I'm 22, originally from a small town outside of Wichita. This past summer I got the opportunity to live in NYC for two months for an internship, and I don't think I've been the same since coming back home.

I don't really know how to explain it, but one of the things I loved most about NYC was just being perceived. As weird as that sounds, I genuinely enjoyed being seen by people who had absolutely no idea who I was. Whether I was standing on the subway, sitting in a coffee shop, walking around Manhattan, or striking up conversations with random strangers, there was something about it that I really enjoyed.

I came to New York knowing practically nobody. No friends, no connections, no established social circle. I made a point to put myself out there as much as possible, whether that meant striking up conversations with strangers, attending social events, or getting involved in different groups. At one point, I started an Instagram group chat for people in the city to meet and connect, and it eventually grew to around 250 people. What was really cool was seeing people actually use it. People were making plans, organizing hangouts, meeting up, and forming friendships with others they probably wouldn't have met otherwise. Some people who started out as complete strangers ended up becoming friends. It was pretty surreal knowing that something as simple as starting a group chat could bring that many people together, especially considering I had only been in the city for a couple of months.

What I found interesting was how small NYC made me feel, but in a good way. You're surrounded by millions of people who all have their own lives going on, and nobody really cares who you are or where you came from. I actually loved that. I could be some random guy from Kansas one minute and be having a conversation with someone from an entirely different background the next.

I think what made it even more special was that nobody knew me beforehand. There were no preconceived notions about who I was supposed to be. I could just show up somewhere, talk to people, and make an impression on my own. I felt more confident and outgoing there than I ever did back home.

Now that I'm back in Kansas, everything just feels different. The same places, the same routines, the same environment I've known my entire life. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with living here, but after experiencing NYC, I've realized how much more I want out of life. I miss the spontaneity, the people, the conversations, and even the little things like getting on the subway or walking into a random coffee shop.

I know two months isn't a long time, and I'm sure actually living there permanently comes with its own problems. But it's crazy to me how much a place can change your perspective in such a short period.

I'm graduating next year and doing everything I can to get back there permanently. I don't want NYC to just be that one summer I look back on for the rest of my life.

Has anyone else had a similar experience with NYC? Especially people who moved there from smaller towns? I'm curious if anyone else felt like they became a completely different person there.

My friend and I watched Best Medicine last night—which is set on a small Maine island—and we were chuckling how tv shows always showed a utopian version of small-town living. While there's the standard busybodies and town jerks, in this show everyone looks out for their neighbor and pitches in, and there's no overt signs of racism, homophobia, or misogyny. Most people just get along and lean toward always doing what is right. Society seems knowledgable and culturally diverse, while also unpretentious and tight-knit. The town often comes together for festivals, and there's a few bars and restaurants where all the locals go to catch up with each other.

The same could be said for shows like Virgin River, Sullivan's Crossing, Hart of Dixie, and any Hallmark tv show ever made.

So, it got me thinking. Are there any small towns or islands that are actually like this, or is this just a Hollywood pipe dream? I'd love to live in a place like Virgin River, but do such places exist?

ETA: I'm looking for recommendations of real towns not just in the USA, where these shows are set, but also the rest of the world.

let's discuss. or commiserate.

Hello! My family is thinking of moving to one of these places. Moving from eastern NC. We’d be in the suburbs of either, not downtown. I know Nashville suburbs are very expensive these days so probably wouldn’t be in the suburbs south of Nashville. In Raleigh we’re looking either at the Cary or Wake Forest area.

If you’ve lived in either or both of these places please let me know your experience.

Hey I’m right now based out of TX and trying to decide on whether to be based out of DFW or ATX for dating..

I’ve been told I’m fairly attractive, I am slightly toned, I have a good job + I can be personable. I am looking for my future partner and hoping to get married in the next few years if I find her. I’m not really into clubs, bars, etc and am a lot more into intellectual stuff like reading, traveling, history, etc.

I feel super split with the 2 locations bc Dallas is bigger/has more of the stereotypically marriage oriented mindset from what I can tell but Austin is super beautiful comparatively & has the down to earth/relaxed vibe of lady stereotypically that I’d prefer. What would you recommend and why?

I am not sure to what to pick. I am concerned with affordability, walkability, and a strong collection of black professionals. Also a solid dating scene for 30s.

I also don't like miserable winters.

context: my best friend and I are wanting to move out of texas when we graduate next year and don't know where to go. we're gonna start off as servers/bartenders at any city. we want somewhere that's beautiful, with nature and fun night life. preferably rent under 1000 per person in a 2 bedroom apartment. I've never been to any of these cities, but I would like to know your insight! We're both 24 and just wanting some opinions!

I recently discovered that there are a lot of houses under $200k in Tampa and Saint Petersburg. I previously believed that this was a very expensive area like Miami, but it seems that I was mistaken.

I currently live in Indiana and I want to leave. The winters are too cold and dark. I know Florida is humid, but so is Indiana and I've never been bothered by it in the summer. I also know Florida experiences hurricanes. I don't care. I just want to enjoy the sunshine and warmth year-round.

