Someone wore white to my wedding lol

[u/vacuump0wer]

It didn't phase me that night honestly, but like DAMN. My friends apparently wanted to kick her out but didn't want to bother me with anything else that could be stressful (I love my friends so much). I found it pretty funny when I found out, and everyone who saw her was judging HARD, so it was whatever. She would be the person to do that though. Everyone said it haha. I just wanted to share the audacity. In the picture, I'm on the left and she is on the right. I'm honestly pretty sure the dress is supposed to be a very light blue?? Still insane to me haha. It's also floral like a wedding dress. My old boss said we looked like a lesbian couple getting married in that picture and we totally do.

Side note: you may be thinking, "wow that's crazy, but she must have somehow not known." Well, it was in the dress code, which I will also show below :)

Edit: i wish I could add a better picture of my dress because it was so gorgeous and soooo many people have seen this post now. There's a comment buried somewhere that has it haha

[u/CHAIR0RPIAN]

IDK - I knew that was a bad move even before I started using reddit or other websites. I always wonder how people get old enough to attend a wedding without ever hearing about that "rule"

[u/Sad_Airline9858 → u/CHAIR0RPIAN]

I've never worn white to a wedding but I was 30 years old before I knew this was a thing. And I found out through reddit. I had a guest wear white lace to my wedding when I was 24 and I had no idea that was unusual.

[u/Madam_Mimm_13 → u/Sad_Airline9858]

I knew of this rule before the internet was invented.
M

[u/phylogenyboy → u/Sad_Airline9858]

I never knew about the rule against white at weddings until I read about it on Reddit. Of course, I don’t go to many weddings and, as a man, I’m not likely to wear something white anyway, or at least anything that could be confused with a wedding dress.

[u/MollyMousen → u/phylogenyboy]

It'd be funny if you wore a white suit because that rule is made for women wearing dresses lol. People would be so divided on a white suit

[u/Right_Lengthiness266 → u/MollyMousen]

The Priest wore white robes to my wedding and nobody took issue with it.

Maybe if another guest showed up in white priestly robes it would've cause an issue.

I think the rule is really "women don't wear dresses, or anything that could be remotely confused with a wedding dress".

[u/Rainyday5372 → u/Right_Lengthiness266]

And my mom always taught me never wear something that will detract attention from the bride. That includes something very revealing, tight, short, obnoxious color, etc. One of my cousins wore a beautiful dress to a wedding that had big butterflies all over it. My mom labeled it too distracting. Only quietly and just to us, of course. 🤣 My sisters and I still talk about that butterfly dress. Miss my momma. She did her best to teach us her “proper lady” skills.

[u/MollyMousen → u/[deleted]]

The bride wants to stand out in pictures, I think

[u/lindabelcher13 → u/Sad_Airline9858]

Same here! I had no idea that was a no-no and tbh I feel no way about it either way. I would never do it, bc I don’t want to ever imply something disrespectful at someone else’s wedding, but if I ever got married and had a wedding of my own, I don’t think that it would even be on my radar lol.

[u/Competitive_Award35 → u/Sad_Airline9858]

Someone missed every wedding memo ever written

[u/DetectiveCrafty5413 → u/CHAIR0RPIAN]

I think it just comes from smaller families. When you don't have cousins constantly getting married you don't learn the rules as a kid, so your first wedding blind side you as an adult.

[u/simshalo → u/CHAIR0RPIAN]

I think it swirled somewhere around in the back of my head, along with the something borrowed something blue, but I could not tell you what the other objects are in that list. Something borrowed, something blue, something??? I mean, it might not occur to me. But then I got on Reddit and there are so many popular posts about these wedding rules getting broken and it has definitely taught me a lot. 

[u/DMvsPC → u/simshalo]

Something old (continuity), something new (optimism), something borrowed (transfers good fortune from someone happily married), something blue (wards off evil as blue is for purity and love) and a sixpence in your shoe (for prosperity) is the old saying.

[u/slab_schitty → u/CHAIR0RPIAN]

Fairly certain the type of people to do things like this are the same people who think rules are for others, not themselves.

[u/Original_Rich_2741 → u/CHAIR0RPIAN]

Immigrant parents, only weddings I attended were those in my mom and dad’s home country or with other members of the diaspora, where it was grooms who wore white silk tunics, while brides wore red. Due to all of my parents friends being already married when I came in with kids of a similar generation as me, so I’ve actually haven’t been to a western wedding yet. So the don’t wear white thing was pure Reddit knowledge, as there were no such restrictions on red.

[u/PeachyFairyDragon → u/Original_Rich_2741]

But in those cultures, what would it be like for a female guest to wear neck to toe red? Would it be competing with the bride?

[u/Original_Rich_2741 → u/PeachyFairyDragon]

I can only speak for that of my parents, but yeah, neck to toe red wouldn’t be a problem? The wedding philosophy is very different; there’s not really a concept of “upstaging the bride” —every woman is to bring her a-game with gowns and jewelry and whatnot to look like a goddess, and if it isn’t abundantly obvious who the bride is, then it’s the bride that needs to work harder to make it clear who’s queen of the gods.

[u/CHAIR0RPIAN → u/Original_Rich_2741]

Fair enough. My comment was more so referring to people who grew up in western countries, I wouldn’t really expect someone who immigrated to know those little unspoken rules so you’d get a pass in my opinion.

[u/Original_Rich_2741 → u/CHAIR0RPIAN]

To be clear, I grew up here, but due to my family background, my western wedding culture exposure has been entirely media based. Of course, I’d probably have googled “wedding etiquette” or something like that quick before going to my first western one for a friend anyway (I’m in college, so that’s going to be at least few years) but I just wanted to note that American wedding culture isn’t the only wedding culture even happening on American soil, you know? 

[u/CHAIR0RPIAN → u/Original_Rich_2741]

Oh gotcha! Fair enough either way lol I didn’t go to many weddings so I’m not even really sure where I picked up the info