Hey guys, I'm looking for some real advice or honest perspectives on something.

​So both of my parents are Hispanic immigrants who became US citizens. I was born and raised in an urban area in NJ, and I’ve lived here my whole life... even though I’m pretty far up in my career, I constantly feel “less than” whenever I’m around people from different places... white or any type of non-Hispanic people from suburban areas (like South Jersey, Montvale, Ramsey, etc.), or honestly just anyone who isn't from an urban background, exactly.

​I even catch myself feeling inferior around suburban or wealthy people with Bachelor's or Master's degrees, even when I know that I know more than them in my field, have more real-world experience, and can literally run circles around them.

​It gets to the point where I’m afraid to speak because I’m worried I’ll sound “ghetto” or like I’m already being judged before I even open my mouth. I overthink simple things.

​It happens when I'm at work, in restaurants, or just out in public anywhere.

​The more I think about it, the more I wonder if I’m just projecting my own deep insecurities onto everyone else and creating these judgments in my head before anything even happens.

​Anyone else feel this way? Maybe it's all in my head?

​And honestly, for anyone reading this who falls into those categories (from suburban towns, wealthy, higher degree holders, different background, etc.)—do you actually judge us or look down on us when you see or hear us intentionally or not?

My working hours are 8:30am to 5:30pm. However, I typically leave 6pm and later.

This month, I have been late about 6 times. Admittedly, because I have overslept and missed my bus. I reach the office usually 8:40am and latest 9:00am.

I assumed that since I have worked late, its okay if I come to the office late. I also feel like I work late most days because I feel like I am slower than others, hence I make it up by putting in more hours.

I have been working for this place for 6 months, and while I am understanding and learning, I feel like I am not learning as fast as I should. My manager has to rewrite my emails because they aren’t as informative as they should be.

I received an email today noting that I have been late to work, and that the office runs on a give and take basis, if you come late, you work late. I felt a little bit discouraged, as I felt that while they noticed my lateness, but not me staying back late.

Do I just fucking suck and being unreasonable?

I've always wanted to achieve something big in my life, in a sense where I can make a change and help people who are disadvantaged (i know it sounds cliche but its true). Honestly, I'm not even a full adult yet but academically I'm not doing so well, which makes me feel like I'm not qualified enough to do something. I know I want to help people who don't have it as good as I do, but I'm not even sure what I like doing myself. My failures in my academics put a voice in my head telling me my ideas are stupid and it'll never work out. Idk if anyone would see this, but I wonder anyone else feels the same?

I don’t know what to do with myself really. I avoid talking to some family because they’re constantly on my ass about what I’m supposed to do after college. I was a good student in high school after studying hard, and then did rather poorly in college studying a stem discipline.

I do not believe I can recall benefits from going, my mathematical abilities are pathetically lacking despite how many classes I took and how many problem sets I did. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to go back to practicing when I have to deal with constantly being aware of how dumb and incapable and incompetent I am. I read and watch a lot of educational content, but I’m easily distracted and can’t keep on the same page. I was going to leave this out because this will make the responses say “well if you put your phone away, you’d succeed”.

I will always feel guilty for not trying or if I give up. But I am not aware of why I should when I clearly do not have strong abilities to make any meaningful difference in any field of study. I’m supposed to work hard and try for the sake of integrity and following my parent’s example. But that’s the only reason.

I also could try and become a police officer, fire fighter, or enter the military. These aren’t terrible options. But I feel like that would throw everything I studied for down the drain, and honestly, they are rather dangerous and I’d like to at least become a person before being murdered.

How do police officers and fire fighters swallow enough pride to know that they could die on the job when they have absolutely no personality or strong abilities? Maybe I have too big of an ego and need to fix my standards. I’m just angry because I feel like if I were less stupid, I wouldn’t be in this situation. I would at least have a good foundation built on the education my parents paid for and could reliably store away knowledge that I spent hours a day reviewing and studying.

At the end of the day, I could live with being dumb if I had some other aspect of personality or ability that made me useful, entertaining, or connected. Thing is, I don’t. I must be like 85-90 iq, below the threshold for disability in spatial reasoning and story telling (where they test you and ask you to complete a story).

I’m supposed to be confident and fake it, but I gotta have SOMETHING to be like “ah yeah I studied, I can actually contribute this way”. I don’t shame or think there’s anything wrong with manual labor, but manual labor + being a rich white kid + autism and lack of connections + no hobbies or skills is basically nothing except for a machine, and not a particularly useful one at that.