However other than the humidity and the hurricanes I know there must be downsides. I lean liberal but I would still live in a red state to not have to be depressed all winter long. My biggest concern is the pay. I'm planning to go to trade school next year and I've heard Miami pays their trades workers terribly but I'm not sure if it's like that in the Tampa area too.

What has been your experience living in a tech city versus a non-tech city?

For context, I work in slower moving old school engineering and am moving from Seattle to Philadelphia, and I was wondering about people's experience moving out of Seattle, San Jose, Austin, SF, etc to a less cutthroat environment? I love putting in my 40 hours then living life

I'm in my late 30s with a teenager & am going through a divorce. I absolutely love living in Seattle: pay is great, it's easy to get around without a car, and love being so close with nature. WITH THAT SAID: I am afraid of being priced out now that I am going to be leaving my marital home. While I'm hunting for places here, I want to weigh out my options of possibly relocating somewhere else that is slightly more affordable (even by a couple hundred bucks for rentals), still has pretty amazing transit or walkability (since affording a car on my own is out of the question), and still keeps us connected to nature.

I am trying to avoid the Southeast at all costs. I was born, raised, and bred there; all of my family lives there, as well. Life has been SO much better moving out West that I'd prefer to never move back (garbage pay, bad schools, car-reliant). It isn't fully off the table but would really emphasize keeping it out of sight.

Edit: Thanks for the recommendations! I will check out Portland (it's been on my list already) & will look further into other cities. I still want to stay in the Seattle metro & have time to continue to stay here, but am not opposed to keeping options open. To the rude folks: I've nothing to prove to y'all & everything to continue proving to my child for her bright future.

I’m curious to hear from people who have relocated to a new city or state within the last year or two, especially those who moved for work or a new career opportunity.
Whether you moved to Dallas/DFW or somewhere completely different, I’d love to hear about your experience.
Looking back, what was the most frustrating, stressful, or unexpectedly difficult part of relocating?
Was there anything you wish you’d known before moving? Or something you ended up having to figure out completely on your own?
I’m doing some independent research on people’s real relocation experiences and would genuinely appreciate hearing your perspectives.
I’m especially interested in the challenges people don’t usually talk about when discussing a move, including things that may have caught you off guard even after settling in.
Thanks in advance to anyone willing to share! I’d love to hear your stories.

Hey everyone,
I’m 20M and I’m about to make my very first move to the US. Honestly, I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed because I’ve never lived on my own before—I come from a pretty strict/controlling family back home where everything was done for me, so this is a massive step into independence for me :)
Right now, I’m torn between two places: Portland, Oregon and San Diego, California.
Here is what I’m looking for:

• Nature & Weather:
I really want all 4 seasons, forests, wildlife, nature, and streams/rivers. (I know San Diego is mostly sunny/coastal, but hear me out below).

• Vibe:
A lively social scene where it’s easy to meet people and make friends.

• Cost of Living & Safety:
Relative affordability (cheaper rent) and safe neighborhoods.

• Career & Education:
Decent job opportunities and a solid community college with a good nursing program.

My dilemma:
Portland seems to check a lot of my boxes for nature, forests, 4 seasons, and better rent compared to California.
San Diego, on the other hand, has a huge Iraqi Christian community. Since this is my first time leaving home and I have zero experience being independent, having that local community to help me get on my feet during the first few months sounds like a lifesaver. But I’m worried about the high rent, and it doesn't really have that "lush forest/4 seasons" vibe like Oregon.
I know I’m asking for a lot, but I’d love to hear your thoughts, honest pros/cons, or if there's any other city I should look into. How hard is it to settle in either place as a newcomer?
Thanks in advance!

I've received a job offer for a 13-month term position for the government, which would require me to find housing myself for the first time. Looking at apartments now, I don't understand how you're supposed to line up the timing of your lease with a 13-month job.

90% of apartment listings are rigid 12-month leases. That'd require either signing up for 11 months of lease you don't fulfill, or being homeless for a month at the end. Do you just pay out the ass for a month's stay at a hotel at the end? Sign up for another year and just break the lease a month in?

I assume there's something obvious I'm missing, because I've never heard of anyone comment on this before.

Hi. I apologize if this post is all over the place. Basically, my partner lost his job in the Boston metro area and has been job hunting for months now. Recently, he's been getting more interviews which is amazing and actually has a job offer pending! This one is in the East Bay/San Francisco area.. I think Oakland.

Originally, we're from small/mid-size town Texas and so our first move up to Boston was quite a change, but a good one. I fell in love with how much nature and parks there is up here in New England. SO different than empty Texas suburbs. I love taking my dog to many new trails around where we live or driving to a new town to see what they have to offer. I adore the fall foliage and the difference in seasons here! I appreciate it not being religious focused here as something, even though I got used to it, was very much a thing in TX. Massachusetts seems to value our careers (him in engineering and me in mental health). I also appreciate how the suburbs of Boston still feel like small towns and not necessarily fast-paced city life or metro sprawl. Another big plus from this most recent move is realizing how safe this area feels, even in Boston city. I was hoping he could get a job in the area or if it's out of state, the pacific northwest but it's just not how it's playing out.

