Wednesday and Thursday are my days off from work, I always look forward to them, and the sleeping in Wednesday morning gives me such a feeling of relief.

... and then I do nothing for the next 48 hours. I really don't know how to explain it, but I have dozens of things I can do, that I know I enjoy, but I just, can't do them. I'll sit and play a video game for 30 minutes, but then I decide it isn't enjoyable enough, so maybe I'll try one or two other ones, but they don't scratch the itch. So then I'll try playing guitar, but none of the songs I know make me feel good, and when I try to learn a new one, it feels like I'm doing a job, so I put that down. I'll try painting or any other form of art, but I can't take the image from my head and translate it into the real world, so I get frustrated and stop.

My whole life recently just feels like this same loop over and over again. I have so many other substantial things I'd like to do, but they all are motivationally impossible for me. I wish I could take my medication again, but I have a heart abnormality which needs to get cleared, and I'm terrified that whatever the results are make me unable to take stimulants again. I haven't been medicated since like, March and its getting to me. I don't understand how I do nothing yet I'm exhausted all the time

I don't know if I want advice or just to write this down somewhere, but I'll still post this because I've spent too long writing it to just delete it

33F, started a new job 3.5 months ago, dream position but HIGHLY competitive in a big industry. With this position comes overseeing a workforce of 600 staff at a local level. Now I don’t manage these people, but I oversee the operation so I interact with them.
When I first started I was very proud of myself, I felt I was making connections and building rapport. My boss hit me one day with the sentence “you come across quite cold” and honestly, it shocked me. But, I worked on it, albeit I was overthinking my interactions and being overly cautious, but I was keeping it in mind.
Since then, I have had some staff treat me quite rudely, borderline bullying. One made off handed comments about how my perfume smelled like mortein, I’ve had some try and twist my actions stating that I don’t know what I’m doing/don’t care/don’t trust them. This is a legacy business with staff who have been doing the same position years, so I knew this would be a challenge, but what I didn’t expect was my boss openly supporting their claims without hearing me out.
So yesterday, he booked a coffee catch up with me. I thought it was exactly what it said on my invite, so I brought my notebook which had ideas I was excited to share. But instead, we sat on a random bench, and he delivered my action plan to me regarding how I interact with people, no support person or heads up that this was being delivered.
How that was delivered aside, more to the points he raised. He said I have been noted with my hands in my pockets. He said I have given directions to staff without politely asking first (I did that once, I was spoken to, have not done it since), he said I approach staff without properly introducing myself, and sometimes walk into an area without acknowledging each staff member. He also said I need to talk to staff more and I said I do, and he said “no, not about work, about their personal lives”.
(Cont in comments)

I’m not an expert, but I may have found something that works for me. I have had the hardest time waking up as many of you maybe can relate. I don’t know what it is or why, and have yet to arrive at a solution to going to sleep, but I have arrived at a solution for waking up! I don’t care particularly about the health risks/consequences as much as I care about not being late because of not waking up and trying to find an alarm system that works.

I have begun field testing a new method that involves a bendy arm iPad holder and turning on flash for my alarm and positioning my phone with the backside facing me and without fail my flashbang phone wakes me up CONSISTENTLY at 0730 even if I have nothing to do. I have made it to appointments on time, haven’t missed a class. It sounds like the smallest thing, but for the last couple days it feels like I have my mornings back and I don’t feel like an awful human being for missing things and having to apologize for missing class or rescheduling.

Disclaimer: This is not medical advice, and I’m not an expert. This was merely a curiosity side project while I was bored. I’m not recommending it, but it did work for me. Vibrating wristbands didn’t, Alarmy and math problems didn’t, and the thing where your phone just doesn’t go off hasn’t happened.

I was starting to be quite open with the fact I have adhd and my struggles with it, but when I read a lot of these threads and see how people talk about someone they know in their life with adhd, or just people with adhd in general it reminds me of how people actually see me and just makes me go back to masking.

Every morning my mood level is different.

Maybe today I will be depressed and unable to do anything. Or maybe it will be completely fine and I will be full of energy and positive and outgoing.

