r/Botswana • u/DollarbillGives • 3d ago
Discussion What went wrong?
I recently went around asking girls what they prefer or want in a man, and 90% of them said money.
My question is: What led women to become this desperate for money?
Just the other day, I met this one hun who saw me carrying a plastic bag. She was like, “Hey, can you buy me one too? I’ll thank you.”
I was like, “Thank you how?”
She replied, “Don’t act like you don’t know what I mean.”
It was clear that she had done this plenty of times before. In my innocence, I actually went to the shops with her and bought her a plastic bag full of the goods she wanted or claimed she needed.
To my surprise, she then asked, “Okay, where do you stay, or should we do it in the car?”
Mind you, this was a UB first-year student!
Honestly, I was disappointed. I asked her why she was doing that and told her she should respect herself. Her response was “This is Gaborone ,am just a girl "
A few minutes later, a call came in from her boyfriend, and she answered it like it was nothing.
I tried to save her, but you know what they say: When she's gone, she's gone forever.
Another thing that didn't sit well with me was how little it seemed to take for her to agree to sleep with someone. I mean, if she saw me a man who, I would say, looks like he's doing well for himself and all she asked for was, say, some sitshebo, then it makes you wonder whether she's used to doing this for even less, or sometimes for free. I Obviously didn't sleep with her cause I knew her body count is double digits and I would be disrespecting myself...The way she looked at me like I was crazy or something 😭😭
My question is: What went wrong?
I genuinely want to understand.
I then went on to conduct my survey, and oh Lord, the things I found out! Gaborone is indeed dirty. I won't mention some of the things I discovered here, but all I can say is that most of the girls I asked said they wanted money from a man.
And these were women from different walks of life: clubbing girls, church girls, insurance girls, and others.
So, what exactly is happening in our society?
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u/NoVegetable8692 3d ago
🙂As a hun I'm disappointed in this girl 😭😭
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u/DollarbillGives 3d ago
I honestly don't know how we can solve this issue cause it seems like it's a lifestyle... The sad part is that whenever you try to correct their ways they label you a bhari
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u/LetsTradeBw 3d ago
On today`s episode of things that never happened.
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u/DollarbillGives 3d ago
Even the ones who sell for six pack of icetropez and savannah are under extreme conditions?
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u/Ishmael_The_Ghost 3d ago
Well truth be told we don't know if that's true or not 🤧.
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u/DollarbillGives 3d ago
Ask yourself this ? What benefit would this post be for me if am lying ? My hope in posting this is to at least have 1 girl or 2 change their ways only
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u/LetsTradeBw 3d ago
Does this mean u are only realizing now that some people are under extreme situations to do anything for the bread ?Its not only girls even guys nowadays will do anything.
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u/DollarbillGives 3d ago
Nah bro I tried to talk to that girl and offer her something sustainable and she called me a bhari ...with a straight face ...aint no extreme situation she's in just lazy to work
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u/DollarbillGives 3d ago
Yeah right ...dude we have young sisters , daughters... imagine someone ea Ting your young sister ka 30 pula ....if we don't call out this behaviour who will? You might enjoy the market if you're benefiting from it but then karma is a nasty bitch one day it will be someone close to u or home
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u/Bulky_Ring_3756 3d ago
Come on dude, modern culture literally revolves around chasing the bag, sooo many people around town would probably answer with some form of "I'll do anything to make money"
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u/0324o 2d ago
I'm convinced a huge number of people who went through university here, maybe close to half, have traded sex for money or things at some point. And I think the root cause is how we value money. In Botswana, money has become the only currency. There's no social currency anymore. Nobody does a favour, builds a network or helps someone out expecting it to come back later. If you do something for me, you want money. If I do something for you, I want money. It starts at home. Parents expect a cut of the student allowance, which is barely enough to live on in the first place. So students do whatever it takes to keep up a lifestyle they can't afford. Plenty of parents know their daughter isn't working and must be getting money somewhere, but they stay quiet as long as the money keeps coming. Then when she ends up a victim of GBV, suddenly they knew nothing and she has "disgraced the family". Young men aren't immune either. Some get pulled into "gay for pay" arrangements at university, and the shame and secrecy keep them stuck in it long after. And look at the culture we're in. When bogadi is treated as payment for a daughter and defended with "it's our culture", what message does that send? If money changes hands for a person, it starts to look like a purchase. No wonder so many young women learn to measure their worth in money and goods. GBV is a symptom of all this, and everyone's pretending otherwise. We react to each case instead of changing the culture that feeds it. It's a lot of pressure being young in Botswana. It doesn't have to be this way.
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u/Dangerous_Law1678 2d ago
Unfortunately this is a sad reality of life nowadays. Life is tough, and this pushes people to put aside their morals. The fact is, these girls know what they are doing isn't good. This is why it is so hard to find a good, genuine partner nowadays. This problem exists globally. I'm currently studying abroad, and I see the same traits in the local girls where I am.
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u/No_Conference_1532 2d ago
wher are u studying at..are u in a white dominant country? cuz if its white girls..