So I'm wondering if there are any suburbs or areas in the Bay area that give me similar vibes or better than where I'm at now in the Boston metro area.

Thank you!

I recently left a town that I really liked because it was unaffordable. When I was there, I lived in a place where I could walk <1 mile to a grocery store and pharmacy, and there were also little restaurants and bars nearby. It was kind of a mix of urban and suburban. There was a decent amount of greenery, and it was quiet.

When I moved, I made walkability a priority. The new town I've moved to is also quite walkable, but it has more of the "concrete jungle" vibe. Not as many trees, lots of busy roads. Other people do walk, but not a ton. There's so much traffic that I don't like to open my windows because of all the noise and dust that comes in. There is not much greenery, and it's really getting to me. It looked good on paper and on my first couple of visits, but not so much now.

I have been looking around in the outskirts of my old town to see if I should move back to the area. The only things I can afford would be not really walkable at all. But there would be a lot more nature and it'd be quieter.

Other factor to consider is that I have a baby, so getting in and out of the car just to grab a tomato is kind of a drag. But also walking down busy stroads is also a drag.

What would your preference be? My heart says greenery, but my heart hasn't always been right.

31F, single, queer, currently living in Denver. I have a disability that doesn't allow me to drive, so I rely on public transit. I want to own a home in the next 4 years or so and that just feels like a pipe dream in Denver (and most places with any level of public transportation infrastructure).

I'm planning on visiting at some point, but I'm curious - what's it like living there? Would I actually be able to get around via public transit, especially if I'm not in the heart of the city? What's the culture like?

I have traveled the midwest all summer and heading into fall.. originally from Texas and what blows my mind is the midwest as a whole is extremely underrated in affordability and quality of life

These states are the ones I would live in or plant roots in as the title says

Illinois, Minnesota, and Michigan are quite nice as well but since I lean more conservative as I age I much prefer more business friendly states which mean more opportunities for the middle class.. since Texas is where I come from.. no disrespect against those states but im more of a country/rural person and those states listed fit my vibe

Iowa, North Dakota, South Dakota, Nebraska, and Kansas.. no opinion just haven't visited yet probably very rural though which I'm anticipating

I am thinking about accepting a job in Vancouver, but we really want to live in NE Portland or somewhere relatively walkable and not in what feels like the suburbs. I know that’s the opposite of what most people do for tax reasons. Would we be crazy to do this? Joint income $250k with 2 kids and would want to be in a good school district (I know PPS currently having some issues as well).

I posted this on [r/relocating](r/relocating) and want to get as much intel as I can. Like the title says, I'd like to hear your takes on one of the region, or if you’ve been to all three states a comparison, based on your actual lived-in experience without talking about what everyone already talks about.

Yes, yes I know SC infrastructure can’t handle the growth, weather can be icy in TN and too humid in NC/SC. I know south is more red. And I know there are pockets with poor schooling. Et cetera

Beyond those things, I wanna hear what you personally love and hate about either of these states for a more personalized understanding of the experience. Feel free to talk about the people, the communities, the general ‘think’, things people don’t realize til the get there, or other aspects of daily life.

Again, I don't wanna hear about weather, infrastructure, or schools. Not because it doesn't matter to me, but because I have already read through *hundreds* of posts that detail those aspects for each state. I'm looking for more of the nitty gritty daily living things that you can't get in a quick Google search.

PLEASE explain too why you love or hate either state. Not just random hate like “well it sucks”.

Appreciate any and all insights!

EDIT: For clarity I’m looking for personal experience. If you’ve only seen a fraction of either state that’s fine. I’m not expecting answers that give massive pros and cons of all three. I want to know personal experiences of why that are has or has not worked for you and what you’d define a pro or con.

Another Edit: I am specifically asking for people’s experience. I am happy to engage with questions after, but please stop asking me for what I want specifically to start cause I am trying to get non-customized answers off the bat. Pros and cons. Literally just like what do you like and dislike aside from the 3 things everyone mentions.

My wife and I are planning to move to Fort Collins / Timnath, CO from Los Angeles with our family (currently 2 young kids, hoping for one more at some point). Main reasons are cost of living/homes (we want to retire early so we can raise our kids), wanting colder weather, culture (don’t love the materialism of LA), fires, wanting a safe, family friendly place we can plant roots. Plus we already have a couple cousins there with their families.

Anyone have any thoughts on Fort Collins and specifically Timnath? The good, the bad, whatever you think I might want to know.

We’re currently looking at a home to potentially put an offer on in Timnath Lakes, just barely outside Fort Collins. From what I have researched, Timnath seems to have a lot of growth potential.

Thanks in advance!