शादी के बाद हर लड़की बहन के समान हो जाती है

(थोड़ा रुक कर)

फिर आप सोचते हैं कि बहिनचोद होना उतना भी बुरा बात नहीं

\----- परकास

यह जोक हम एक हाउस पार्टी में बोलने वाले हैं

​

I belong to North India, and this is something I've been thinking about for a long time.

I spent the most important years of my early adulthood and mid 20's, preparing full-fledged for government exams. No proper backup plan, no real career outside this one dream. Bas ek hi goal tha — ek achhi government job leni hai.

During those years, I qualified for CDS screening, given SSC CGL Mains twice( final merit out) and even RRB NTPC(medically unfit due to color blindness).

On paper, it might sound like I was doing well. I was getting through multiple stages of some of the most competitive exams in the country. But things didn't work out.

Imagine spending years preparing, clearing stages, getting so close to what you wanted, and then watching everything fall apart for different reasons.

At some point, I had to accept reality and start working in the private sector.

But even after getting a private job, I couldn't completely leave preparation behind. I continued preparing alongside my job.

Kyun? Because somewhere in my mind, I still believed that until I got a government job, I hadn't really made it in life.

And that's what I want to talk about.

UP, Bihar aur North India ke bahut se families mein government job sirf ek career option nahi hai. It's almost like a certificate of success.

Sarkari naukri hai toh ladka successful hai. Respect hai. Shaadi ke liye achha rishta hai. Family ko proud feel hota hai.

Private job hai toh salary kitni hai, job secure nahi hai, jaise sawaal.

Why have we made one particular type of employment the ultimate benchmark of a person's worth?

I understand why people want government jobs. Job security matters, especially for families that have struggled financially. A stable income can genuinely change someone's life. I wanted that security too, and I still respect people who work hard for it.

But after giving my porductive years to preparation, qualifying multiple exams, facing repeated disappointments, and continuing the journey even after starting a private job, I've started asking myself a difficult question:

Was I chasing a career I genuinely wanted, or was I chasing society's definition of success?

Maybe it was both.

And I wonder how many other aspirants are in the same situation.

Kitne log apni age ke best years preparation mein laga dete hain? Kitne log apni skills, career growth, relationships aur personal life ko postpone karte rehte hain because they believe that one day, after selection, everything will finally be worth it?

And what happens when selection doesn't happen?

Do those years become worthless? Does a person become a failure just because they couldn't secure a government job?

I don't think so. At least, I'm trying to stop thinking that way about myself.

I am not against government jobs or competitive exams. I'm questioning a mindset in which a person's achievements outside government employment are often treated as secondary.

A person who couldn't clear an exam isn't automatically less capable.

Maybe we need to teach the next generation that government jobs are one respectable career path among many, not the only acceptable destination.

I'm sharing this because I know there are thousands of people in UP, Bihar and across North India who might have gone through something similar but rarely talk about it openly.

I'd genuinely like to hear your perspective:

Why has sarkari naukri become the definition of success in our society?

Source: Hindustan Times

“In the opinion of this court, this is significant, since for purposes of the offence of gang rape it is not necessary that a person acting in furtherance of a common intention must also be amongst the persons who physically commit the offence of rape. For instance, a woman who may not be part of the group of persons who commit the physical offence of rape may yet have acted in furtherance of a common intention to have rape committed upon the victim,” the court said.

Source :- https://www.instagram.com/p/DehIjxtDZk9/?psln=eHdhMHVuMG4ybnJy

I don't know why I am even writing this. But I had to, for future men, for myself, and for other sane men out here. I could have let it go, but I cannot, because humans have survived as groups. We occasionally do have a lunatic roaming around who gets us all killed, which is why everyone needs to know how this world works.

Anyway!

1. For the love of God, stop being a therapist

You see on social media men wasting hours chatting to random women, replying to their attention-seeking messages. Stop! You're wasting your time. An example would be:

"My ex was blah blah blah."

"Oh, you deserve better blah blah blah."

"I am ugly."

"No way, you're beautiful!"

She has thousands of men like you in her DMs, saying the same BS. Stop wasting your time.

1. Raise your standards, and be very vocal about it

How many times have women said they don't date short men? Many! How many times have women said they don't date broke men? Many! How many times have women said they don't date ugly men? Many! Many times! You should do the same and do it mercilessly. Say it online without fear. This brings me to my next point.

1. Stop shaming other men without reason

If a man says he won't date X, Y, or Z, it's completely fair, stop shaming other men. And no, your s*mpy message won't help you get girls, you'll just get used as a shield against other self-respecting men who are vocal about what they want. Stop wasting time!

1. Hold both genders equally accountable

If you don't tolerate men cheating, don't tolerate a woman cheating either. I have seen some guys bring up religion or societal norms to shame men, but not the other way around. Stop!

1. Men are not competitors

Promote brotherhood like sisterhood. If you see a man being cornered at a workplace, help him out. Learn from women, who always help a woman if she ever gets cornered by men. Do the same!

1. Be unapologetically men

It's ok to be men. You don't have to apologise about things you like or things you do. Be yourself, as long as it's lawful.

1. Do not s*mp

Don't waste time and money on camgirls and TikTokers. Build yourself, and yourself only. Always question what you are getting out of a relationship. Is it s*x only? If so, is it worth it? Be unapologetically transactional when needed, there is nothing wrong with that. If women can look for a rich man in a first-world country, you can also look for a beautiful woman in a third-world country. There is no problem.

1. Take care of yourself first

Don't waste time on s*mpy friend circles who worship their queen. Walk alone, or be with men with purpose. Build yourself, only wealth and health are going to help you in the long run. Cut off the BS!

1. Stop Moving to Biased Countries

Believe it or not. There are countries around the world who treat foreign women better than foreign men. Might be racism might be s*xism. Who know! But, try to move to countries where laws are fair for both genders. DO NOT CONTRIBUTE INTO BIASED ECONOMIES!

Love you all, stay safe!