It sucks that guys get gaslit about dating struggles

[u/racecar67885]

I’m 22 years old and straight up… Dudes just aren’t allowed to talk about any male dating struggle especially the struggles surrounding looks. They get made fun of or told just go workout and fix yourself. Why are guys the only people who are not allowed to complain about anything. My cousin is 18 and my uncle gave him the work on yourself and girls will give you a chance talk. He did all of that and developed actual hobbies, still gets rejected because he is short for his age (5’2.) Once no other advice worked he was finally told “oh it’s because of the stuff you repost on social media” yeah I’m sure his beliefs are such a big deal. Hell, I also get rejected a lot despite expanding my personality. I’m not saying anyone else should be blamed for shortcomings, I’m just saying we should be able to vent lol

[u/Smrtihara]

You are so utterly wrong.

Men do hardly nothing but complain about that. Look at all the dedicated subs about it. And every single dating sub.

Also, I’m not a handsome man and Im below average height. I have never, ever had any problems romantically. It’s been incredibly easy.

I attribute that to understanding early in my youth that everyone has their audience. No matter your particular composition of features, there’s someone who thinks you’re hot. Be yourself to your fullest and never try to attract other than the ones that can be a match for you.

And please, please communicate with women like they are people, not potential dates.

[u/Pegsareus → u/Smrtihara]

This is actually cruel and disrespectful to say, there are ugly people out there, you setting people up saying shit like this.

[u/hither_nor_thither → u/Pegsareus]

If Stephen Hawking could get a wife, then proceed to cheat on her, then I don't think it's looks that matter.

[u/hi_lol7 → u/Smrtihara]

let's know ur height

[u/Pelican_meat → u/hi_lol7]

He says it’s below average. Average is 5’7” or shorter, depending on where OP is.

[u/Sphericalline13 → u/Smrtihara]

All I hear any time I see one of these posts is someone who doesn't 1) understand how other people perceive them, and 2) has no social-emotional intelligence. Dating (finding dates and connecting with people early on, not commenting on finding someone that's a match for life) is really not that hard. I say this as someone who sucked at it until he was 22 and basically didn't date until that age.

[u/AStinkyPickle → u/Smrtihara]

I feel like this doesn't have enough upvotes. To add, I think that people in general have a hard time not taking rejection personally. You can't force someone to like you and can't please everyone so there's no use to really stress yourself out over it.

I won't say it isn't hard out here trying to find someone, but it's not explicitly a man issue. I mostly have found people online and the ratio of men to women is absurdly imbalanced, so a lot of what you put out as a man falls on deaf ears. The flip side is women get so impossibly overwhelmed with messages that its impossible to get to them all sometimes.