It’s getting exhausting.

Is this an ADHD thing? Am I depressed?

I don’t know what to think or do anymore.

Is anyone’s biggest struggle actually their own time and managing to “plan” their own free time and use it how you want? For example knowing you want to read 5 different books and you know it will make you feel good and accomplished or doing whatever intentional hobby that you want to do and then just losing the free time without intention. That’s the biggest issue for me because it just makes me feel stuck and I want to build future where I work for myself and on my projects but it feels impossible to stay on track with my wants and plans no matter how I plan it and how much free time I have..

I thought I'd do a quick follow up for my previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/s/RC4dGXlDoo

I have just spoken with my clinic (which is an NHS right to choose provider). We agreed with my new clinician than Elvanse/Yvanse is the highest risk and with my extensive family history of psychosis it's not the best fit. I was then given the choice of Concerta or a non stimulant. After a long discussion I've decided to go on Concerta but starting on a low dose (18 mg to 27mg, instead of their standard to 36mg) and with more spread out increases.

I'm not comfortable to go for 'high' doses (above 36mg) so if it doesn't work at lower doses I'll most likely be switching to a non stimulant.

If anyone has experience on going on ADHD medication with a family history of psychotic disorders please share.

Hi. 24 yo. I recently asked my therapist how she kept her room clean. In short, she basically said that she just does, and that the motivating factor in keeping a clean room is the clean room.
I’m curious about what ur systems of cleaning look like. I only ever clean if someone is coming over, and even then, it’s stuffing things under the bed in hopes nobody sees.

(Don't know what flair to use) I took my clonidine immediately right after but I don't know if it was the right thing to do honestly. Should I just try to go to sleep? I have a college class in the morning and I'm worried about the side effects now. It's currently 11:34 pm where I am and I don't know if it's worth it.

I don't wanna know what kind of thoughts I'll be having past midnight.

Hi.

I have suffered from depression for over a decade now and was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. None respond satisfactorily to medication.

I always had ups and downs, but since working a full-time job everything has been just getting worse. I have been progressively finding it more difficult to have a life outside work: enjoying things, having hobbies or socializing. I’ve grown to be constantly exhausted, struggling and feeling bad both mentally and physically.

People tell me to find another job. I can barely perform at a job I (originally) wanted, that‘s not excessively demanding and that I’m decent at. “It’s not that bad of a job” doesn’t help however rational it might be.

Quitting and taking some time to get better doesn’t seem a viable solution and might actually make my whole situation worse on the long term.

I feel trapped, honestly I don’t see myself getting out of this one.

Any kind of advice, experience or whatever is appreciated. Thank you.

I can spend two hours making the system. genuinely elite at this. folders, colors, deck structure, cute timer, perfect little database. Then I have six minutes of actual studying left and I am somehow exhausted.

there is washi tape in my drawer that was purchased FOR studying. I need everyone to understand the depth of the situation.

has anyone found a study tool that is boring enough not to become the hobby?? I need open thing, do thing, leave thing. no little house to decorate pls

Does anyone else have this thing where you can see a problem quite early and for you it appears quite obvious, but no one can see what the issue is to the point they think there is something wrong with you?!

But then in slow motion you watch it all play out exactly the same way you thought it would?

This has happened so much that I've actually started ignoring it...

Is this an ADHD thing or is it just me?

Currently in my second year of college. Feeling wildly unprepared to take on the rest of it. I'm already on academic probation as it is, and classes haven't gotten any easier. All of my friends seem to breeze through college without a care in the world, but it always feels like I'm gonna fall off once this semester ends, and that sucks. Studying is the hardest thing I've had to do while dealing with ADHD, as I can't seem to sit down for longer periods of time and really put my mind to it. I feel absolutely and completely fucked and I think I'm afraid I'm gonna flunk out of college and never see myself where I wanna be.

Is anyone else dealing with a situation like this? Is there any way that you were able to sit down and actually turn your college experience around?

