r/gonewanton • u/Sir_Lord_B • Jun 20 '21

Welcome to r/gonewanton - The Gentlemen's club where Everyone is Most Welcome NSFW

77 Upvotes

May I most humbly welcome you to my private club.

All are welcome to join, and to speak freely and easily, especially if it regards wayward and problematic servants and their ill-educated ways.

As with all clubs, there are some house rules, which I must encourage members to inspect and regard at all times.

Please make yourself comfortable, and enjoy a fine Brandy.

You are most welcome to share photolithographs of your staff in a state of undress.

2 comments

r/gonewanton • u/Sir_Lord_B • 12d ago

Sir, Lady B_ do complain that the curtains, drapes &tc are unfit for another winter, for they are thick with cobwebs, soot and smuts. I do devise a system for maid Bessie to perfectly preserve her clothing yet ensuring the drapes are cleaned to Lady B_'s satisfaction. I stay awhile to supervise. NSFW

142 Upvotes

1 comment

r/gonewanton • u/Sir_Lord_B • Sep 11 '26

Sir, Upon hearing the most scurrilous rumours that have late been circulating among the village folk, I wish to make it clear that I am a most modern and progressive employer. I do not distinguish by colour or creed, and all are welcome to earn an extra halfpenny to assist me with my interests. NSFW

264 Upvotes

3 comments

r/gonewanton • u/Sir_Lord_B • Sep 02 '26

Sir, I should very much like to know who has wilfully torn the last five or six weeks out of my diary. It is perfectly monstrous! NSFW

301 Upvotes

6 comments

r/gonewanton • u/Sir_Lord_B • Jun 11 '26

Sir, My explanation that the artist girl from the village merely wished to avoid soiling her delicate clothes with paint was not, alas, received with the degree of verisimilitude that I had hoped. NSFW

360 Upvotes

2 comments

r/gonewanton • u/Sir_Lord_B • May 13 '26

Sir, a postcard arrives from Gussy Herbert. "On Government business to the Empire. Am stuck in Paris, but negotiating some imaginative trade deals" NSFW

245 Upvotes

5 comments

r/gonewanton • u/Sir_Lord_B • Apr 15 '26

Sir, Lady B_ do return from visiting most wealthy relatives, and do talk greatly of staff who welcome guests upon their arrival. I give much thought to this idea, and find it most pleasing. It later transpires that our ideas do differ somewhat, and Lady B_ hires an elderly butler. NSFW

292 Upvotes

0 comments

r/gonewanton • u/Sir_Lord_B • Apr 08 '26

Advertismental promotion : Subscribers to the Post Office Telephone Service shall find delight in a call to Miss Buxom, whereupon a discourse of conjugal activities may take place. Ask the operator for Tuppingham 3. (calls charged at thruppence ha'penny per minute. Operator may be eavesdropping). NSFW

107 Upvotes

4 comments

r/gonewanton • u/Sir_Lord_B • Mar 31 '26

Sir, Upon return from visiting family in the Shires, Lady B_ is excerised as to having modern entertainments, minstrels &tc. I enquire in the village as to such, and do book the Tumblers from Lesbos. Lady B_ does not appreciate their art, although I do find their European style most agreeable. NSFW

222 Upvotes

1 comment

r/gonewanton • u/Sir_Lord_B • Mar 14 '26

Sir, I cannot explain why, but I feel the greatest need to find a comfortable cushion. And yet I cannot. NSFW

233 Upvotes

1 comment

r/gonewanton • u/Sir_Lord_B • Mar 11 '26

Sir, A ragged-clothed wench did call at my door enquiring of employment, and, as a modern philanthropist, I did immediately bring her in, remove her of her disease-ridden rags and put her so to work. Within a few months she shall be able to purchase new clothing, which she greatly anticipates. NSFW

266 Upvotes

2 comments

r/gonewanton • u/Rinoremover1 • Mar 02 '26

"The Cursed Woman" doth protest TOO MUCH! NSFW

246 Upvotes

9 comments

r/gonewanton • u/Sir_Lord_B • Feb 26 '26

Sir, To-Day I find Maid Annie acting most peculiar. She reports seeing things that others do not, and dances around in great flights of fancy, declaring herself to be the 'lizard queen'. I do suspect that she has been at the Absinthe again. NSFW

342 Upvotes

4 comments

r/gonewanton • u/Sir_Lord_B • Feb 09 '26

Sir, At church on Sunday I am approached by Mr Fumbleton,book dealer, who has a most instructive volume of great interest. He tells me that Mr Pepys himself did describe this as "a mighty lewd book". I retire to my library with great haste for a most satisfying evening of study and learning. NSFW

gallery

176 Upvotes

6 comments

r/gonewanton • u/Sir_Lord_B • Feb 03 '26

Sir, As a progressive employer, I do like to involve the staff in entertainments that their betters enjoy. I attempt to explain the rules of "French Whist" to maid Bessie but she dislikes numbers. Eventually we find a game we can both enjoy. Her hand is good, but I do have Mr Bunn the Baker. NSFW

