Public healthcare seems like one of those places that attract an extremely weird mix of caring people and utterly ruthless and self-centered people.

I have no real evidence for this but I have seen it enough to think that it can't just be a coincidence.

So I have been thinking why that is, I mean the motivation of the empathetic people is obviously because they want to do good, but it isn't as obvious with the others.

I think the motivation for someone who is narcissistic is three things.

1. They are attracted to the power they have over the patients.

2. They gain the status that you gain from being a doctor or a caretaker.

3. And it allows them to create a fake image of a morally superior person.

Basically they can be a total piece of shit at home but nobody outside will ever believe that such a "good" person could ever do harm.

It is the perfect cover for people with raw sewage for souls.

Cold truth 🥀

The right people won't require you to destroy your peace just to earn their respect.

Protect your peace. Know your worth. 🖤🎯

For years I thought the way to make people like me was to be useful. I’d help with moves, answer texts at midnight, cover shifts. I was “the nice guy,” and somehow still the first person forgotten when plans were made.

Then I came across the Ben Franklin effect. Franklin had a rival in the legislature who disliked him. Instead of trying to win him over with kindness, Franklin asked to borrow a rare book from him. The rival lent it, and afterwards became one of Franklin’s strongest allies.

The idea is that people don’t help you because they like you. They like you because they helped you. Our brain hates inconsistency, so if I did something for you, I must have a reason, and the easiest reason is “I like this person.”

So I started experimenting:

• A coworker I barely spoke to: I asked, “Hey, which coffee place do you recommend near here?” Two weeks later he was inviting me to lunch.
• A neighbor who never said hi: I asked to borrow a small tool. Now we chat every time we cross paths.
• A friend who was drifting away: I asked for her opinion on a decision I was making. She texted me more in that week than in the previous three months.

A few rules I learned:

1. Keep the favor small and easy. If it’s a burden, it backfires.
2. Always say thank you, and mean it. Appreciation locks in the effect.
3. Don’t overdo it. Constantly asking makes you look needy, not interesting.

I’m not saying stop being kind. I’m saying stop thinking kindness only flows one way. Letting people help you makes them feel valued, and that’s what builds the connection.

Has anyone else noticed this? Did someone ever grow closer to you after you asked them for something small?

I know this seems like the beginning of one of those really bad Tiktok AI stories but I am in desperate need of your help. My workplace is very toxic and there's no proper structure which means that my juniors can influence decisions that the boss makes just because they've been employed longer. It's so toxic it is borderline psychological warfare. For instance; my boss would give me an instruction to relay to another employee and that employee just executed what they felt like doing. When the boss asked how it was going that employee told the boss my instruction as is and how they executed something else and the boss basically rolled over.

I'm not really familiar with all the rules here and I'm afraid I might get a strike from the mods so, that's all I'll say on the examples. Also, I don't want to give away too much detail in case one of them has Reddit. Anyways, I need help on how to survive psychological warfare at work for just 2 years. Please don't give me the oh "grey rock" or that bs teachers tell kids who are bullied and don't want to get involved. Be as unhinged as you'd like. Dm me too!

PS: I AM ACTUALLY BEGGING FOR SOMEONE TO HELP.

People don't always miss you. Sometimes, they miss the attention, validation, and comfort you gave them.

The moment you stop providing those things, their behavior changes.

Learn to notice the difference.

Malice is rarely an inherent trait; it is a blind defensive response. People act cruelly because they are trapped by their trauma, emotional vulnerability, and total lack of self-awareness. They are easily manipulated by their environment and driven by subconscious fear.

Once you decode this psychological mechanism, your anger naturally dissolves into detached kindness. It’s not about submission, but a conscious choice to rise above their projections and see their vulnerability for what it truly is.

What is abuse? What from of abuse are there and what are the tactics of most abuser? What makes you a target for destruction? And what type of personality engages in abuse?