What did you do for your 30th birthday?

[u/tea_lyfe]

I'm undecided and it's in two days. Originally I did decide to have a small gathering over a meal with my partner, younger brother, two aunts and cousin. My parents are dead and we have a very small family now. But now I'm more anxious/stressed thinking about it as there is bad history/blood in the past from family arguments and really awful stuff which has caused trauma.

So I'm thinking, do I want to spend a meal together potentially thinking about all that stuff?

As well as thinking that, I'm also feeling sad that my parents aren't around to celebrate my 30th with me. I was thinking of making the meal smaller by having the meal with my younger brother and partner who are the two most important people in my life. I still want to get dressed up ( I even bought a dress!) and go out.

My two closest friends said they'd take me to a nice bar afterwards that night as well. I know it's silly but I'm getting that FOMO feeling, I'm jealous of people who can have big celebrations with tons of family and friends. Something I don't really have unfortunately, I just want to feel like I can celebrate this is with family as I miss them a lot but I can't and it's sad.

[u/LetMeEatCakes]

Think I went to the bar with a few friends - nothing big or memorable

[u/DirectGoose → u/LetMeEatCakes]

Same.

[u/Uhhyt231]

Everything you named sound super nice! Get dressed up and be with your loved ones. It’s ok that some new things will be bittersweet

[u/ExaminationQuirky725]

That sounds like a great way to spend your 30th bday. I tried to do a big weekend thing with friends, about 8 of us rented a ski chalet but unfortunately we went into another covid lockdown right before the weekend so we didn't really get to go out and do anything.

[u/Effective-Bug-8554]

I rented a boat for a few hours and had a picnic on the water with friends.

[u/km8907]

Went to Disney with my family. Don't need to have a huge party, all that matters is being with the people you love.

[u/lsp2005]

I have a small family. When I turned 30 it was 11 people including myself, my husband, and I had just given birth. So we had everyone including my newborn over for Chinese food and cake. The 11 include my in laws and my husband’s family. 

I am really sorry that you have lost your parents. Perhaps going to their gravesite or spending some time in nature could help you feel closer to them. When I am missing family members like that, I like to go to the beach and watch the waves in the autumn/winter. I find that really soothing.

[u/kgberton]

Honestly I don't remember. I am not that into my birthday. The last two years I've gone to a park with dim sum with the homies. Before that, some bar somewhere?

[u/LastGlass1971]

I spent my 30th birthday at my grandfather-in-law's funeral. Not recommended 0/10.

[u/CurieuzeNeuze1981]

I took a group of people out to a fancy diner and afterwords we went to party in the city. The wine was included in the diner so I was drunk by the time we left the restaurant.

Someone stole my phone while dancing, I caught him (surprisingly, given my state) and I had to give a statement to the police. They were glad to hear I had left my car at the restaurant.

[u/samanthasamuels22]

I went to visit family out of town and went to a boat dinner with them. I wanted to spend it alone, but i let them convince me otherwise. I still wish i would have spent it alone and went went somewhere else and not visited them. Do exactly what you want so you will have no regrets. You only turn 30 once and i think this is the best birthday of them all

[u/Krytens]

I sat on my couch and cried because everything in my city was shut down (March 2020 lol). I was supposed to go on a solo trip to Paris, though. Honestly, having a nice meal with the people you love most sounds wonderful. And why not take your friends up on going out afterwards? That sounds like a great time to me!

[u/_lmmk_]

Went to a dueling piano bar with a bunch of friends, one brought a custom cake

[u/BayYawnSay]

My husband and I are the same age and our birthdays are three weeks apart. We threw a big party, camp out style, hired one of our favorite local bands to play and I cooked all the food for it. It was so much fun. We invited about 30 or 40 people, can't remember exactly (it was 13 years ago). But it was the night of a super moon and we had a great time.

[u/Hoo_Who]

Oh, jeez. I splurged on the penthouse suite of a fancy hotel downtown. Invited my friends to dinner, a couple bars, dancing, and stay at the hotel with me.

One of the newer friends decided she wanted to go to a drag show instead of dancing. I told her that's not what I wanted to do, but somehow we ended up there anyway. Then the dumb bitch made all these weird snoring/moaning sounds all night long while we all tried to sleep. It was...pretty lame.

