Okay, so like, hear me out.

I was born a woman, and raised as a woman, I am now 20 years old. My girlfriend kinda thinks I might be intersex though.

Her current points are that on hormone tests, it says I produce more androgens than I should, I can’t orgasm at all (I have tried legitimately EVERYTHING, that’s not exaggeration), I have very small breasts, I have a somewhat masculine face and a deeper voice, and that I just simply do not have periods more than like once a year.

My counterpoint: it’s probably just PCOS, my mother is a nurse so she probably would’ve realized if I was intersex when I was younger?

But we’re talking the other day and apparently it is unique to me that if I’m in the mood, I feel it more in my ass than I do by my clitoris or vagina. Like, up my ass, it’s a sort of pleasant buzz. Similar to the clit but a little stronger. She thinks maybe I have like a prostate or something and wants me to get it checked out so I know if I need to have cancer screenings there too.

so like… ladies?? does anyone else experience this??

For me, it was “I don’t know if she’s the one because she has ADHD” who also said “she says I pressure her into sex but she’s mentally ill so her judgement is wrong” Right, right… /s.

Tell me some stupid shit men have said about women on Reddit!

Went on a couple dates with a guy who seems really great. He used to be in a five year relationship. I noticed going through his Instagram that there are a couple girls from high school and this local small influences that he would like many selfies and photos of them in revealing clothes. I’m only concerned about this because it appears he was liking this stuff while in the old relationship. It seems like if he really was in a committed relationship he shouldn’t be giving these other girls attention

I went to a pretty comfortable school in the suburbs. If anybody has seen “Carrie” then it’s obvious I’m asking about Chris Hargensen. The 2026 Carrie miniseries has women posting on social media about how realistic the high school cruelty is depicted. I just can’t wrap my head around that behavior being accepted in reality. Catty bullying ok yeah …but, “let’s film the new naive girl freaking out and let’s throw tampons at her and put it on instagram” level of bullying would make any person with empathy feel disgusted. Maybe my school was too sheltered? If this happened in my HS, the girls in the locker room would have helped her. Make fun of her after… maybe. But actively shame her ? How cruel are teenage girls really ? Is it accurate ?

Title. Was it something your partner did, something you discovered on your own, some mental block you managed to overcome? Are some people just unable to do it? Asking as a 21yo woman who has never orgasmed in her life.

! I'M REALLY SORRY IF THIS IS THE WRONG SUB I JUST DON'T KNOW WHERE ELSE TO ASK !

So basically, I'm 19m, gay, and a semi friend (19f) asked me out. I'm really bad at saying no, and I just need help knowing what to say without hurting any feelings. (I know the obvious answer is just to say no, but she's really sweet and I would feel bad if I hurt her feelings/I am not good at saying no)

I am desperately looking for advice here. Ask Docs gave me nothing and the only thing my GP suggested was upping my dosage of Zoloft.

In the weeks after my period (usually the first two weeks) I get weird digestive episodes. They always start with a bout of diarrhea, which then gives way to intense nausea and pain in my lower abdomen. I'll run to the bathroom thinking I'm about to vomit, but either nothing happens or I belch and feel better for a bit until the nausea swells up again.

These episodes are usually accompanied by a "sense of doom" type anxiety. I feel prickling in my scalp, and the feeling washes over me from the top of my head down. I can actually *feel* it like a physical sensation.

Simethicone (Gas X) helps sometimes but not always. Tums do nothing. Ginger, peppermint and raspberry teas do nothing. Ditto chewing gum. I'm already on Zoloft for anxiety purposes.

In reading, I've found that fiction written by women for women often favours slow burn relationships with building acts of care and competence. This mirrors my personal preference too, in getting to know someone over time, without necessarily having romantic intent to begin with.

In modern dating however, the common norm seems to be for men to quickly make a move and escalate within a few dates, despite the inorganic and brief glimpses people get of each other.

Do you believe this is a consequence of structured dating with strangers in a fast paced world with too many options? Online dating is generally found to be unsatisfactory for most, and this dynamic is arguably a function of online dating.

Taking classes or participating in social hobbies is touted as an alternative for forming relationships grounded in commonality without explicit expectation of romance. That said, these can sometimes end up being sausage-fests, which can feel intimidating for the women who show up.

