r/weddingshaming • u/Archi_penko • 5d ago

Cringe Stop inviting me to your wedding after party

I’m tired of being treated like a C list friend and getting invited to only the wedding after party. Just don’t invite us! I got a text last week inviting me to the bar at 10:30pm after the full wedding has ended. So you want me to show up when you all are drunk and tired and dressed up? I find this trend to be rude, just don’t invite me!

Edit: this has happened twice to me. Once, I flew to another city only to realize I was invited to JUST the dancing, arriving after dinner had been served.

The second, I got a text a few days to come to a dive bar at 10:30pm after the ceremony and reception. I also happened to invite this person to my wedding earlier in the year, not that that entitles me to anything.

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u/subcommunitiesonly 1d ago

Just getting a UK vibe check: my fiancee and I are getting married next year on a Friday, and we are planning a smaller more intimate wedding of 40-ish guests, and then opening up the after party (band, Dj, food, drinks) for 8pm to our extended friends. Is that pretty common or is it seen as rude?

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u/ayeayefitlike 15h ago

Totally common. We had 90 at ours and another 40 at night - mainly cousins and their partners, work colleagues and parents’ friends. I’ve been to a lot of wedding receptions myself where I didn’t attend the full day.

But you’d expect to be arriving at like 7-8pm, and there til midnight or later, and get fed some kind of evening food (hog roast, buffet, food trucks etc are common).

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u/antique_velveteen 13h ago

One of my cousins got married a few years back and we only got an invite to the dance. It was at 8pm over an hour away. I didn't even acknowledge the invite. Still not sorry lol

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u/ayeayefitlike 12h ago

I mean, if you’re UK, that wasn’t rude of them at all.

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u/antique_velveteen 12h ago

I'm in the US - I was understanding the context of it being normal in the UK. Here it's normal for those invites to go out to distant family, coworkers, and other ancillary people but not family you see pretty routinely.

There's history behind this, and it was absolutely a pointed snub. I was the only one of our small cousin crew that was excluded from the main events. Her point was made. We avoid her for the most part now. Lol

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u/tinatspoon 1d ago

It’s pretty common.

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u/thatgirlinny 1d ago

Very common. But it’s definitely the space of younger friends, not long out of university, for whom a whole day of events might be spendy or considered too formal.

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u/tigerspots 22h ago

Big difference inviting people to a party at 8 vs 10:30.

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u/Emma172 21h ago

Yeah that's absolutely fine