I (22 Femme) always love asking this question to other femmes. 🌸 for me, I loveee feminine women, soft skin, nice lips, confident aura, but a little goofy too 🥰 bonus points if you’re an athlete or love the gym like I do ❤️ my list of attractions could go onnn and on. What are yours??

hi baddies, im a 26f woman in a 1+ year serious relationship with a 25f masc. We live together, and things have started to feel… patriarchal in the house. We both have serious full time jobs, but she works in the office 4 days a week, and i wfh 4 days a week. It takes a lot out of her sometimes, so I like to help by cooking dinner every night. I love cooking. But recently its started to become all of the household chores. Cooking dinner. Prepping lunch. Doing the dishes. Arranging for the laundry pickup. Making plans with our friends. Planning the dates. When she gets hoke from work, all she wants to talk about is work- and I LIKE hearing about her job, but it feels like the only thing she wants to talk about. And when i want to talk about my job, she is disengaged and will cut me off to talk about her job. I feel like im the one doing the emotional labor, comforting her, taking care of her when shes sick, etc, but when im not feeling well or having a bad mental health day, I get a pat on the back and an “its okay”. I’m just starting to feel like the relationship is taking a turn i dont like.

I used to date men when i was pretending i was bisexual, and honestly i wouldnt even consider doing a fraction of the things i do for her, for them. It brings me joy to take care of my lady, but its becoming too much.

Does anyone have experience with this? Any advice at all??

I’m not looking for a relationship right now just a casual hookup with a woman who wants the same Why is it so hard to find someone on the same page or wanna same ?

I’ve been thinking a lot about being what it means to be a femme and I’m wondering how others define it, for me it’s about embracing femininity separated from heteronormativity and helping my community, I’m in school for social work so the community support part is active but so much of what I’ve been told about how femmes can protect our communities is using being straight passing to protect those who aren’t, but I’m trans and the best way I can describe myself is as both very visibly a woman and very visibly trans (thankfully I live in an area where that’s mostly safe) I’m just wondering what I specifically can do to protect and support my community and I was wondering how others define being a femme

Ive always identified ask Butch, i wore my brother and fathers clothes growing up, I wore my hair very short from 16 onwards, and would even describe myself as genderqueer because I have always been so gender nonconforming. Ive always been left leaning, but I have outright identified as an anticapitalist and leftist since I was 18 (im 24 now)

lately, ive grown my hair out to roughly shoulder length because ive entered a medical program, and i didnt want to get singled out and have my grades affected like my cousin did when she went to nursing school for being trans, who ended up having to quit her program because the harassment was so bad. we live in a very red state and I can say this decision was regardless for the best because multiple preceptors ive had openly have talked about hating gay people and being maga while ive been in clinicals

I still thought of myself as Butch, just with long hair, until very recently when some of my friends made a comment about how I was "fem4fem" when I was talking about liking a certain television actress, it took me aback a bit because they've known me well before I grew my hair out? I took a hard look at myself after and realized im... just a very feminine person, in the face and how i act, so I guess my hair is enough to make people read me as super girly even though I still wear almost exclusively mens clothing, hoodies, masculine style womens clothing. my interests are also I guess very "fem coded" since im into fiber crafts. Its just almost a very dysphoric inducing thing for me because i realize im perceived so differently than I thought, did I even come off as masculine with short hair? or would people still have called me a fem then because of how i look and act?

Ive been doing some soul searching and reading, I dont want to claim im something if im just not that thing yk? maybe i am just femme in denial. but I see this reoccurring theme that community dynamics and political differences matter more than personal aethetics or appearances when it comes to butchfemme identity, a butch can have long hair and wear nail polish, a femme can have short hair and work construction, but no one ever defines what those actually important differences are?? old works largely have to do with the gender identity aspects of butchfemme so reading old books havent been super helpful in understanding what people mean by this, so if anyone has any advice or insight I would really appreciate it tbh

tldr: realized I may not be as Butch as I thought, want insight from other butchfemmes and what it means to them

I feel like I often see discussions about attraction between femmes and butches or masc women, but not as much about androgynous women.

