r/ForeverAlone • u/Inspector_Spoonman • 1d ago

Vent People Really Don’t Understand

Why is it so hard to empathize with the fact that someone WILL eventually get lonely with absolutely zero romantic interest? Like, come on, is it really that hard to understand?

It’s not absurd for me to want to hold someone after 23 years of never doing so. The only way it sounds absurd is when they can’t even understand it. You choosing not to date because of bad experiences a year ago is not the same as me wanting to hold someone my entire life and never being able to.

Rant over.

65 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

10 comments sorted by

13

u/KalashnikovParty 1d ago

Eh perspective is something that comes difficult for most people even if they don’t like to admit it. It’s part of the intrinsic biological need for self survival 

16

u/Inspector_Spoonman 1d ago

Ughhh I know… I just hate it so much.

“Stop wanting a relationship” says the person whose first one was at 17 and has been in five since… Of course they can simply “not want one”, they know they can get one if they wanted to.

-3

u/JoshuaBarbeau 1d ago

I do empathize with you, and generally agree with most of what you've said here, but that last line, man... Come on. That's like saying someone who has won the lottery knows they can just win it again. So much of coupling is random chance, not skill.

11

u/Inspector_Spoonman 1d ago

The truth is most people get it if they search for it. We are the outliers being on this sub man… I’m not saying they could get it next week, but it is 100% different when you have the confidence of having been in serious relationships as opposed to not.

0

u/JoshuaBarbeau 1d ago

I've been in relationships. Somewhere along the way I lost that confidence. It's not a guarantee. That's all I mean.

4

u/Inspector_Spoonman 1d ago

I agree, that’s not what I meant.

13

u/squidlord2 1d ago

They believe that you are genuinely evil for feeling/being lonely

8

u/Usinaru 31M, spiritualist 1d ago

Or rather for ' being a lonely unwanted man '

6

u/Blue-Soda 22h ago

I understand I felt the same way and I'm 34 dude still in the same situation. I don't know about anyone else but I can only speak for myself, the hurt and the pain of feeling like this has passed.

I would cry in my room about this because I felt so awful. I think this phase has passed and I'm moving into acceptance, not to say I don't want a relationship but I feel more at ease at not having a partner. I feel like my priorities have changed and I'm not putting having a relationship on a pedestal.

I wish for everyone in the same situation all the best and I hope you make it out.

3

u/ThJones76 14h ago

They believe that you’re alone due to an inherent flaw that you are unwilling to fix.