I am (64f) probably going to delete this post. because I donāt know if anyone in my family will recognize themselves, but I am really angry at the moment and need to get this off my chest. My parents are both 84, and in fairly good health for their age. But theyāre starting to show some signs of decline, which is normal. Particularly my mother and her blood pressure. To say Iām worried is an understatement
But thatās not the real problem. My younger sister has a daughter who is 34. For the past 12 years, my niece has been living with an effing grifter who works minimum wage jobs and basically depends on my parents to support them. (I have so many more rants about that situation, but that would have to be a whole other post š¤¬) Which they do - support them almost 100%. My niece does not work because she has 5 1/2-year-old twins, one of who is autistic. My parents adore their great grandchildren, and I know those kids have brought a lot of joy to their life. And because they want the kids to have a somewhat decent life, they are providing a home for my niece and her grifter to live in so the kids have a home, (otherwise, they would be homeless) my mother gives her $2000 a month to help pay her bills on, they pay her phone bill, her insurance, the propane to heat the house. My niece and her grifter pay zero rent. My parents even paid for the cars they drive. The grifter works a minimum wage job and pays for his pot, his gas, and his own phone bill.
But thatās just the background. The twins started kindergarten this fall. And they are not potty trained. Yes, you read that right ā they going to be six years old in the spring and are still not potty trained. Because the house they live in is just a stoneās throw away from my parents, my 84-year-old parents have become their free babysitters as well. My niece uses my parents when she wants to have a ādate night,ā or whenever she has a crisis or just needs to grocery shopā and do you know who has to clean these kids dirty diapers? Yup, my 84-year-old parents.
Apparently, the schools are trying to work with the kids, because obviously they donāt need children who are not potty trained that they have to clean up after, but thereās no follow-through at home, so the kids are not really learning much of anything. I do understand that my great nephew is autistic and itās going to take him longer, but the little girl is just fine and she shouldāve been trained three years ago. And my nieces take home all this? She says the kids will give her a sign when they are ready to be potty trained. You donāt think being almost six years old and in kindergarten isnāt a fucking sign??? š¤¬š¤¬š¤¬
My mother doesnāt say anything to my niece because she wants to ākeep the peaceā and my sister is a narcissistic ass who has enabled my niece her entire life, and and who throws her hands up in the air and says, āwhat can you do?ā when anyone asks her why doesnāt she say or do something. My sister is very tight with her money, so as long as my parents are paying for everything, sheās perfectly fine with the status quo. The kids are in school all week long, and the little boy has to go to a special school for Autism in the afternoons, which is why my niece doesnāt have a job, because she has to take the kids to school in the morning and then pick him up at noon and take him to the afternoon school and then pick them all up and later in the afternoon. And again, I get that, I donāt wanna see the little boy not get the help that he needs because life with my niece and her grifter is going to be difficult enough.
But my mother is worn down. Her blood pressure is up. Sheās starting to show some issues that have me concerned, and the only person who seems to be worried is me. My dad would stand up to them, but heās so worn down by my momās refusal to make waves that he just gives up and let her do whatever she wants. Not to mention he is worn out taking care of his property and home. So while these kids are in school every week, my parents are now watching them every weekend because āmy niece needs her rest.ā I am livid.
Did I mention this grifter ran up $35,000 in legal bills filing for custody of a 14 year old daughter with his ex-wife (oh yeah, he just got divorced this spring - heās been married to someone else. during the entire 13 years he has been living off my parents), finding out in court that heās not even the biological father of this girl, and he went for sole custody just to get even with the ex- wife, and he GOT it??? We still canāt figure that one out. So yeah, now my niece and the grifter have a 14-year-old kid, they are living in a 1000 square foot home. with two bedrooms, and guess where the twins are sleeping?? In an oversized walk-in closet off the parents room. Because the 14-year-old needed a private bedroom because she has ātrauma.ā Two five and a half-year-old kids. In a closet. (And yes, there is a window in the closet, but itās still a closet.). Now the grifter is working on my niece to talk to my parents about getting help with the legal bills.
Yeah, this is why Iām stressed. I am trying to put up boundaries and stay away from the whole situation, but when I see my mother miserable, it is really hard. And with the holidays coming up, Iām not really sure I can sit across a Thanksgiving table from my lazy niece and her grifter and keep a civil tongue.
And for the record, if anybody accuses this of being AI, feel free to contact me. I wish I could say this was made up. Unfortunately, itās just that crappy of a situation.