That was over 10 years ago. Now I celebrate my birthday with a solo sunrise hike. I do it every year as a way to celebrate my time on this earth and just...start the next year grounded. It's my favorite thing to do now :)

[u/Throwaway927338]

Ate ice cream on the couch with my husband as our margarita dinner got canceled because I found out I was pregnant earlier that afternoon 💛

Didn’t go as planned, but was easily the most memorable birthday of my life. Whatever will bring you some joy and memories is what I recommend. Happy early birthday!

[u/katdacat]

I went to Vegas for the first time with two celebs a few months before my 30th. My childhood best friend flew down because she was also turning 30 and it was so fun! And then for my actual birthday, I went to sushi with a few friends.

I’m usually very lowkey about birthdays though because I get so stressed about asking people to do an extra activity in December. I also have a pretty small family and you’re so right, it can feel very lonely during these major milestones in life. My parents are both still alive so it’s definitely not the same, but they’re divorced so it’s a whole thing. I think a small dinner would be fun! See how you feel during dinner and if you want to go home and be in your feelings, you can do just that. It’s your birthday and you can cry if you want to, as they say lol

Happy birthday, by the way! And welcome to your 30s! 💖

[u/toblisafunke]

I took myself on a trip to the west coast. Stayed with a different friend in Seattle, Monterrey, and San Diego for a period over 10 days!! On my actual birthday I took myself to Carmel by the sea, window shopped, got myself an iced coffee and French lunch and hung out on the beach. My friends treated me to an Italian dinner.

When I got back to my home, I spent a day going out in the Korean part of town and went to the Korean spa, got kbbq and karaoke!!

I say do it up!!! I have no regrets !

[u/oheightnineeight]

Took the day off work, played Civ V, ate Thai food.

[u/whiskeyandritalin341]

Y'all are living large and I love it. I sat in my apartment and cried because I worked that day and one of my patients was absolutely foul to me after I did so much to try and help them. I cleaned myself up long enough to walk to Rita's for a sweet treat and went to bed early.

[u/benhargrove1966]

Most people don’t have some giant celebration - dinner and bar with friends is what most people do and what I did. Why not have dinner with your brother, partner and the close friends you mentioned, then go out after? Sounds like a great night!

[u/chaunceythebear]

My first child was 2 days old on my 30th birthday, so I probably cried a lot and put cream on my chapped nipples. So the next year, when we turned (3)1, we both did cake smash photo shoots. It was really fun.

[u/AffectSubstantial673]

Planned a whole birthday for myself and then got the flu 🤒 stayed home and enjoyed decorations, food and cake with my kids 😂

[u/drgirlfriend69]

Broke and in grade school at the time-got a whole cheese pizza all for myself.

[u/Advanced-Guava9419]

I can't lie, my life hasn't turned out as I would've expected growing up, especially how I would've planned my 30th birthday years and years ago. My dad passed away right after I graduated high school and I haven't had a relationship with my mom since before then. Since then, I've moved far from where I grew up and don't have a ton of friends here.

But for my 30th, my husband planned a surprise trip to tulsa, Oklahoma on my birthday weekend to see one of my favorite bands growing up since they were playing and very rarely played together at the time. they've since started touring again and have played where we live 😂 still a cherished memory and loved that he tried to make it special for me

[u/doxydecahedron]

Celebrated with another friend by renting a villa in Tulum with a bunch of friends. It was a great and memorable trip!

[u/Pleasant-Complex978]

Vegas

[u/Another_ADHD_Girl]

I was supposed to hike the Juan de Fuca trail for my 30th but it was closed.

I was going through a really bad depressive episode around that time, but husband had my mom, Nana and aunt fly across the country to surprise me. With both my dog (to bring her back to me) and our elder family dog. I was definitely annoyed as I just wanted to stay in bed, but I'm glad they did.

For my 31st birthday, I had also planned to hike the Juan de Fuca trail but I was 37 weeks pregnant 😅 so my husband and I did a day of dates. First was checking in at the prenatal clinic for baby's heartbeat, then brunch, then coffee shop, then beach with snacks. Then a nice dinner together at home. It was the perfect last birthday before becoming a mom.