r/Feminism • u/Ok-Photograph-5529 • 1d ago
“The sperm that won,” narrative needs to end
This is something I haven’t heard discussed often. Before you clown on me, hear me out.
I constantly hear, “I was the sperm that won,” or in all comment sections of biology videos, “Can you believe that was me?”
Yes, you are the sperm. You are also equally the egg that chose the sperm. We are the end result of the synthesis between the two inside the womb. Biology speaking, 50% of our DNA is also our birth mom’s (technically, we are actually 25% each grandparent but that’s not important). Constantly, we refer to ourselves as the sperm but it’s ignoring half of our biology.
I hate that it discredits the woman’s participation in the creation of an embryo and the egg as an active cell in the process. Our biology is very not favorable to sperm. It’s a very hostile environment and acidic. Our bodies purposely make it hard so that bad swimmers do not make it.
To me, it’s a remnant of debunked history and science where people only thought of women as the “carriers”. A large portion of history believed that women played no active role in sexual reproduction.
I know, “the sperm that won,” is a dumb hill to die on but it’s false and extremely harmful to perpetuate.
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u/Pendiente 1d ago
Unnecessary "uhm actually", but we're actually more our mothers than our fathers, as (almost) all extranuclear hereditary influence (like mitochondrial DNA and hereditary epigenetic factors and such) comes from the mother.
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u/Crunch_McThickhead 1d ago
Wasn't there a recent study that found that it's not the first/strongest sperm to get to the egg, the egg seems to do some "choosing" which one it lets through? I disagree that it's extremely harmful (women as just incubators sure, but one sperm being the "best" not so much). Everybody has their ultimately inconsequential pet peeve, though. Nothing wrong with that.
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u/seweso 1d ago
I have never heard that. What a batshit insane thing to say.
Can’t you just look disgusted when someone talks like that, and ignore the person forever?
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u/Opposite-Occasion332 1d ago
I envy you. I’ve heard what OP mentioned but also “you were in my balls” or “your mom should have swallowed you”* which are both also implying you=sperm, when sperm is a little less than half of the genetic contribution and practically 0 of the resource contribution to “you”.
*side note: this insult always gets me biology misconceptions aside, cause wouldn’t “you should have ended up in a sock” be a much better insult than “you should have been swallowed”? Idk, I overthink.
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u/weedils 1d ago
Have you by chance been hanging around men who listen to Terrance Howard?
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u/ArsErratia 1d ago edited 1d ago
what's he done now.
Assuming you mean the Iron Man actor and not a different person, last I heard of him everyone was ignoring him because if you interact with him he tries to convince you
1 x 1 = 2and doesn't stop talking.10
u/weedils 1d ago
Yes its him im talking about. I recently saw a professor dave video about terrance, where he is asked about perserverance or something and he went on a massive tangent talking about how he ”remembers” being a sperm competing against ”his brothers and sisters” to win the egg and become who he is.
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u/Ok-Photograph-5529 1d ago
What an alpha giga chad omega. The most alpha that ever alpha’d.
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u/griddlecan 1d ago edited 11h ago
Love this comment. Reminds me I need to find the study that debunked the original wolf "alpha" study as yet more of authors interpreting their work through their own social biases. Too bad the term is such "catchy" bullshit that it has permeated deep into the U.S. culture.
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u/veermeneer 1d ago edited 16h ago
Give them a break, the people who say this have never had any achievements since.
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u/Awesomeuser90 1d ago
I think it's more so the way that a male releases a lot of sperm at once and is a lot more random in some ways than exactly which egg is being fertilized.
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u/Abbelgrutze 1d ago
I only came across this stupid take here on Reddit, so it strikes me as a relatively new phenomenon. So yeah, I think taking a firm stand against this stupid statement whenever some dude spouts it here could still have an impact.
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u/mountainbreadcycle 1d ago
I remember being taught this in the 90s when I was in my teens. I feel like it’s probably a remnant of the “science” Victorians made up.
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u/Adept_Temperature_68 1d ago
Even if it was chosen it still won. It's not discrediting the eggs participation. Women could easily change the narrative to "your the sperm the egg chose" . Women are allowed to create their own expressions instead of changing men's
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u/hidingintheautumn 1d ago
But you are the sperm and the egg, equally.
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u/stuckinmymatrix 1d ago
Yes and no. While you need two sets of chromosomes, what is phenotypically represented is different from genetics. You may carry genetics that never come to fruition (for yourself).
Also, mitochondrial DNA is exclusively maternal lineage. Goes from mom to babies. Dad's have no role in that.
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u/Ok-Photograph-5529 1d ago
Flipping the script to favor one side isn’t feminist, nor is that what anyone wants to say. What *I’m* saying is that applying human archetypes such as competition and win/lose conditions to cells that have no sentience doesn’t make sense. Applying men’s logic to our biology erases our role in the process.
It’s not either/or. It’s both. You’re the sperm that won AND the egg that chose. Eggs are an active role in that process and it makes up half of you.
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u/stuckinmymatrix 1d ago
I believe this is the most accurate take.
Multiple sperm might attempt to fertilize an egg but the egg will choose one that it connects with.
Then it basically let's out a war cry and blasts the other ones.
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u/Royal-Hornet9813 19h ago
Still, we are neither the egg that chose nor the sperm that was chosen. We're made up of both and much more (most of which provided by the mother's body).
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u/stuckinmymatrix 17h ago
I know. The idea of adding sentience to haploid cells is insane to me as well.
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u/BharatiyaNagarik 1d ago
You might enjoy this article by Emily Martin.
https://web.stanford.edu/~eckert/PDF/Martin1991.pdf
The entire essay is worth reading.