Do you think the way romance is written in fiction for the female gaze is reasonable or little more than indulgent fantasy?

I have a question that I hope women can feel able to answer completely honestly - if you were a woman who attended a small weekly yoga class, very local, very low-key, maybe 8 attendees max, and it was led by a woman and mostly or all women who attended but there was one middle aged guy who started going, would you honestly feel more comfortable if he wasn't there? Regardless of how fair or rational that felt. Or does it not matter?

Hi everyone,

So to give a backstory of why I'm asking this, I'm a girl that has always been a late bloomer. Never had any crushes in school or in college, never had a relationship and never had sex. Only after I was done with college I slowly started opening up to the idea of a romantic partner, but I still couldn't engage in hookup culture as I realized it's just not for me. Every connection I've ever had I felt really deeply, and even to this day I've only ever kissed one person because I just can't take these things lightly.

So I guess it was inevitable that at some point I would get my heart broken. Long story short, I fell in love with a guy, but he wasn't half as serious as me. He acted like it was mutual and lead me on but was careful not to cross some lines to keep plausible deniability. I fooled myself by thinking that maybe he's not giving it his all because he wanted to get to know me better. Turns out he just has hella baggage and never wanted to date me (what a shocker), he just found me hot & interesting and liked "our connection." And he actually has a different woman in his life that he's loved for years and she's never looked his way, but he's not willing to cut her off.

I have to admit learning this destroyed me, even though I know logically it's a pretty stupid situation. I got attached to someone who's actually so immature and careless with other people's feelings. But I can't rise above it. I knew him for nearly a year, and it's been 2 months since I cut contact with him and told him outright that I can't be his friend. He accepted it and promised not to message me again.

I still wake up and he's the first thought my brain automatically generates. I can't stop ruminating no matter how much I work, go to the gym, take walks. It feels horrible to remember how little I meant to him, and the fact is - I still love him, the feelings didn't go anywhere even despite me and my friends agreeing that he was a loser and a bastard. I'm so afraid this is never going to end. I just can't become indifferent to someone whom I fell for so hard, for the first time ever, and it never went anywhere.

I need girlies that got their heart broken in their 20s to tell me how it happened to them, how long the grief lasted and how they were able to chase it away. Thank you

I have a very conservative religious family and I'm making my exit plan. When I move away, I plan to dress how I want. Even as a grown adult they control what I can and can't wear. I just wanna wear what I want to finally and be FREE. But by the time I move I'll be 24 or 25 and I don't know why but there's something telling me I'm too old. I just feel like by that age it's too desperate to dress slutty. Is it just my fear talking or is it true? I feel like I've missed the boat on so much because I've suppressed myself for too long.

Abt 5 days ago, I slept with a friend. We’re not that close, but good friends. We got drunk and slept together and I enjoyed it. He slept over, but I only got like snatches of sleep and when I woke up about 4hrs later, I was super anxious. I’m not sure about what specifically, but when he woke up I had to leave my own room because looking at him made me so anxious I wanted to puke. I eventually ended up going outside my house and calling him to talk about what had went down, because I couldn’t talk to him face to face. He established that he would want to hookup again up again, which I agreed to because I had a great time the first time. He left and it’s been 5 days but I haven’t been sleeping, eating, or even drinking well because I wanted to invite him over but the thought of seeing him basically makes me nervous/ want to puke. For context, I have been diagnosed with a panic disorder, but it’s been extremely good for the past like idk 8 months. I’m 22, single, never been in a relationship, and have had 2 other one night stands, and this would be my first time entering a FWB type of situation. I ended up taking ashwaganda to kind of calm me down and I was finally able to eat and sleep, but he FT’d me and I got so anxious all over again. I want to see him again as we’re good friends but I’m obviously struggling.
Please, any advice would be helpful because clearly this is tearing me up inside.

I often notice girls looking at me. For example, several times, girls riding their bikes have held their gaze on me as they passed by (I'm in the Netherlands, where there are tons of bikes). And it's not just their eyes — they actually turn their heads and keep looking at me.

Sometimes I'm walking down the street, I look at a girl, and she doesn't look away, even though she was the one who looked at me first. It could mean anything, but I've heard that girls try not to give away too many signals and don't look at someone like that without a reason. I don't stare at them myself because I don't want to come across as creepy.

