I have a few questions that I would love to ask you all and it’s in regards to evangelicals. I’m not here to judge anyone. I just think people in this group would give me the answer or two that I need to make me feel 100% better.

Back in 2017 I made friends with “Tom” and he and his family were evangelicals. His parents did not approve of me because I was “gay” and didn’t go to their church. I was labeled a “tempster” and someone here to “sabotage his salvation”. Tom and I even had fights over it. He later went back to his church and then came to my house reading from the bible about how men shouldn’t be with men. He and I later planned a trip to Europe for a concert. Last minute, his father had to go with us to maybe observe us.

ANYWHO, all of that finally passed and we are actually best friends. Their family religiously fell apart meaning all the siblings broke from their parents beliefs and then later Tom broke as well (which was when we became best friends again for the 6th time) and now I think their family talks from time to time and no one is being shunned.

NOW, this year, at my new job, the same thing has happened. Sorta. There’s a guy at work. He’s super awesome and amazing. However, he can only talk and be friends at work. And it’s just so upsetting to me. He can only go for food before work while in the work uniform or after work in the uniform which I’m assuming he’s able to use as an alibi in case he is questioned. He later removed me from Snapchat (which isn’t that big of a deal but when I questioned him, it was a deflection).

I’ve asked to hangout on numerous occasions over the past year and it’s only happened once. But at work, he sits next to me like we are best friends, he’ll give me shoulder massages from time to time, we laugh, share videos, it’s like we are really good friends. But he’s made it apparent there is no way possible we can be friends outside of work. He can’t like any of my FB posts (I’m assuming he’s worried about a digital footprint). He always deflects. This came up or this did, or he only hangs out with his 3 friends from church because they have the same beliefs, etc. We talk about religion from time to time. I really try to keep my mouth shut because 1) I have no right to judge anyone and 2) that’s something he’ll have to deal with on his own. But I’ll sometimes bring up stories from the friend above just to show how it worked out / what he experienced and how hard it was for him, etc. Essentially saying you can leave religion and take Christ with you.

Anywho, can anyone help me out with this? I really struggle with it but whew, I just don’t understand why individuals from this religion in particular come to me and act this way and it ends up causing me so much pain and sometimes become depressed. Maybe they’re needing help but are so avoidant and have walls up due to religious conditioning they don’t know how? I know they don’t mean to hurt me… or at least I don’t think so.

Any words of wisdom or advice for me would be super beneficial. Thank you.

I am currently in personal nightmares from these people. I am Jewish. Nothing I do makes them stop or be quiet. Whether it's Online or in person, I cannot get away from them once they start. It is very stressful feeling like I have to walk on eggshells and not just be who i am, I am very new to this type of experience. This isn't the type of Christian people I grew up around (It appears they have gotten very intense? I could be wrong).

The only thing that even seems to work is telling them aggressively to f*ck themselves and that they believe in a fake book and just getting very nasty. (I say this only to make them stop otherwise I have no problem or thoughts about what anyone believes in, I don't think about other people's beliefs unless I am forced into a struggle session about it).

I have only recently found out about their plan to get "the Jews" back to Israel so we can die and they can get JC back.

If anyone sees this and has experience getting them to act like normal people (meaning no explaining myself to me, no preaching, no bible, just keep it in their fucking pants and act normal) I would really appreciate it.

This applies to any types of Christians that behave like this , who either hate Jews , or fetishize Jews to get to Israel (I am American), or any version that just preaches prostyltizines does "chrstianese" speak. Catholic people I have found don't do this really.

Thank you in advance.

I hope I did not offend anyone I just wrote this stream of consciousness.

Curious how many of you explored your sexuality fluidly (or exclusively) after leaving church. How did you navigate that after hearing punitive and extreme messages around sex, dating and relationships in the church.

I’m kinda going through it at the moment at age 29 and would be curious to hear people’s stories.

Hi everyone,
I’m currently deconstructing and feeling incredibly isolated. To give some context, I still consider myself a Christian, but I’m actively untangling myself from the culty, purity culture filled, toxic environment I grew up in.
Because of this, I've had to completely deconstruct not just my religious beliefs, but my political ideology too. I’m a raging liberal and a proud feminist now, which has made my current social circle impossible to navigate. Almost everyone in my life right now is super complementarian and Republican. I just can't handle it anymore.
I am having an incredibly difficult time finding friends or a community who get it. To make matters harder, I get actual panic attacks just walking into a church building right now. Even if I know a church is safe, egalitarian, and completely aligns with my current values, my body just reacts with pure anxiety.
Has anyone else managed to find or build a community outside of the traditional church building while still holding onto a progressive faith? How do you cope with the loneliness when your entire old support system feels unsafe?
I would love any advice, book recommendations, or even just some virtual validation that I'm not crazy. Thank you so much for reading. :)

Except when:

Slavery is permitted and regulated: Exodus 21:2–11; Leviticus 25:44–46; Ephesians 6:5; Colossians 3:22.

Commands to destroy entire populations: Deuteronomy 7:1–2; 20:16–18; 1 Samuel 15:2–3.

Prescribes the death penalty for religious and sexual offences: Leviticus 20:10; Deuteronomy 13:6–10; 22:20–24.

Tells women to remain silent in church: 1 Corinthians 14:34–35; 1 Timothy 2:11–12.

Restrictions and rules about clothing: Leviticus 11:7–12; 19:19; Deuteronomy 22:11.

Tells you to sell everything you own and give it to the poor: Mark 10:17–27; compare Luke 12:33.

Tells you to hate your family in order to follow Jesus: Luke 14:26.

Claims divorce and remarriage constitute adultery: Mark 10:11–12; Luke 16:18; Matthew 19:9.

Tells you to never to resist evil or retaliate: Matthew 5:38–42; Romans 12:17–21.

Tells you to obey governing authorities: Romans 13:1–7.

Endorses the idea that women are subordinate to men: Ephesians 5:22–24; 1 Corinthians 11:3.

Like Dan McClelland forcefully explains here.