I had my 3rd interview ever just today and I think I bombed that as well. I swear I can't process/hear what the interviewer is saying or asking half the time. All my processing goes into trying to understand/interpret them 😭. By the time I finally understand what they said/asked it would be a little too late and I look slow asf and I start mumbling absolute bs cuz I didn't get time to actually think of the answer 😭💔🥀

Ong I can't take ts no more.

Hi everyone! I’m 23F, studying Business Administration. Between work and uni, I haven’t really connected with anyone. I vibed with a couple of girls at uni, but it never went beyond that. I love paddle, crafts, and games. I like funny people with positive energy, but somehow they’re so rare to find :) I’d love friends I can randomly text to hang out with!

The problem is, I struggle with rejection. Feeling unwanted affects my self-esteem, so I eventually stopped trying to make friends and focused on enjoying my own company. But honestly, loneliness gets boring, so I decided to try again.
I went to a board game meetup ( went terrible since i struggled with instructions and felt so disconnected ) and I didn’t feel a connection with anyone. I also tried a beginner-friendly paddle meetup, but people weren’t very welcoming. In all of them I felt excluded and lonely :), a feeling that i really hate that i cry after wards..

Recently, I met two girls through Reddit. I liked their energy, but there wasn’t a strong connection, and now our group chat is silent. I organized our first meetup, so part of me wonders whether I should reach out again or stop being everyone’s unpaid event organizer…so Should I try reaching out again, or just leave it?

At this point, I’m genuinely curious:
HOW DO PEOPLE DO IT?

Do friendships happen through instant chemistry, or can they grow over time despite the awkwardness?

Where did you meet your adult friends, and how did acquaintances become actual friends?

I’m starting to think everyone got a friendship manual except me..

Hi guys I am 26 and my working memory is so terrible its genuinely embarrassing. I got diagnosed with ADHD at 24 1/2 and have tried 5,10,15,20 XR mg of Adderall since then and my memory seems to still be terrible. I have no issues sleeping and my vitamin levels are good. There is really no reason why I should have to buy anything additional just to try to remember even minor things???? I do not smoke, rarely drink , no kids etc. How am I suppose to have a really important career that requires memorization bc I will have a humans life in my hands and I cant even remember my passcode to my apartment building without looking at my phone ??? I havent even started professional school yet and just took a really important entrance exam that I don't think I did good on simply bc I couldnt even remember some of the answers that I LITERALLY saw VERBATIM on my practice exams ???? I just don't know what else to do. I have tried doing practice questions method over and over and while I can remember that I have seen the question before I can't remember the correct answer ??? Should I just switch my brand of Adderall or incorporate another brand ? I just really need help and I am so tired of living like this bc as I age its only going to get worse. Any recommendations would really help!

Just moaning.. rough day yesterday.

Poor night's sleep + bit too much coffee +plus 20mg medikinet xl + MSc lectures= fucking disaster. I was literally shaking. Awful. Awful. Awful.

I mean we live and learn.

Someone commented they noticed I don't take notes in lectures. My strategy is to sit slightly isolated (but close enough to others to not look odd) pen and paper. Take a few notes, but generally just try to listen. Then go home and assimilate that information. Ive noticed others tapping away. So I tried the same. Perhaps it's because I was tired and wired, but I was hopping round onto amazon, news websites, googling, opening and closing pages.

Just opened my laptop and realised the wires been left at uni ..

I have also just realised I've missed a fair bit of reading-not sure how.. wondering if these meds are just making me feel like I'm concentrating better but in actuality...

Just so much on. Uni. Moving house. Losing weight. Kids. Wife. Work. Heads fucking spinning.

I'll keep going for now, there are some def pro's to medication, especially when they land right. But when they don't .. perhaps just a bad day at the office! Jesus christ!

Hi all,

I've decided to go for parenthood (in 1 or 2 years). So now I'm wondering if parents in this sub would want to let me know how it's like to have AD(H)D and be a parent.

One thing I'm really scared about is: How to take care of someone else when I'm already struggling so much to take care of myself. I know I'd be a very caring and fun parent, but I also know kids need routine and predictability, which is... not my strongest quality xD
My partner is more of the Type A person in our relationship, and we already sometimes struggle with a 'kid-parent' dynamic, because he'll feel responsible for stuff I need to do (which I get because I often forget or procrastinate doing things).