And sometimes I look at a girl, look away naturally, then look back, and she's still looking at me. At the same time, I don't notice any smiles. Maybe it's because I've been rather serious and not very smiley myself lately, or maybe I'm just overestimating the attention I'm getting.

I tend not to rely too much on these kinds of things, but that's because of past experiences. I've usually received female attention as I've gotten to know someone, rather than right from the start, which has been pretty rare.

What do you think? How do girls look at you when they're interested? I can add more details if needed, because there are quite a few situations.

In some communities boys and girls truly are socialized differently from an early age. Have you ever
met a woman who genuinely seemed too masculine to hang with the girls?

Ok, so I am a girl from a very conservative place, studied at an all girls convent school my entire life.

And let me tell you, I’m 18, and I have never masturbated in my life, and honestly I think I will never have the desire to. It’s not like I don’t have an urge, it’s just that…. I genuinely am scared and I feel guilty to ever try it, to the point I’m so comfortable in my circumstances, that I don’t wish to ever do it. My friends always get shocked to hear this, that how am I able to resist the urge, but idk.

So my question is, is it normal to never involve in any sexual or pleasurable activity?

As the question says. I am fed up with the stereotypes about women's lower sex drive. I have always been on the high. I often have sexual fantasies about attractive people I see in public, particularly if in close proximity for a while like a train trip. I do not act on them but my brain goes there often. Does this happen to other women or am I an oddity?

I used to think women didn't really like sex/have a sex drive comparable to men but as I've gotten older, more confident with myself and had more female friends I am starting to think y'all just hide it much better? Is this just a socialization thing/women are shamed for having a sex drive?

​

Hey ladies,

I’m 27F , I haven’t dated or genuinely talked to anyone romantically in the last four years. I’ve been on my own for a long time, and now that I’m finally starting to like someone, I feel completely lost.

I can’t tell if I have high standards, unrealistic expectations or if I’m simply not used to navigating romantic feelings anymore.

Sometimes I feel like he’s trying to communicate with me or make an effor but I’m not meeting him halfway because I’m scared, unsure, or waiting for something more obvious. Other times I feel like he’s not trying at all and I might just be overthinking the little things because I like him.

I genuinely cannot tell the difference anymore. 😭

I don’t want to be the woman who expects a man to do all the work while I sit back and wait for him to figure everything out. I understand that communication and effort should go both ways. But at the same time, I don’t want to be the woman who keeps making excuses for someone who isn’t genuinely interested in her.

So how do you find that balance?

And another thing I’m struggling with- is it okay for a woman to let a man know she likes him?

I don’t mean confessing my undying love or chasing someone who gives me nothing in return. I mean simply being honest about my interest and allowing things to develop naturally. Part of me thinks that’s perfectly normal, but another part of me is scared of putting myself out there and feeling embarrassed if the feelings aren’t mutual.

I’ve been independent for so long that I don’t know if I’m protecting my peace or putting up walls that make it impossible for anyone to get close to me.

I don’t want to settle for less than I deserve, but I also don’t want my fear of being hurt to make me miss out on something potentially good.

Ladies, especially those who started dating again after a long break:

How do you distinguish between having healthy standards and having unrealistic expectations?

When should you give a man a chance, even if he doesn’t communicate or show interest exactly the way you imagined?

Is it okay to let a man know you like him or is it better to wait and see whether he makes his intentions clear?

How do you know when to meet someone halfway versus when you’re doing all the emotional work yourself?

I’m not necessarily looking for someone to tell me that he likes me or doesn’t like me. I’m trying to understand myself, my expectations, and how to navigate this without either sabotaging something good or accepting something that isn’t right for me.

I feel so lost, and I would genuinely appreciate hearing your experiences and advice.

Help a girl out, ladies. ❤️

Each month, I struggle during my luteal phase because I suddenly get these very sad and gloomy moments where I am bombarded by my existential thoughts.

Some days I also feel some sense of loneliness, even though I am have a good family and support system.

Genuinely in a good state where I don’t have any pressing problems or stressors. I just struggle with sad days because it hits me out of the blue and I notice it’s always during luteal.