183 Upvotes

0 comments

r/gonewanton • u/Sir_Lord_B • Jan 17 '26

Sirs, If you have somewhat over-indulged this yuletide past, you may wish to attend a fine lecture and practical exhibition of callisthenics in the Dashwood hall. Miss Beatrix Pemberton will soon restore your former vitality with her most nimble methods. NSFW

214 Upvotes

1 comment

r/gonewanton • u/Sir_Lord_B • Dec 31 '25

Sir, I awoke to a great commotion from the servants quarters last night. Rushing to see what was the matter and fearing intruders, I found maids Fanny and Kitty in a most curious embrace. They hastily explained that they were marking the equinox. I shall speak to the vicar about this tomorrow. NSFW

306 Upvotes

1 comment

r/gonewanton • u/ageowns • Dec 28 '25

Is this how the sir wishes for the bed to be made? I may have forgotten part of my uniform. NSFW

184 Upvotes

3 comments

r/gonewanton • u/Sir_Lord_B • Dec 25 '25

Sirs and Madams, My good wife Lady B____, myself and all my staff, wish you a very happy Christmas and do raise a glass in a toast to you all. Correspondence over the next few days may be somewhat intermittent, as I have a large quantity of brandy to consume. Seasons felicitations to one and all. NSFW

275 Upvotes

3 comments

r/gonewanton • u/Sir_Lord_B • Dec 24 '25

Sir, I have instructed staff to decorate the hall with paper chains and festive frivolity. Following last year's unpleasantness (Lady B___ did walk in when a naked maid Frances sat upon my shoulders so to reach the highest candelabra) I have supplied the staff with a stout ladder. I supervise. NSFW

166 Upvotes

0 comments

r/gonewanton • u/Sir_Lord_B • Dec 16 '25

Sir, Lady B____ returns from visiting her family, and declares that our hallway do look drab and run down. She demands new paintings and artwork to be placed such as to impress visitors. I engage maids Mary and Lizzy to help inspire me. NSFW

281 Upvotes

3 comments

r/gonewanton • u/Previous-Ganache-701 • Dec 08 '25

At this Yuletide my kitchens are a true exemplar of industry. I raise my concerns with Chef should some of the staff be overwhelmed by the heat of the ovens and he makes an agreeable suggestion. NSFW

221 Upvotes

1 comment

r/gonewanton • u/Previous-Ganache-701 • Dec 08 '25

Sir, A hairdresser calls by way of recommenation to the house. After attending to her Ladyship I find her a few small tasks in the servants quarters that are overdue. NSFW

165 Upvotes

4 comments

r/gonewanton • u/Sir_Lord_B • Dec 03 '25

Sir, The Membership secretary informs me that our little club do now have 40,000 members. Whilst I am sure a quantity of members may be on the books yet long since deceased (indeed, some in Curmudgeon Hall have not moved much these past few days), I do raise a glass of Port to you all. Cheers! NSFW

257 Upvotes

6 comments

r/gonewanton • u/Sir_Lord_B • Nov 19 '25

Sir, A communique arrives from Gussy Herbert, currently a government delegate in France. "Arrived in Gay Paris. Trade delegation very dull, though great success after an impromptu meeting in the carriage from Lille. Much business was done in those few hours!". Poor Gussy does work hard. NSFW

241 Upvotes

4 comments

Subreddit

Ladies of the past cavorting themselves

r/gonewanton

Ladies of the past cavorting themselves in a most dubious manner

Members Active

43.0k

Sidebar

Be on thy guard of any unusual private communiques enclosing a desire to share "private" photos with you from unknown or new suitors. It could be a virus or the syphilis!

For courting, strumpetry, cavorting, Greco-Roman wrestling bouts, and sexual brannigans please go to Oxfordshire Park.

0) Report any comments or threads you find unsavory. Constables will check the reported queue as often as humanly possible. Should you come across voyeurs being mean spirited (routinely), comments, or people shouting thy personal info at the public square (names, address of post, etc.) report it immediately and do your God-given duty!

1) Be respectful. Don't insult the ones brave enough to proffer lithographs / videograms. If you don't want to see the male tallywhacker then don't open the ones with the [gentleman] tag... it'll likely be tallywhackers.

2) Don't make blatantly 'creepy' or 'Jack the Ripper' comments. Don't be a common harlot / strumpet. No one likes it and it's just not as enjoyable as being part of the GW box social.

