing asked me to get a full panel STD/STI test before we continue our relationship. I agreed because I know I’m clean. I found out I have HSV1, we opened the results together and prior to me opening my results he was all over me and kissing me. He saw it and then he backed away from me. I asked him what was wrong and he said he has to do his own research on it and then he left.

We were texting and I told him that I’m worried that my thing is bugging him and he sent me this: “I really like you and you've been sweeter than any other girl l've talked too but I don't think I'd be comfortable with it. Dating is already hard enough honestly but I'd still like to take you out and hangout this Saturday”

I’m so confused because I thought HSV1 cannot be transferred unless I have an active outbreak. I haven’t had one since I was a child, that was my first and only time I got a cold sore. It’s been nearly 2 decades since then. If he’s so worried about getting it I understand him not wanting to be with me, but we have already done stuff, so I kind of don’t get it?

I’m feeling really gross right now. I feel so incredibly disgusting and there’s no way for me to get rid of how dirty I feel. This thing is forever. I initially didn’t think it was a big deal until his reaction.

[u/Prize_Sheepherder_62]

He’s an idiot. 80% of people have HSV1. Most people get it as a child. He’ll get his due

[u/rainshowers_5_peace → u/Prize_Sheepherder_62]

He’ll get his due

For saying no to OP? For wanting to lessen his chances of getting herpes?

[u/tarobeansmayo → u/rainshowers_5_peace]

A wild thing to mention from that person.

"He'll get his due"

Makes you question if some of the fine citizen in here want the bloke to eventually get herpes because he said NO to OP.

[u/fakemoose → u/Prize_Sheepherder_62]

It’s estimated at 50-80% in the US. That doesn’t mean 80% have it.

[u/noisy_goose → u/fakemoose]

It’s globally ~67% per the WHO.

The range in the US is two age groups plus margin of error. I’m not sure if 70 vs 80% is meaningful in terms of making someone feel better that LOTS of people have it, but meaningful statistically.

[u/Upbeat_Resolution_44 → u/noisy_goose]

Exactly! Enough of us who got it from a random grandparent kiss or whatever at a young age just learned better and didn’t allow others to spread it once we were educated. I’m an elder millennial and have had HSV1 since I was like 3. While most of my family has it, I was much more strict about washing hands and kisses when my kid was young so he never got it. It used to be a higher percentage of the population but has decreased due to people like me being educated. Who would’ve thought that’d turn into some of these younger kids acting like it’s an STI?! 🤦‍♀️

[u/DistractionCitron → u/Prize_Sheepherder_62]

Maybe I'm evil, but I'd back off of anyone who had any kind of transferrable herpes, too because I don't want to get it. Just because other people have gotten it in childhood doesn't mean I'd be fine with getting it.

[u/tarobeansmayo → u/DistractionCitron]

I don't understand why is such a sore topic to say some of us don't want herpes in our bodies if we can help it.

[u/Plushies-Sell-Trade → u/tarobeansmayo]

Congrats? Not everyone gets the option. SAs can happen. I’m gonna take a leap and say majority of people don’t try to get it but some get it as babies.

[u/tarobeansmayo → u/Plushies-Sell-Trade]

And? Who gets brownie points? Is that what you're implying?

The existence of sexual assault doesn't magically cancel out bodily autonomy for everyone else. Just because you're a case. You'd think a discussion about bodily autonomy would make that fairly obvious, but apparently not.

Funny you want empathy about SA while being so condescending about someone's stance with the choice of who they sleep with.

Quite hypocrite. And insane take.

[u/Plushies-Sell-Trade → u/tarobeansmayo]

I’m just saying; it’s not like you can always avoid it. I mean maybe you can personally but it’s always a risk…Not saying it’s high just saying it there.

[u/yobrefas → u/Plushies-Sell-Trade]

No, you cannot always avoid it. But if someone is attempting to make that decision for themselves, you are wrong to try to shame or advocate for that choice to be taken away from them. No one here, especially if you bring up a history of SA, should have to explain that to you.

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[u/Exotic_Rigatoni319 → u/Prize_Sheepherder_62]

“He’ll get his due” … are you actually wishing an STD and/or incurable virus (or some other sort of punishment) on someone for practicing bodily autonomy/saying no/having boundaries?