I guess I just want to know from people how they avoid that relationship-dynamic and how they enforce structure around their kid.

Keeping a job feels like torture, and absolutely destroys my ability to do anything else even after I'm off on my work days, and I can feel it, that speeding thing in my brain, like it's going fast and slow at the same time. I know I need to keep going, but the suffering, and feeling of time taking a week per hour, the burn out.. anyway, I need to get medicated, and I just wanna know how much longer I have to withstand this feeling of dragging myself through work by the ankles before i can feel some sort of relief.

I am at a point where I'm so hateful to my life and how messed up everything is. untill a video on TikTok showed me what AVPD is and it kind of applies to me. So any experience out there?

For the last 8 years i spent 90% of my life in my room dreading the moment I'm told to go somewhere. I CANT STAND invites to weddings, feasts, class trips or whatever.

i Always decline, i have made 0 friends outside of my classmates inner circle and i only see/interact with them at school/for school.

People around mention to my dad why I'm always absent and nowhere to be seen only for my father to come home and fight me at how embarrassing it is having to explain to others why im so "introverted".

The thing is, i genuinely crave human connection i really do. i find myself maladaptive daydreaming ( an ADHD symptom ) all the time hanging out with friends and laughing and joking and being normal.

I have no idea how i can even try at life if I'm this messed up, this issue isn't even 5% of why I'm the way i am. I am obviously not going to write everything here, but i was just wondering if on top of ADHD i also have AVPD.

Your feedback would be highly appreciated.

Hi All,

Combined type adhd here trying to get through a postgrad course in Cognitive Neuroscience, and although my brain is loving the information I’m finding it really difficult to keep up with the required readings - each week has around 2-3 separate chapters or articles to get through, with each one being around 30 pages long.

I almost always use bionic reading to make this a little easier, but the format of some of the articles we are sent is making it really difficult to use the online tools I’ve previously been used to. Selecting the whole text from a PDF and copying it into a converter is proving difficult as the page numbers and headers/footers are automatically copied too, and often the font isn’t recognised properly (last week I had an essay on affective forecasting to read, but every “ff” was changed to an arrow shape when converted into txt or a doc, you can imagine how much of a mess this made it to read).

My university is willing to pay for software to make this easier for me, as I get government funding towards things like this for my ADHD, but I don’t know which tool/extension would be the most useful, and would hate to pay for one to find that it doesn’t work for what I need. I use chrome on my personal laptop but my work laptop uses microsoft edge so something that could work across both of these would be ideal - I tend to try and catch up on studying during my work breaks. The official bionic reading app does look promising but uploading texts isn’t offered in the free version, and any websites i’ve tried to convert so far haven’t worked; whether this is because they are PDFs or because they don’t support this I’m not sure.

If anyone has any experience using bionic reading for longer/poorly formatted texts and has any recommendations I would really appreciate it :)

I'm 46 and just thought I was unlucky, forgetful and absentminded. I was told throughout school that i had a short attention span, easily distracted and problem with following instructions. That i was stupid and would never amount to anything.

I thought that it was me. My downfall, my fault. I was the rotten egg. And I was bullied for it. I hated myself

Yet back then it wasn't known as anything. I was labelled a nuisance. Too much work for a teacher.

Then work arrived. I'm either classed as chronically late or absent. Great work but easily distracted and has a problem with time keeping.

Only when my ex, who just got diagnosed, 'mother suggested I also get tested did it all make sense.

My beautiful weird brain has fucked up my life so royally and in so many ways yet I can't blame it.

Husband and I both have ADHD, I need deep compression to sleep and have used a weighted blanket for 7 or so years now - hubby claims he doesn’t want one, but steals my weighted blanket in the night, which causes me to get irregular sleep and promotes my sleepwalking.

I just stumbled across compression sheets for the bed and wondered if this may be a good alternative to finding a ginormous weighted blanket for two people to share?

If not, I’m going to have to break out the sewing machine and we all know the rabbit hole that would ensue then.