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u/Dangerous_Law1678 2d ago
In Southeast Asia. Even went out on a few dates with some girls here. But eish ba isa madi kopele too much. One time a girl literally asked me if I'm a rich Nigerian prince 🤦🏽♂️
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u/No_Conference_1532 2d ago
thats crazy bro, yea asians especially chinese are very money orientated. but i was under the assumpation that most asians are white supermacists hence they are kinda racist to black ppl or its heavily shunned upon to date people f colour like us..
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u/Suspicious-Menu3413 North-east 2d ago
I wouldn't say that Chinese women are money oriented in the (put aside their morals kind of way), I'd give that title to Thai and Filipina women.
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u/Technical_Introvert0 3d ago
That's fine.. everyone is entitled to what they like.. I just stopped looking locally.. you are also entitled to not like local women.. just as they are entitled to their desire for funding from a man .. I feel like we should not be bothering ourselves with these issues in this age.. just steer clear of such girls.. you have Zimbabwean sisters who are far more likely to make good wives..Or just be like some guys and get you a white girly..
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u/DollarbillGives 3d ago
Yeah I hear you ...I didn't think of it like that ...Cause recently I have been finding myself trapped in trying to fix certain issues only to notice that no one gives a shit
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u/Technical_Introvert0 3d ago
I reached that point long ago. No one cares.. trying to change Botswana is futile.. we must awake to this reality
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u/peterjohnvernon936 3d ago
What did you think women needed men for, company? Women have children, children need food and shelter therefore women need food and shelter. If a woman is going to have children for a man, the man should be able to help feed and shelter than child.
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u/DollarbillGives 3d ago
Wow people think differently...
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u/peterjohnvernon936 3d ago
Not a matter of think differently. In nature, all animals that practice pair bonding both parents are responsible to provide.
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u/Wonderful-Contact747 3d ago
That’s genuinely better than the married men who cheat on their wives with other men😭
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u/Illustrious_Brush588 3d ago
I think its social media... Some girls will see others going out, drinking, posting "dumpies" and wish that was them and unfortunately they cant do that, either because they are from a poor background and other times its because they dont have a man to fund that lifestyle they eventually. The worst part its so easy to find a man to fund your lifestyle than a job, just post a cute pic full body and greasy old guy will comment bs.
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u/No_Conference_1532 2d ago
intsagram done ruined society bro, its diffcult to get a girl who likes u for u and wont demand cash in university, like geniunely, im a first year in UB, and damn the things i see are crazy, i usually pull up to my a friend of mines dorm block, she is a girl, and i se old men coming outta their nissans and fortunters to take these 1st or 2nd yar girls, and almost everytime i pull up to the dorm there are at least 5 different luxury cars with old men taking girls from the dorms, them girls are always with different old men, and their lifestyle has actaully improved, they got expesnive iphones and swagger as in clothes, im scared my friend might get tempted and go along with such,
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u/Top_Body5901 3d ago
Go phesekane hela monna.
Tota tota Gaborone e phesekane.
Ke neng nkase makale ga motlhomongwe a kare wa go neela o dumetse e be o fitlhela selo se se phesakaneng.
😭 Re mo mathateng. Mme Gaborone ke ko ga pereko tota go bua nnete ee tlhamaletseng
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u/Budget-Captain-1368 3d ago
It’s hustle culture, survival of the fittest, no time for morality when you need money for rent,transport and basic survival. Hook ups are transactional. If the allowances were enough they might not go down that route.
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u/L3T50 Gaborone 3d ago
Oh wow, Christian puritanical nonsense, on r/Botswana, bit late to the party, took y'all long enough.
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u/ByAnyMeansNecessary0 Kweneng 3d ago
Banyana ba Gaborone ke ba monate hela. Have fun with them, then find a village girl when its time to get serious
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u/elmo5994 3d ago
A village girl will play you my guy. Maybe if you get her from some remote village.
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u/ByAnyMeansNecessary0 Kweneng 3d ago
Ke raya bone bao. Ba ba sa itseng gore Ice Tropez le Savanna ke eng, ba inwela motitielo hela😅
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u/Dangerous_Law1678 2d ago
Hahaha! O mpolaa ka motitelo. You do have a point, though. For a long time I have found myself gravitating towards village girls. They are so simple and really nice to chill with. They usually have a lot of interesting stories and perspectives about life as well. I wouldn't consider myself a city guy, though; I did grow up close to the city and have spent a lot of time in the city (both Gaborone and Francistown), and I even schooled in Francistown at some point. But I have also schooled in a very rural village and the girls from there were really nice sweethearts.
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u/Specific-Forever4685 3d ago
Mathata gotlhe le banna ke tlala hela malatsi a. Not many men unconditionally provide anymore without a woman asking constantly, a provider should put a woman into submission but if its conditional then woman start finding conditions to what they can offer too. Banna le bone ba hustla mo basading. Ga gona mosadi o sa batleng lelwapa but if you are constantly surrounded by tlala ya men and woman go tshwana, men who arnt putting in as much work anymore, woman who who arnt doing any work e nna survival of the fittest. I live in a village. Trust me things are as bad in villages. There’s no winning anywhere these days.
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u/Greedy-Swing5279 3d ago
Man's should've done father Future's work and sent shawty to the shadow realm. It's a cold world we live in.
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