Stop inviting me to your wedding after party

[u/Archi_penko]

I’m tired of being treated like a C list friend and getting invited to only the wedding after party. Just don’t invite us! I got a text last week inviting me to the bar at 10:30pm after the full wedding has ended. So you want me to show up when you all are drunk and tired and dressed up? I find this trend to be rude, just don’t invite me!

Edit: this has happened twice to me. Once, I flew to another city only to realize I was invited to JUST the dancing, arriving after dinner had been served.

The second, I got a text a few days to come to a dive bar at 10:30pm after the ceremony and reception. I also happened to invite this person to my wedding earlier in the year, not that that entitles me to anything.

[u/Archi_penko]

So this is interesting- I’m in the US and this is not common, if it was I think I could wrap my head around it. But getting a text to come to a bar at 10:30 after a full wedding and reception has happened, I feel like an after thought. But I do get the concept, it being more rare here it feels weird.

[u/Formal_Service7234 → u/Archi_penko]

Wait, you weren't even invited in advance, but at the time of the party? I wouldn't have gone anyway, but that's even worse.

[u/Archi_penko → u/Formal_Service7234]

No I did get the text a few days prior

[u/Formal_Service7234 → u/Archi_penko]

Ok. I still wouldn't have gone, but that's just me.

[u/Which-Ring2864 → u/Archi_penko]

Eww. That feels like an afterthought. Yuck.

[u/Impossible_Delay1023 → u/Archi_penko]

In the uk tho the evening party would start at like 6 or 7pm not 10:30 just to be clear. Arriving at 10:30 is insane

[u/No-Coyote914 → u/Impossible_Delay1023]

In Ireland it wouldn't start at 10:30, but it wouldn't start at 6 or 7 either. Maybe 8:30.

[u/Which-Ring2864 → u/Archi_penko]

For sure- I've never heard of that before. I have been invited to "Wedding Celebrations" days or weeks after the actual ceremony, but those are either like a full meal, dancing, drinks, or a cocktail party with passed trays of appetizers. It's weird tohave a full reception and only invite some guests, and then invite the rest to the " after party" of drinking and dancing. I suppose this is to save money

[u/Resident-Motor-5967 → u/Archi_penko]

I agree - in the US this feels rude, particularly because it’s last minute.

[u/I_deleted → u/Archi_penko]

Reasonably common to have a small family only ceremony and meal, then have a big reception but straight to the after party is less common for sure

[u/Traffic_Alert_God → u/Archi_penko]

I’ve seen this a ton in the US recently. It’s getting too expensive to invite so many people to the actual receptions. I’m honestly ok with people inviting me to join later. It shows me they at least wanted to see me.

[u/dragon8733 → u/Archi_penko]

I have obviously misunderstood, we would still get a proper invitation and would get there much earlier.

I understand your feelings, a last minute invite like this would usually be a non official invite from someone other than the bride or groom, an invite at 10.30 of the couple is very odd!