r/ApplyingToCollege • u/Beneficial_Cat9142 • 13h ago
Application Question Haven't started any of my applications yet because I hate myself.
I'm not a bad student. I have a 4.91/5.0 GPA and 1510 SAT. I will have taken 10 APs and I've already gotten all four 4s and one 5. My extracurriculars aren't great but I've rowed for 4 years (fall, winter, spring) and have some small leadership positions in other things.
Despite my okay stats, I am 100% done for. I mean, no one I know hasn't started their application process besides me. I don't know what to do. I haven't even put in my extracurriculars in common app yet, haven't started my essay, haven't done any supplementals.
I really wanted to apply early action to schools because I know it helps your chances but at this point I don't know if it's possible.
Every time I try to start my college essay, I delete everything. I don't see why any schools should accept me because I genuinely see no value in myself. I have no direction in life.
I was going to apply for engineering because I used to think I was good at math and science but honestly I don't think I'm good at anything anymore. So the whole "why this major" thing is also going to be hard to write.
I guess my question is how do I write a college essay that convinces admission officers that I'm worthy if I hate myself and will probably end up useless in society?