Ah I really just want to know that I don’t have to be useful all the time or that my life is determined by whether I can make use of my degree in physics or not. I made that dumbass decision when I was 18, I wasn’t aware of how bad I was at math and physics. I thought it would be challenging and help me grow, but instead I shrank into my shell and graduated with a degree that is a permanent stain on my reputation for any graduate program in any discipline even slightly related to my bachelor’s. (2.8 GPA)

I know this rant is kind of pathetic, but it’s also just a rant.

I'm a high school student. I think I'm ugly and useless. I'm afraid of being insulted , afraid of being pointless, afraid of being looked down upon because of my big, wide nose, acne, and tall, skinny build. I have absolutely no confidence. If I had to do anything in front of people, I'd be so embarrassed my voice would tremble and tears would well up. Besides, I'm practically hopeless at sports or hobbies. I'm terrible at soccer, badminton, table tennis, and everything else.Or a guitar or any musical instrument is useless. I could only do one thing and better at it, it would be video games. But what can I do in my life with video games? I have a crush on a girl in my schoo, same age l, but she already likes someone else. Plus... She's really pretty, like, really pretty for me. I just want to be popular or handsome like my other friends in the class. I almost don't dare post pictures of myself on my socials media What should I do? Or is there a way to stop thinking negatively?

(Sorry if my grammar is not correct,i use translation)

I have very strong imposter syndrome. I finished my master’s with good grades but I feel like maybe I just figured out what I was supposed to do without actually learning stuff. I have a job now, but I was just very lucky and I’m insecure about my place and worth in society.
I feel like I don’t know a lot of things I’m supposed to know (both from and outside of my studies).
Does anyone struggle with similar thoughts?

As the title says, that concept is so deeply ingrained in my psyche, that I genuinely struggle to understand other points of view even though I WANT TO.

I performed some deep reflection and this probably stems from my upbringing, my father's a wealthy businessman and engineer, he used to take me to the bank and talked about money making ever since I was little, money was always the top priority above all else.

Now as a young adult, I always feel shame when talking to friends or family about my career, I chose opera as a career, music always came easy to me and I'm extremely passionate about healthy vocal technique and teaching healthy vocal technique. But as everybody knows, having a sustainable career as a classical musician can only take you so far if you're fairly well known or are called to several functions and roles. (Teaching in several universities at once is also the popular alternative for musicians who only actively teach).

I don't struggle financially, but it isn't due to my income, it's because of all the real estate business I inherited from my father that he gave me to set me up for life, I'm eternally grateful for that, but I feel guilty because I don't feel the slightest bit as competent as he was, I feel like his shadow, I feel like the spoiled good-for-nothing rich kid.

Letting go of pride is difficult, huh?

I have terrible anxiety and I always feel like I'm clueless and or not doing things well, despite my having attained the traditional trappings of achievement. I find comfort in the notion that we're all just kind of bumbling around through life/work, but some of us mask it better than others. Is my comfort in that well founded?

I started a new role about 9 months ago and feel like everyone else is smarter than I am. I went to a good school and have an MBA, and have been told I do good work, but every mistake I make compounds on itself and I see everyone else out here using finance acronyms that I dont know yet etc , and makes me feel dumber/far behind. I was diagnosed with OCD and it tends to focus on work a lot, and shows in imposter syndrome.

Has anyone had any experience with this before or have evidence/experience that people out there are faking it and dont know as much as they seem? Its either that or I am just way behind. Any stories or advice appreciated.

I just have to accept that im never going to fit. In. Generally speaking. I dont fit in with my friends. I dont fit in with my family. I dont fit in with anyone. Not with online friends. Not with children,not with adults,not with people my age. I dont know why. Its just that always whenever im outside i just feel left out,i feel like im not supposed to be here. Whenever i hang out with my favorite people it just gets worse. I dont know why im so annoying. I dont know why im such an idiot. I dont know why im so fucked up. I need someone that will fit in right with me. I dont even fit in with the person im fantasizing(not sexually) about. I dont fit in any friend groups. I dont fit anywhere. Im so tired. I dont understand why its always like this. Even with my ‘best friend’ it doesnt feel like i should be their best friend. They have other friends. Better ones. I have two best friends. One is an introvert but she still has friends that she talks to regularly. The other one has many friends. He has another best friend and i dont think he considers me as his best friend. I feel so useless. I feel like im never enough. I feel like i should die. I feel like i dont deserve to live. I feel so useless. If everyone else can do so many better things than me then whats my point? There are many people born. I can always be replaced. I can always be cloned. Theres always better people than me. I dont have motivation in anything. I cant tell anyone because i know they wont understand. Im so tired. I just need someone to love me. I want to be loved. Ive never felt loved enough. Ive never felt fufilled. Ive never felt properly satisfied. During summer while i was planning my suicide i convinced myself nothing mattered and everything i do is useless. Now,even after deciding to not commit suicide,the feeling wont go away. I dont know whats wrong with me. Maybe i live in my head too much to accept reality.