I tried going to the gym, going out and meet people, journaling, prayer, watching tv…but sometimes it catches up to me and I just do nothing but suffer :( it’s no fun.

So…what do you guys do to help yourself when bad days happen?

Would you date a man who used to hold these beliefs, or even someone who's still in the process of unlearning them? I'd like to hear everyone's honest answers either way.

I'm not a woman so I don't know how women's clothes work. I'd be afraid of any swift movements.

How are you confident nothing will happen? 20 years ago I was dating someone who wore stuff like this a lot when we went out.

I don't know how to add pictures so I'll post a link to an example.

https://www.facebook.com/reel/2310308253075818

About two weeks ago, my cousin and I were at a bar when we met a woman who was out with her friends. She’s a transfer student at my university and was being pretty social, asking people for their Instagrams and getting to know them.

We started talking, and she asked for my Instagram and LinkedIn, which I gave her. I eventually introduced her to my cousin because he and I were working on a screenplay. We asked whether she’d be interested in joining us, and to our surprise, she enthusiastically agreed.

The next day, the three of us met up and spent about four hours hanging out and working on the screenplay. We got along well and decided to continue collaborating. Our next writing session was over Zoom.

For our most recent session, she reached out to me individually and asked if I wanted to meet her at a coffee shop near our university so we could work together in person while calling my cousin. For context, my cousin attends another university about an hour away.

I agreed, and we met up to work on the screenplay. Toward the end of our session, she asked what I was doing afterward. I told her I needed to take care of something related to a letter of recommendation, and she mentioned that she didn’t have anything else planned. I continued working for a while, and when I eventually got up to leave, she got up as well. We said goodbye and went our separate ways.

Later, I thought it would be fun for the three of us to see a movie together before our next writing session. I invited her while I was still waiting to hear whether my cousin could make it. I initially suggested Sunday because my cousin would be available on the weekend, and she said she was down.
However, Sunday didn’t work out because both she and my cousin ended up being busy and didn’t respond in time.

The following Monday, she reached out on her own and apologized for missing my message. She then suggested going on Tuesday or Thursday instead and had already looked up the movie’s showtimes.
I agreed, and we settled on Tuesday. Since it was a weekday, my cousin couldn’t make the trip from his university, so it ended up being just the two of us.
I bought both tickets because I genuinely enjoy going to the movies and appreciated having someone to go with. She offered to pick me up and drive us there.
We watched the movie together, exchanged a few comments during it, and talked about it afterward. She thanked me for buying the tickets.

After the movie, I asked whether she’d eaten because I hadn’t had dinner yet. She said she’d already eaten but offered to drive me somewhere to pick up food anyway. I didn’t end up taking her up on it.
Before we parted ways, she mentioned that we should work on the screenplay again later in the week and told me to text her about it. We said goodbye, and she dropped me off.

Later that night, she initiated another text conversation about the movie, sharing some of her thoughts and comparing it to other films.

One important detail: Throughout the entire evening, I didn’t really flirt with her. I didn’t compliment her appearance, initiate physical contact, attempt to kiss her, or make any obvious romantic advances. I was friendly, courteous, and honestly a little nervous, but otherwise behaved pretty naturally.
I’m attracted to her, but I’m also completely comfortable being friends and continuing our creative collaboration.

I’m curious how women would interpret this situation. Would you be comfortable suggesting a one-on-one movie outing, offering to drive, and texting afterward with a guy you’d only known for two weeks if your interest were entirely platonic?
Or would those circumstances generally suggest that you’re at least open to getting to know him romantically?

I’m 21F, and I’m struggling to move on from a guy (23M) I genuinely thought I had a connection with. We had some amazing moments together, and I started seeing the potential for a serious relationship. We were seeing each other for a month and a half. We moved pretty quickly.

Eventually, his communication became inconsistent, and when I expressed how I felt and asked for clarity, he told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship and couldn’t give me what I wanted. I sent him a final message trying to understand where we stood, but he never replied and eventually removed me on Snapchat.

Now I’m constantly wondering whether I pushed him away by expressing my feelings and wanting reassurance, or whether he was already losing interest. I miss him so much and keep wishing I could go back and handle things differently. I want to message him so bad. The sex was also amazing and he had ALOT of stamina.

Did I ruin things, is this my fault? I want to text him, should I?