r/weddingshaming • u/Archi_penko • 5d ago

Cringe Stop inviting me to your wedding after party

I’m tired of being treated like a C list friend and getting invited to only the wedding after party. Just don’t invite us! I got a text last week inviting me to the bar at 10:30pm after the full wedding has ended. So you want me to show up when you all are drunk and tired and dressed up? I find this trend to be rude, just don’t invite me!

Edit: this has happened twice to me. Once, I flew to another city only to realize I was invited to JUST the dancing, arriving after dinner had been served.

The second, I got a text a few days to come to a dive bar at 10:30pm after the ceremony and reception. I also happened to invite this person to my wedding earlier in the year, not that that entitles me to anything.

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u/Blue_Eyed_Devi 5d ago

You know what’s worse? Know the date of the wedding for 2 years, and not getting an invitation until the week before because someone from the A+ list cancelled at the last moment.

I mean, we still went but it did feel like we were the backup guests. If we hadn’t known about the wedding for 2 years, and the bride hadn’t said “I’m so glad so and so couldn’t make it so we were able to invite you” then it would have been fine and just had the feeling we were backup guests but because of those two things it was confirmed.

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u/turBo246 4d ago edited 4d ago

Sorry, but if you don't want to be a backup friend, then don't allow yourself to be a backup friend.

I personally would not have attended, and I would have told them why.

Being invited to a wedding one week before the date is confirmation of being a backup. It wouldn't have "been a feeling" because people don't do that.

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u/terisews 4d ago

Agreed! I will not be your back up invite. I am ok not being invited at all because I know things are expensive, but I don't want to be a back up.

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u/Blue_Eyed_Devi 4d ago

Actually, we went because it was going to be a fantastic party (and it was!) but guess what, we haven’t spoken to the couple since and this was way back in 2018

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u/thatgirlinny 1d ago

And now you have it confirmed where your friendship really lies.

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u/thatgirlinny 1d ago

That’s just gross. My response is, “No, thanks. Busy!”