3) The man who delivers these engravings by horseback sometimes mistakenly nabs perfectly genuine non-counterfeit works. If you think a submission of yours or someone else has been "banished" then please contact the Lord of your township.

4) Please add a [gentleman] or [lady] tag in the title of your submission(s). Feel free to be creative and play with this tag. An empty titular diagram or simply a mark of question are also admissible, with the understanding that if someone inquires within they don't mind a surprising outcome!

5) GW constables don't moderate conversations. Sorry, can't help with inaudible questions. Feel free to contact us about anything else.

Welcome to r/gonewanton - The Gentlemen's club where Everyone is Most Welcome NSFW

Sir, I should very much like to know who has wilfully torn the last five or six weeks out of my diary. It is perfectly monstrous! NSFW

Sir, My explanation that the artist girl from the village merely wished to avoid soiling her delicate clothes with paint was not, alas, received with the degree of verisimilitude that I had hoped. NSFW

Sir, a postcard arrives from Gussy Herbert. "On Government business to the Empire. Am stuck in Paris, but negotiating some imaginative trade deals" NSFW

Sir, Lady B___ do return from visiting most wealthy relatives, and do talk greatly of staff who welcome guests upon their arrival. I give much thought to this idea, and find it most pleasing. It later transpires that our ideas do differ somewhat, and Lady B___ hires an elderly butler. NSFW

Sir, I cannot explain why, but I feel the greatest need to find a comfortable cushion. And yet I cannot. NSFW

Sir, A ragged-clothed wench did call at my door enquiring of employment, and, as a modern philanthropist, I did immediately bring her in, remove her of her disease-ridden rags and put her so to work. Within a few months she shall be able to purchase new clothing, which she greatly anticipates. NSFW

"The Cursed Woman" doth protest TOO MUCH! NSFW

Sir, To-Day I find Maid Annie acting most peculiar. She reports seeing things that others do not, and dances around in great flights of fancy, declaring herself to be the 'lizard queen'. I do suspect that she has been at the Absinthe again. NSFW

Sir, At church on Sunday I am approached by Mr Fumbleton,book dealer, who has a most instructive volume of great interest. He tells me that Mr Pepys himself did describe this as "a mighty lewd book". I retire to my library with great haste for a most satisfying evening of study and learning. NSFW

Sir, As a progressive employer, I do like to involve the staff in entertainments that their betters enjoy. I attempt to explain the rules of "French Whist" to maid Bessie but she dislikes numbers. Eventually we find a game we can both enjoy. Her hand is good, but I do have Mr Bunn the Baker. NSFW

Sirs, If you have somewhat over-indulged this yuletide past, you may wish to attend a fine lecture and practical exhibition of callisthenics in the Dashwood hall. Miss Beatrix Pemberton will soon restore your former vitality with her most nimble methods. NSFW

Sir, I awoke to a great commotion from the servants quarters last night. Rushing to see what was the matter and fearing intruders, I found maids Fanny and Kitty in a most curious embrace. They hastily explained that they were marking the equinox. I shall speak to the vicar about this tomorrow. NSFW

Is this how the sir wishes for the bed to be made? I may have forgotten part of my uniform. NSFW

Sir, I have instructed staff to decorate the hall with paper chains and festive frivolity. Following last year's unpleasantness (Lady B___ did walk in when a naked maid Frances sat upon my shoulders so to reach the highest candelabra) I have supplied the staff with a stout ladder. I supervise. NSFW

Sir, Lady B____ returns from visiting her family, and declares that our hallway do look drab and run down. She demands new paintings and artwork to be placed such as to impress visitors. I engage maids Mary and Lizzy to help inspire me. NSFW

At this Yuletide my kitchens are a true exemplar of industry. I raise my concerns with Chef should some of the staff be overwhelmed by the heat of the ovens and he makes an agreeable suggestion. NSFW

Sir, A hairdresser calls by way of recommenation to the house. After attending to her Ladyship I find her a few small tasks in the servants quarters that are overdue. NSFW

Sir, The Membership secretary informs me that our little club do now have 40,000 members. Whilst I am sure a quantity of members may be on the books yet long since deceased (indeed, some in Curmudgeon Hall have not moved much these past few days), I do raise a glass of Port to you all. Cheers! NSFW

Sir, A communique arrives from Gussy Herbert, currently a government delegate in France. "Arrived in Gay Paris. Trade delegation very dull, though great success after an impromptu meeting in the carriage from Lille. Much business was done in those few hours!". Poor Gussy does work hard. NSFW

Sir, Lady B_ do return from visiting most wealthy relatives, and do talk greatly of staff who welcome guests upon their arrival. I give much thought to this idea, and find it most pleasing. It later transpires that our ideas do differ somewhat, and Lady B_ hires an elderly butler. NSFW