If this isn’t the place to post this please let me know. To clarify, it’s not that we never wanted kids but that we weren’t planning on it, but agreed that if it happened it happened. We found out a couple of days ago that she’s about 6 weeks pregnant. We’ve been together for almost 6 years and are in a healthy relationship with each other. We also just moved 1100 miles away from home and family because I got a promotion at work and we haven’t told any family yet about the pregnancy. We are both going to be first-time parents and I’m not sure where we’re supposed to go from here. It’s all incredibly new to the both of us and we don’t have any type of solid community to rely on in our new home. We don’t want to move back because both of us don’t really have supporting families, her family, particularly her sister, always tries to insert themselves in our business and my family has disowned me for leaving the religion I was raised as. We don’t want to raise a child though in the place we moved too because we weren’t intending on staying. We wanted to move around a couple more times to different states until we found a spot we wanted to settle down but now we feel rushed in that process. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated, we are both very scared.

My wife makes more money than I do, and yet child care to state the obvious is too expensive. After our leave runs out, we've discussed what we should do in regards to child care, and it appears me staying home would be the best option. I don't have any qualms about being a stay at home dad, I just want to do it right. It will be a commitment that I'll have for years. I know that it'll be rewarding, but I can't say it doesn't scare me. I value being able to make it to the gym, being able to see friends maybe once every two weeks or so, and I enjoy being valued in the workplace, and with the latter, I know that my work will obviously be valued by my wife and child but that it becomes largely invisible and that, in our market, being removed from the labor force (the dreaded "work gap" on the resume) is seen as a character defect or sign of potential weakness. I want to be able to care for my child the best, keep the house the cleanest I can. Any pointers from dads who became a stay at home parent after your newborn entered the world?

My husband and I are officially trying! My husband has little to no experience around pregnant women and limited experience with babies. We are both very excited and i want to help him prepare as best as I can so that I do not go through this feeling like a single mom teaching him but also to empower him to be the best father to our kids and role model it for them!

Was there a moment in time it all clicked for you and you began taking things more serious? And howd you go about you taking things more serious? How did you best prepare for fatherhood and having a pregnant partner? Any particular classes? Unfortunately no daddy boot camps in our area... birthing classes? or things you learned or books or anything that helped with that? Any helpful tips?

As of january next year, we're going to start trying. I bought a house. I have a good paying job. Things are finally at a point where I am comfortable caring for my child. I am extremely excited to meet them. Wife is currently weaning off her medications and will be going on prenatal vitamins in december.

It's sort of silly to announce that we're trying, I know, but for me, it's enormous. This is something I have been preparing for since I was 19. If all goes according to plan, I'll be a dad roughly around september next year! How cool is that!?

Edit: yes, I know September is unrealistic. That's mostly the excitement talking.

Thank you all❤️

My wife and I went to our very first ultrasound yesterday and we haven’t told any family yet but I just need to share it somewhere!

It really hit me now after seeing the baby and hearing the heartbeat for the first time. First time dad and we are only at 9.5 weeks, but I’m thrilled and excited to be experiencing this with the love of my life. I can’t wait to be a dad!

I work from home (California) and I am the primary engineer on an IT project. My project is VERY manageable by a single person, but will need to have someone cover for the 6 weeks of paternity leave that my work offers.

My wife and I are currently 3 months pregnant, so just curious at what point I should bring it up with my manager (who I have an extremely good relationship with)?

Wife is due soon. Has anyone cranked out a few sets of push ups for a quick pump while wife is pushing? Don't want my future child to see the photos one day and think dad isn't shredded

Wife's nearly at 37 weeks and we did the baby shower a couple weeks back, boy howdy there's a lot of stuff! Early on we thought we didn't need a nursery at first, after all, he was going to be in our room for the first 6mo to a year, what could the baby need a whole room for?! Turns out you need that nursery just for somewhere to put all the baby stuff! Start early on the baby space my dudes, don't wait until the last minute like we did.

Hey daddios,

New to the club - 8 weeks in over here and we are absolutely in love with our baby girl - I can’t believe how much this experience has already changed me over the past close to two months.

I know I’ll probably get downvoted for this, but wanted to come to this community to see……how have you approached a return to sex life with your partners? I haven’t brought anything up, my wife seems not interested in it at all right now….but it’s something that has started to creep back into my mind. If you don’t mind me asking, when did you guys get back to that part of your lives with your partner? Was there a discussion around it that you had? I’d be lying if I said I don’t miss the intimacy and am starting to crave that part of our relationship again.

Would love to hear everyone else’s experiences if comfortable! I don’t have any friends with kids so this is truly new territory.

We’re expectng our first child in three weeks, and we’re currently finalizing the nursery.
We managed to get some of the big ticket items at good sale prices like bassinet and mattress, car seat, stroller, etc. We got a changng table from Marketplace that too in excellent condition and we also recieved a good number of things at our baby shower as gifts.

