r/whatisit • u/Cultural_Fall_3255 • 4h ago

New, what is it? What is this thing.

11.1k Upvotes

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96

u/ldr97266 4h ago

Oh yes you do!

• Spotted Pine Sawyer / Whitespotted Sawyer (Monochamus scutellatus): A large, native dark beetle with very long antennae and a distinct white spot behind the head. People often confuse it with the invasive Asian longhorned beetle, but the native sawyer has that characteristic single white dot.

• Ponderous Borer (Ergates spiculatus): A very large, reddish-brown or brownish beetle with spiky margins on the thorax. Large specimens found around urban areas like Boise are frequently ponderous borers or pine sawyers.

• Banded Alder Borer (Rosalia funebris): A striking black-and-white banded longhorn beetle found in the region.

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u/GoBucks513 3h ago

Man, it sucks I need to start wearing readers. I thought that last one saud Banded Anal Borer at first, and nobody wants an infestation of those bastards!

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u/Real-DrUnKbAsTeRd 3h ago

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u/GoBucks513 35m ago

Uh, this meme doesn't fit, homie.

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u/ANITA-HANCHOB 3h ago

Welcome to old age, best advice; buy 10 pairs you will lose/break/misplace (memory).

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u/RHX_Thain 3h ago

10 pairs of anal borers sounds a bit decadent.

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u/Cali-Cornflakes 3h ago

That’s a lot of anal..

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u/lexiconhuka 2h ago

Or a fun weekend

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u/ANITA-HANCHOB 25m ago

This is the way

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u/Stewart_Games 2h ago

And remember if you've lost your glasses check your top head you probably just left them resting up there.

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u/Interesting_Ad_3583 3h ago

Well, I wouldn’t say nobody

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u/MentalTumbleweed7434 3h ago

Honestly fair

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u/Captain_StarLight1 3h ago

I mean… you could make it one of those if you were brave enough…

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u/Air_Jordache 3h ago

You mean it's not a Ponderous Boner?

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u/Ok_Look1003 3h ago

Speak for yourself.

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u/lololollieki 3h ago

😂😂😂

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u/FOMOerotica 3h ago

That was my nickname in highschool!

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u/RogueGenX 3h ago

Then why did we all call you Road Apple?

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u/FOMOerotica 3h ago

Because I was tragically hip?

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u/RogueGenX 3h ago

Canadian is the best I’ll give you

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u/wlake82 3h ago

If it's any consolation, I had to graduate to trifocules a few years ago.

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u/sincubus33 3h ago

nah that would be less bad than the banded alder borer

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u/actual-trevor 3h ago

I believe what you were thinking of looks more like this.

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u/Quirky-Astronaut-134 3h ago

😅😂🤣😂😅

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u/Menacing_mouse_421 1h ago

Goddamn you!!!!!! Lmfao!!! This made me lol. I needed that! I had to recently put down my 16.5 year old Aussie and I needed a good laugh!!! Thanx!

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u/DarkestFiction 1h ago

Gives new meaning to "buggering"

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u/Char_siu_for_you 18m ago

Buy some readers right now. Get a multi pack and stash them around your house. It’ll make your life immediately better.

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u/GoBucks513 13m ago

Picked some up at Walgreens an hour ago when I was there to get some nail polish remover. It's amazing how much easier it is to see small parts I'm working on in my shop!

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u/Balloon_Fan 3h ago

Hey now, don't kink-shame!

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u/VerbalGuinea 3h ago

There’s nothing boring about that.

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u/TrainingSword 2h ago

Speak for yourself. There’s 8.4 billion people on the planet. It’s got to be someone’s fetish

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u/Original-Taste7723 2h ago

Yeah I like the Unbanded Anal Borer. It also comes in Paisley.

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u/Ok_Farmer_6033 2h ago

beaded anal borer 

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u/StrangeGlyceride 3h ago

The Ponderosa Borer beetles are my local DC-10 in the Sierra Nevada mountains. They are really cool on the ground. When they take to the air I feel my soul exits my body through my butt.

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u/whoamdave 3h ago

Are you certain there isn't a Kappa in your local waterway? Protect your Shirikodama people!

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u/lminer123 2h ago

The unassuming Loathsome Dung Eater: 👀

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u/Kriieod 2h ago

A big old Ponderosa was hovering around our FTX site looking for a site to land, and in one of those glorious no words needed ESP moments, a couple of our Air Assault trained NCOs started doing helicopter EZ landing hand and arm signals for it and it obliged landing right in the middle of our group, where everyone else caught on to the joke and immediately ran and went prone in 360 security around it. One of my favorite military memories.

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u/StrangeGlyceride 51m ago

This is an excellent service story. Very nice.

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u/Eremenkism 3h ago

Best DC-10 slander I've heard in a long while, respect

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u/Elegant_Situation285 3h ago

that's beautiful poetry.

thanks for sharing.

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u/LumpyArbuckleTV 3h ago

None of these look like that monster.

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u/utzutzutzpro 3h ago

I researched them - they all look okayish. Like big beetles.

This here... this looks terrifying and aggressive. And so much bigger.

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u/No_Necessary5542 3h ago

You just ruined that guys day. Now do Ohio

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u/Extension-Alps-6903 3h ago

Thanks I hated that

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u/BlinkOnce4me 3h ago

There is no pine Sawyer bettle this large. And it isn't a ponderous borer.

This is fake.

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u/indieplants 3h ago

what are you saying is fake, the above list or the video? 😭

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u/BlinkOnce4me 2h ago

The video is fake and his list is of real beetles which have nothing to do with the video

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u/indieplants 2h ago

the video isn't fake, it's a real beetle but the perspective makes it look huge. it's a couple inches and the list does have sizeable beetles

you can see how it compares to the person's fingers but it's real! 

this is a dried bug, pic 2 shows it's size comparatively https://wobam.co.uk/product/batocera-parryi-malaysia/

https://www.naturepl.com/stock-photo-longhorn-beetle-batocera-parryi-in-rainforest-borneo-image01167530.html

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u/cainhurstboy 3h ago

The borer…is it found in like, beach areas by rivers?? In se washington ive seen what yer describing i believe

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u/Pocusmaskrotus 3h ago

I got bit by a pine beetle. It fucking hurt.

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u/enigmagon 2h ago

I think your autism may be a touch better than mine lol

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u/Cool_Ad9326 2h ago

Laughs in British

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u/MonstahButtonz 2h ago

Thanks ChatGPT

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u/ChurchillMkVII 1h ago

Exit the warrior

Spotted Pine Sawyer

Gets high on you?

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u/Hot_Boysenberry2045 1h ago

Hey man... fuck you for bringing that to my attention

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u/jarnpil 1h ago

I’ve been chewed on by a white spotted sawyer.
Are they venomous? No.
Did I still scream bloody murder? Yes.

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u/VonBrandtner 32m ago

I've got a Ponderosa Borer in my freezer.

It's a whole other kind of bug collecting when they get big enough to yell at you while you're trying to get them in the jar.