I've been told that losing weight is reccommended ahead of top surgery. I gained maybe an extra ten pounds after starting T, and it has made me almost feel sort of okay some days with looking more like a sort of chubby guy than looking like a stereotypical hourglass shape. I'm extremely anxious about the fear that trying to lose weight is just going put me back where I was before, and make binding to hide the shape more difficult and painful.
I already struggle with exercise and stuff like that because of the size of my chest, and the fact that there's no comfortable solution- binding makes it feel hard to breathe during working out, but if I wear a less constrictive sports bra I have to deal with horrible dysphoria. Workouts also make everything about my chest harder to ignore because of the movement and the way it gets in the way and the back pain.
I just don't know what to do. I was hoping I could finally get more exercise after top surgery but now it sounds like I need to start now, in this awful mental state, with the constant back pain.