Hi, I’m a Christian convert from a Muslim background. I’d like to share my story and ask for some advice.
I used to be a devout Muslim, I studied Sharia and fiqh which is the islamic theology and islamic jurisprudence, Arabic is my first language, and after I learned English, a friend said to me, “If you can speak English well, and studied Sharia why not use that gift to engage in dawah and invite people to Islam. It’s one of the greatest things a Muslim can do.
I agreed, and I joined Telegram and Discord groups to discuss Islam with Christians, respond to their questions and criticisms, and raise questions about Christianity. But one day, I had a conversation with a Christian who raised questions I couldn’t answer. Doubts began to creep in, so I asked God to guide me and show me the way.
I had a vision but when I woke up, I dismissed it. I prayed again and said, “God, you know I can’t leave Islam because of one dream.” The dream came back the next night, and again I tried to dismiss it. I asked God for something clearer, a sign I couldn’t mistake.
On the third night, I had another dream that I couldn’t ignore. I came to believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of the living God, that He died on the cross for me, and that He rose from the dead on the third day to give me eternal life.
The problem is that I come from a Muslim family and live in a country where converting from Islam to Christianity can put me in serious danger. There are no churches I can attend. Churches are banned and converting to Christianity is punishable by death,
Also My beloved father died as a Muslim, and so have others I loved. Thinking about them hurts deeply and leaves me feeling depressed.
I’m also afraid of what would happen if my mother, my family, my friends, or my community found out I had become a Christian. I think they would disown me. I worry it would break my mother’s heart, and that the community would shame my family for my decision.
I’m struggling with all of this and feeling very depressed.
I'm not afraid of death, because I know that's just the start of my everlasting life, but I feel guilty about the pain my decision might cause them, I mean how could I do this to them after all they've done for me?
What advice would you give me?and Please keep me in your prayers.