In 2015 my mother died, I (M) was 22 at the time and an only child back then. My father continued providing for me through law school and graduated in 2017, I did not have a job that time because I failed the bar exam the same year, I finally got a job in 2019 and took the bar the same year and passed in 2020.
During that time, our relationship was rocky. He was dismissive of my bouts with depression and sadness while battling his own. He would usually lash at me whenever he had any fights with the women he dated at the time.
Once, due to a fight he even told me that he can’t wait to live separately with me.
In 2021, he left our apartment to live in the province (his choice). While living away, not once did he initiate checking up on me and even forgot to greet me happy birthday once. I make it a point to message him or call him at least once a week to check up on him. He also mentioned while living in the province that I abandoned him. I do not get it.
In 2022, I found out from other people that he was in a relationship and got his girlfriend pregnant. He never told me those info in person and got mad at him. He dismissed my feelings of betrayal and anger.
From 2021 up until this year I always make it a point to visit him at least once or twice a month or once every other month as long as schedule permits. I felt unwelcomed whenever I go there. He never initiated any conversations aside from how are you. It never felt that he was interested in me or my adult life.
Due to a recent incident, I stopped talking and texting him. Given the space I have now, I thought that my father maybe harbored hatred against me without me knowing. Whenever I did something bad, I always apologized and tried to make up to him. There will be good days, but in general our relationship got cold ever since he got a new family.
I will be seeking therapy soon from what I have been experiencing. I tried to think of things I did that my own father hate me. This is really sad and disappointing.