For example I did not grow up fat but I did end up athletic later in life only from extensive self guided research and trial and error never once did I play on a sports team and I really feel like I shouldn’t be treated like an authority on anything because I’m not formally trained to be this way I have no business looking like this i know no one in my circle who knows how this shits supposed to be done but people assume i know what im doing

Another example i grew up In a rural area and i had a MySpace when i was 14 got into scene and emo culture (a subculture that didnt exist in my town) I found a local boy who lived in a trailer park down the street his father was a biker and he dressed a little like the pictures id seen on the internet. I befriend him not knowing any better simply being attracted to his look, told me he’s a devil worshiper i thought hell yeah that’s pretty cool (I did not believe in the devil)
I turned 19 and I moved to the city head full of knowledge of ghost hunting and ancient texts

The city is very different ngl… i can’t seem to find anyone with even a remotely similar experience…

I am 38F. I have been applying for assistant professor positions. I recently had an interview in Ireland and I was not selected. I gave it all and did my best. I have been facing so many rejections this year and I am just exhausted. I am tired of having to prove myself all the time, of having to give 150% to be seen and taken seriously. Why can I ever have just one win? Why can’t I just be living the life I want to live? What is enough?

I'm 15, currently a sophomore in high school, and honestly, I've been feeling pretty lost lately. I have a lot of thoughts going through my head, so this might be a bit of a brain dump.

I'm extremely ambitious and have pretty big goals for my future, especially when it comes to entrepreneurship, financial independence, and building a successful life. But at the same time, I feel like I'm constantly struggling with myself.

For context, I run a small business that's generated around $20k in revenue, which I'm extremely grateful for. But I genuinely feel like I got lucky. I don't know if I actually have any valuable skills or if I could ever replicate that success. The thought of starting another business from scratch feels overwhelming. Finding an idea, getting customers, building something people want, and dealing with all the uncertainty just seems incredibly difficult. I constantly wonder whether I'm actually capable of becoming a successful entrepreneur or if I'm just someone with big dreams.

I also don't particularly enjoy school, but I still care a lot about my grades and want to attend a top college. So I'm stuck balancing academics, extracurriculars, my business, and everything else, while questioning whether I'm even spending my time on the right things.

Another thing that bothers me is how much time I waste. I procrastinate, scroll on my phone, and fall into bad habits even though I'm constantly thinking about how limited time is. I know there are things I could be doing to improve myself, learn new skills, or grow my business, but I just don't do them consistently. Then I feel guilty about it.

I also feel like I'm constantly living in the future. I spend so much time thinking about the life I want at 25 or 30 that I sometimes forget I'm literally 15. I think about money, success, businesses, and the lifestyle I want, but I don't prioritize things like my health, relationships, or just enjoying my teenage years nearly enough.

And I think a big part of this comes from comparing myself to successful people. I read about entrepreneurs and their journeys, and I feel like my life doesn't match the typical story of someone who becomes extremely successful. I don't have some extraordinary technical skill, I don't spend every waking hour building something, and I don't feel particularly exceptional at anything. It makes me question whether my ambitions are realistic.

One last thing, which is harder to explain, is that I feel like I've matured a lot over the past few years. I've become very independent, responsible, and focused on my future. But sometimes I wonder whether that's coming at the expense of my personality.

I feel like I'm becoming less spontaneous and less sociable. I can't tell whether it's because I'm changing, because I don't connect with the people around me, or because I've become so focused on achievement that I've forgotten how to just be myself.

I guess my biggest fear is spending years working toward this ideal version of my life, sacrificing my youth in the process, and still never getting there.

I know I'm young, and I know I have time. But knowing that intellectually doesn't really change how I feel.

For people who are older, especially those who've experienced something similar:

• How did you figure out what you actually wanted out of life, rather than constantly chasing some ideal version of success?
• How did you deal with the uncertainty of entrepreneurship, especially when you weren't sure whether you were actually capable of succeeding?
• Looking back, what do you wish you'd understood about success, ambition, and life when you were younger?
• If you were in my position, what advice do you have for me?
• Or just any other thoughts, experiences, story, opinions or anything you think would help.

I'm not really looking for generic advice like "you're only 15, enjoy your life." I understand that. I'm more interested in hearing from people who've gone through similar experiences, what they learned, and how their perspectives changed over time.

I'd really appreciate any honest advice or personal experiences.