I'm more androgynous in how I present myself and don't particularly look girly, although I do enjoy feminine things sometimes.

I've never really experienced that mutual attraction with a very feminine-presenting woman, so I've found myself wondering how femmes generally feel about dating women like me.

I'm aware that everyone has their own preferences, and I'm not assuming all femmes like the same things. I'm genuinely curious, though. If you're femme and have been attracted to or dated an androgynous woman, what drew you to her? Is that a type you're naturally drawn to, or does it depend more on the individual?

I'd love to hear your experiences.

I’m sorry this is super long 😭but i really need advice

Hi! I just recently ended my first wlw relationship I am 19F and my partner was 21F and I kinda need some advice on how to move forward.

Me and my partner dated for a year and ended up getting our first apartment together I felt at the time that our relationship was progressing and in my previous apartment I lived in she basically was living there rent free which was not ideal.

While we were living in this new apartment she started to show up late to work it started off as a couple of mins and then a couple hours and than eventually she started to fully not show up. Ex.( she would not come in for 2 days and than randomly show up on days she wasn’t schedule to make up her hours) Her managers were really nice and understanding and tried working with her such as adjusting her schedule and she was able to be late/ not show up for a couple months until they finally let her go.

While she had this job I would get on her about not showing up for work and how she was acting immature and putting her job on the line and if she lost her job she would be putting me in a bad position financially. Hoping she would start show up to work I told her if she lost her job we would no longer be together.

When she finally did lose her job i had enough money in my savings to be able to use pretty much use the entirety of it to break the lease and get out before i ended up going into debt.

I ended up moving back in with my family and so did she after the breakup and we were on good terms and she promised me she will work on becoming more mature and able to take care of herself to “get me back”.

Since the breakup i’ve been able to think a lot about the relationship and some questionable things happened. When we had issues i kinda had to bury it down cuz i had a year long lease with her and knew how messy it would be if we broke up . i really need some advice how to perceive this from and outer perspective.

Immediately after we broke up i saw that she unblocked and than reblocked her ex gf who she was on and off with for a span of 2 years

While we were together she accidentally butt dialed this same ex even tho she told me they had not be in contact for over a year

When we were a month into talking she was texting the ex gf’s bsf about how she loved her and cared about her and wished the were together but she felt like her ex needs someone better

Also I found a note and polaroid picture in her wallet from a girl she had dated this was about 7 months into us being together when this happened

And a separate situations we were into the first couple months of us being together i found a handful of letter and photos from girls who were from her past when i asked her why she still had that she told me she wanted to show her future children the love letters.

When we were together she was able to convince me none of this stuff and mattered but it always bothered me. So finally I just need some advice i do love her still and care about her and once she able to grow she said she will pursue me and again but should I move on from this relationship or give her time to grow to come back together? or is she playing me in my face 😕

Feeling a little extra gay as of late! Just here to cheer you all on with some positive femmeness and remind you to go kiss a girl and have the best day 💕

I’m usually a high heels, tights, skirt, full beat and blowout sort of girl but for swimwear I’ve been thinking about trunks. I normally wear boxers so bikinis feel so uncomfortable. Does any have any cute short options for bottoms? Or any other high coverage ideas?

Ive been laughed at and said i look like a gay man with one in. lol should i keep the one i have? i will not re-pierce. 🍒 after the piercing my nipples are so sensitive and always hard. any friction and im horny 😩 💦

Same city? Different country? Different continent? Where do you draw the line?

Hi all!
I'm unsure if this is tagged correctly (NSFW, since the theme is for the new issue is erotic/erotica), but I wanted to see if you guys had seen the femmedyke zine, and if you had any thoughts on the newest issue!

The zine is run by a femme called Stella on instagram, and the issue is now online for public access (i'll hyperlink them both down below!)

I've got to say, I love all independent zines for lesbians and dykes- but this one has a special place in my heart for centring femmes specifically.