But yesterday while we were setting everythng up in our nursery, my wife brought up something I had no idea was even a thing, a diaper pail. She insists that a proper diaper pale is important, otherwise the poop smell is going to take over our entire house. She also says she’s basically saving me from making daily trips to the outside trash can. Normally I’m on garbage duty anyway, so I figured I should actually look into this.
The names that kept coming up in my research were Ubbi, Dekor, Momcozy, and Munchkin Step. TBH, all the rviews on features like extra seals, odor control, and proprietary diaper pail refills started going a little over my head.

So, fellow dads, tell me which diaper pail actually has the strongest odor control? Does it genuinely save you from having to empty the pail every day? Kindly share your first-hand experience. Especially if you’ve gone through the newborn stage and can tell me what you wish you had known before buying one.

Posted this last spring with lots of discussion. It's archived now so comments are closed and a lot of you weren't here yet. It's still the thing I most want a new dad to hear at 3am, so I'm putting it back up.

Dad of 3 here.

Nobody warned me about 3am rage.

That weird surge of anger when you're holding a crying newborn and haven't slept. I remember standing there thinking something was wrong with me.

My first baby was also colicky so even his grandparents weren't sure how to handle him during his witching hours.

The single best advice I eventually got was simple and felt almost insulting in the moment:
Put the baby down somewhere safe. Walk away. Take a breath.

It sounds easy. It's not.
But it's the right move.

That stretch actually pushed me into therapy, which ended up being one of the best things I've done. I learned that the combo of sleep deprivation + pressure + feeling responsible but powerless is a brutal mix.

If you hit that wall, you're not broken or alone.
What I'd add this time: I never heard this from a doctor, a class, or another dad. I found out alone at 3am assuming I was the problem.

So if you've already been through it, tell a new dad. Ideally before 3am.

Did anyone else deal with this? What helped you regulate it?

My wife surprised me and we are now having a kid I just want to know what to prepare for and expect during her pregnancy. (She is only about 4-5 weeks pregnant give or take)

Hey all. We just found out we’re expecting, due around late May. I’m 27, desk job, haven’t trained in about 2 years, and my neck and shoulders are a mess from sitting all day. I’ve got a barbell and dumbbells at home and I want to use the next ~8 months to build a habit that survives the newborn phase.

For those who tried something similar:

• Did you stick with it during the pregnancy? What made you quit, if you did?
• Did anything you built before the birth actually carry over after?
• Anything you wish you’d focused on instead (sleep, cooking, learning baby stuff)?

Thanks, and congrats to everyone else in the same boat.

Ok so my wife (37) is wanting to start trying to get pregnant. We currently have an almost 2 year old through foster to adopt, so this would be her first pregnancy. She has gone back and forth over the years if she wants to give birth or not, and since we were placed with our daughter, she mostly has leaned toward wanting to continue with foster to adopt instead of giving birth herself.

However, about 6 months ago life start getting a lot with her work and her family, never mind entering toddler hood with our daughter.

I’ve always told her that I would never tell her not to have the experience of getting pregnant and giving birth if that’s something that she wants to experience - but I’m worried her new interest in being pregnant is more about trying to have an excuse to “get out of” some of the harder parts of life. I know that sounds awful to say, but it’s my fear.

I worry this because often when she talks about being pregnant and giving birth , she mentions how it will “get her out of” her work life for a while. Or she throws out little tasks and is like you’ll just do that when I’m pregnant right?

I don’t want to be a jerk and make her think j don’t support her having a baby if that’s what she really wants - but I also don’t know if we can manage pregnancy and the 4th trimester if her mind set is mostly that I will just take care of everything for the whole family.

I’ve mentioned this to her a bit - and she has assured me that’s not what will happen. I’ve even brought up that before she is pregnant I would love to make plan around household and parenting responsibilities so we both feel comfortable before we are in the weeds of her actually being pregnant and hormones and everything. Obviously we’d adjust if medical things came up or whatever - but I mean a best guess plan for how things will go.

Idk am I being a jerk? Or selfish?

My husband (30M) and I (29F) have been together for over 11 years, we are pregnant with our first, and I’m 30w. We haven’t had sex since since August, his bday. Even then, I felt like he wasn’t super into it but we both climaxed. There’s been zero effort or drive on his end.

Me on the other hand, I’ve always had a high sex drive so I’m still very much taking care of my own needs. I brought it up tonight as like a casual “Hey, I can understand if sex isn’t on your mind right now, and if you’re masturbating that would be ok too.” He denied masturbating and says he just don’t have a sex drive right now and that everything’s okay and it’s not me. But this is not normal for us I guess, so it’s hard to think it’s not me.

Anyone else been here or currently here? Did your sex life return after baby?