If you haven't checked it out before, I hope you enjoy looking through the issues as I have- it'd be nice to all be able to chat about it too!
<33

Issue 5 (Dykerotic)

All issues of Femme Dyke Zine!

Instagram page too

When I first had my sort of 'gay awakening' it was when I had a big old crush on a butch. And for a good while all my interest was really only in more masculine presenting women. But maybe for the past year or so... I've been kinda questioning if I like femmes too (or other presentations inbetween too ig). Growing up I never had any of those straight girl crushes that I see so many lesbians talk about, but I think maybe it has more to do with the fact that they were straight and not a real option.

I think what I've learned about myself is that, it's maybe less about presentation and more about just knowing that this person could actually be into me. I think somehow I also felt a stronger sense of shame somehow around having some attraction to femininity. Like it felt predatory somehow? Which I know is just some internalized homophobia talking, but I think maybe that's why it was easier to be with mascs or butches (because they look way more obviously gay, so there's a lot less risk of feeling like "the predatory lesbian").

Anyways, what I'm really curious to know, is if anyone else here in the past mostly dated mascs but only later discovered an interest in femmes? Did it feel any different?

I know the title of the group is femmelesbians, but is anyone going to object if a femme bi person joins in?

I wasn't sure where to go with this but this might be the best place. For context, I am a trans girl and it took me a long time to figure myself out and get comfortable with ME but I'm still kind of new to all this and sometimes I'm not sure if I really fit in with femmes? Like I love to be perceived as feminine more than anything and to do feminine things and I want to dress more feminine. For myself and my girlfriend and because I enjoy it and it makes me feel great. but I also love Racing and Heavy Metal and I work in landscaping. maybe not things typically associated with being femme? So I'm also kind of confused what the difference is between like just being kind of "normal" feminine and being a femme. any advice would be greatly appreciated. If this is the wrong sub I'm sorry

I’m a Christian and I’ve been out since 19, I’m 32 now. But I just realized how isolating this is. Nobody in my life can actually relate to my situation. Everytime I open up I’m a Christian to my dates, I feel like I’m being judged for my faith, and when I open up to people in general that I’m not straight, I’d still feel that stigma about being gay. I mean, where do I stand? I’m sure I’m not the only one who is STILL a Christian here. So to my fellow believers, how do you navigate this?? I’m kinda in the point in life that I’m this close to just accept that maybe I’ll be just alone forever 🥺

What are we looking for in our ideal partners?? Anybody here want to have IVF babies one day like me hehehe

Apparently my body hates me and won't let me sleep in on the weekends 😭

I understand the 2/3 shorter nails from a safety and practicality standpoint, but I really hate the way they look 😭 I won't get them but the thought of keeping all my nails short all the time is upsetting!

I just took off a set and already miss the sound of my extensions tapping against my phone when I'm using it! (I am getting them redone today though 🎊)

I can't be the only one who is not a fan of this style so I'm curious about what everyone else is doing 🤔

So im butch and im hoping some awesome femme women in here might be able to assist with advice. Im not sure if its me that needs help or this situationship is doomed.

I am having trouble with my 6 month situationship.. i really love this girl. Im hoping we become more.

Problem i'm having. Is every conversation we have, gets picked apart, analysed or corrected from her side. She'll either correct me if ive used a wrong word or the incorrect phrasing. Sometimes my brain does that, especially when im nervous.. then I start stuttering.

Im really chill and love nothing but having conversations with people. I dont have problems talking to anyone else. Everyone in my life, knows me and how gentle natured I am. I may look butch but im a big softie on the inside. So would never intend to offend. Its like she is a walking talking thesaurus and I dont use the correct words to her liking.

I feel like im walking on eggshells with this one..

Ive had conversations with her, telling her how it makes me feel. She takes it in and is very apologetic. Then it keeps happening. I just feel like my conversations with her are lost at this stage, becos now im scared of how I talk, and what words and phrases I am using therefore I feel like she's not really listening to what im actually talking about.

Feels like a loaded question, but what do you think about this?

Update ** I just wanted to take a moment to thank you beautiful people for taking the time to reply. You've all said what im feeling already. That I should end it as the behaviour is toxic. Especially as ive bought it up as an issue and shes still doing it. Better now to end it rather than let it continue on. Sometimes we just need a sounding board.. so thank you 🫶🫂

TLDR: Hey I’m Skye 18F and my ex situationship who we will call Julia also 18F recently got engaged to someone we will call Nathan 19-20M (not exactly sure his age) and I’m taking it horribly. One of her ex’s messaged me with Nathan’s instagram and I came across her instagram and my cat liked one of her posts and now she followed me and I’m contemplating on following her back but I don’t know what to do.

So I met Julia back in 2022-2023 school year it was 10th grade at the time and I was new to the school. She had a 3 boyfriends at time who she was on and off with (she never dated them at the same time) and Nathan was one of them. Now she had confessed that she had feelings for me like a week or so after we got close and I had feelings for her aswell but we never dated because of the fact that she was always on and off with Nathan and 2 other guys. But we would constantly do things that 2 people who were dating would do like for example she was my first kiss, and she gave me my first hickey, and she would just constantly say things that she shouldn’t have especially with her being in a relationship.

So basically i had found out by this guy named Q 19M (he was also one of Julia’s ex’s back in 2022-2023) he texts me on Instagram and he sent me a photo of Nathan’s profile and it’s a photo of them and in his bio it said “happily engaged, I love my fiancé” and I looked in his friends list and I found her instagram and I had set my phone down to use the bathroom and I when I came back I seen my cat stepping on my phone and when I looked at a post it had been liked on my main account so not even 5 minutes goes by and she follows me. Mind you we’ve been no contact for almost a year. It will be a year the end of December. It’s killing me because part of me wants to follow her back but everyone else is telling me not to because of the past and everything.

But anyway what pisses me off the most about her engagement to Nathan is that from what i witnessed a couple years ago was that he really didn’t care about her and that could also be because I was just so jealous of the fact that he was in a relationship with her when I never got that chance but there’s this one specific thing that I remember and basically what happened was like she had gotten suspended for being late to class bc she fell down a flight of stairs and she was wearing my boots that had like 4 inch heals to them and she twisted her ankle so I carried her over my shoulders to the nurses office and made sure she was okay when Nathan just left her there and went to class and when I explained it they said “you aren’t suspended but since Julia isn’t gonna be in school for 3 days you better stay home aswell since you can’t function unless she’s here” later to find out they put suspension on my record.

Like I want to be happy for her and her engagement to Nathan but I just can’t be because of the fact that I can’t seem to get over her and I feel like the reason I can’t is because of the fact that we weren’t anything.

So what should I do? Should I add follow her back? Should I just forget about it completely? I’ve tried blocking her but she makes different accounts so that doesn’t work. I just miss her so much and part of me feels like I will always love her.

I’m curious if anyone else gets assumed straight all the time lol
I’d say I’m more femme presenting when I go out, but day to day I’m pretty casual and sporty. I work a physical job and wear a uniform, so there probably isn’t much that obviously screams “I like girls” 😂
Recently a few people who haven’t known me long have told me they assumed I was straight, which kind of confirmed what I already suspected. I also get hit on by guys way more than women and honestly I’m rarely approached by women at all 😅
I can be pretty shy at first and when I go out I’m usually just there to have fun with my friends. I’m not really someone who goes out looking to pick someone up either. I’d rather meet someone naturally, get to know them and see if there’s a connection.
I don’t want to change how I dress or present myself, but is there anything subtle you do that makes it a bit more obvious to other women that you’re into women?
And yes, I have been doing the thumb ring every now and then 🤣

Two years ago, I was sharing my experience dating my avoidant girlfriend here. Many people advised me to stop, but I didn't listen. I thought I could become securely avoidant. Now, today, I've been dumped. I haven't become securely avoidant; instead, I'm even more anxious. I'm so sad right now. I wonder if anyone would be willing to comfort me. I would be extremely grateful.